Pre-Teen Male Hormones

I totally know what you are going through... My son is 14. I have a very short leash on my son... He doesn't have a responsibility bone in his body or respect for himself or others...He doesn't go out to hang out with people I don't know and he doesn't go to anyone's house where I don't know the parents and know that they are home. He is NOT ALLOWED to go to a girls house. (there is too much history in my own life that I don't wish for him to repeat) At school there is enough drama with girls. It is the teachers' and the principles' job to watch him there... My son has had several different "girlfriends" through out the school year...He hasn't gone or even asked if he could go out on a "date"... Which I am not to upset about... This year has been a learning experience with him. Girls are mean and Girls should not be allowed to walk all over you and make you feel less then you are. I think that if he does as me if he can take a girl out on a date I will be going...Just like I think that her parents would want to go... People are crazy these days you never know what they will let their teenagers do...

Have a blessed Mother's Day...
K. J.

Hi J.,

Here are some tips I have learned over the years; purchase net nanney so that you can keep tabs on the computer as to what is going on. Verify, where they are going and check on them. If they say they are going to a friends house get the telephone number to the house and the parents name. Get your son active in activities i.e., martial arts, sports, etc. The number one reason for drug use in teens is boredom. This is a very important point. Kids get pressured and lied to about drugs and sex. And they start early now a days. So I would have all bases covered. Stay very connected with daily communication.

This might sound like bad news this advice, but at this age they start getting confused and excited about life and need more guidance than any other age. If he has things to do that interest him, this will help him.

Deb

I am a mother of THREE girls,6,7 and soon to be 13 and i am going through the same things...she has a different boyfriend every week and i remember what that meant when i was her age...Me and my fiance agree that there will be no dating until she is 16 but i think its ok to go to the movies,hang out or whatever as long as there is an adult chaperone.

I think each individual child is different, depending on maturity level with when you let them go to movies and places alone with friends. Make sure you are confident you've explained all the "ifs" to him (drugs, bad influences from other kids, possible not-so-good adults on the loose, etc.,) and watch for a maturity level that would allow you to feel comfortable. I would still drop off and pick up for a bit at this age unless you know another parent is doing it. I did not allow my daughter (different with girls LOL) in other teens' cars until after 16. (I have four children: 20, 10, 8 and 3.)

Hi J.,

I have 13 yo and 14 yo girls. They are also getting into the same things as your son. I have just started to let them do things with a group and have been suprised at how responsible they have been. They 1st piece of advice is to invest in a cell phone for your son if he doesn't already have one. Just put strict guidelines on it. We have done this, and require the girls to call and check in at specific times when they are away. Just trust that he will do the right thing.

K.

Speaking from my own memories and with conscience of a mother.
I think now is a good age just stay in touch(cell phone,with gps tracking this way you can stay in touch and for his own safety and your piece of mind know h is where he says) and keep timing with drop off and pick strict so there isn't time for mischief after movie or bowling and most bowling alleys also do specific times and nights for kids of that age to make it safer, and of course always encourage groups strength in numbers. I'm a new mom myself but only 23 and remember being that age the nights parents did the drops and pickup we were more disciplined because their timing forced it also. early pops in though corny are safe at this age too that way they expect it sometimes and won't leave wonder off elsewhere. Make sure also when relying on other parents you can trust them because I remember some of my friends parents being more liberal we got into more those nights. Just speaking from memory and with now the conscience of a mother. Good Luck