Potty Training Troubles - Morrison, OK

I know it is frustrating especially when you are probably looking forward to not buying pull ups any longer. Yet when my 9 year old was 3 I tried to potty train her, I tried stickers on a chart I tried books to read while on the potty I even tried a potty seat for the toilet. She ended up just deciding I don't want to poop in my pants any more and started going on her own at about 3 1/2. I still kept up what I was doing and the potty seat helped. she did not like the little potty on the floor. I did buy "training pants" not ender wear they have a little more thickness to them.

Hi J.,

I share your frustration with potty training, but rest assured that you are not in this alone and your daughter's behavior is typical. It may just be that she has lost interest temporarily. Have you tried making a reward chart and allowing her to put stickers on it when she goes? My daughter loves this training method. When her chart is filled, we allow her to take a trip to Chuck E Cheese. My daughter will go, but she won't tell us every time when she needs to go. It may just be that your daughter is so involved in whatever it is that she is doing that she forgets to go. Maybe every 30 minutes is a little too much too often for her. Try offering her an opportunity once every 2 hours or so. Some kids do better potty training bare bottom. You might also want to consider this as an option if it is possible. Also, when potty training, there will inevitably be accidents, and your daughter will have them. Sometimes even after completing potty training, some kids still have an occasional accident. Try not to scold her or be too upset about it. Just know that she is behaving in a way that any 3 year old would. I know many schools push to have kids potty trained by 3 years old, but for some kids, potty training isn't completely accomplished until even after 4 years old. So, don't worry. Every kid matures at a different pace. Your daughter will be potty trained before you even realize it, and one day you'll look back and ask where the time went. Good luck and enjoy her stages!

It can be tricky but i finally found something that worked with my son.

1. Leave her naked from the waist down at home except at bed time. Then there is nothing touching her bottom to trick her mind into thinking diaper.

2. Vinyl underpants. You can get them at Wal Mart or Target or the Baby stores. they usually go up to size 3. You have her wear her big girl panties with the vinyl undies over them. Them mess cannot be absorbed like in a diaper so it is very uncomfortable for them. But it is better protection for the pants you don't go through as many.

One week of that and my son was using the potty like a pro. If he had an accident it was always "That's OK you'll do better next time" and repeat what they need to do. If he had an "accident" on the couch or floor (which by that time they were not really accidents but defiance) he was scolded and lost a privilage for half an hour. Once he got the hang of it I stopped cleaning him up after his accidents it became his responsibility. (I of course helped a bit on the wiping) When he had to clean himself up he realized it was much easier to use the potty. I did not make him do it as a punishment, I simply told him that was what big boys do when they learn to use the potty. The pullups don't allow them to feel uncomfortable. He still uses them at bedtime but we are getting better every day and it has only been one month. I hope this helps and good luck.

Has anything changed in the household since she was pottytrained. I wouldnt put the pullups back on its like reverting her back to a baby. I would keep letting her wear the panties and letting her feel wet and maybe possibly when she poops and pees, make her clean the underwear.

Good Luck

My youngest son was like this. He was potty-trained around 3, but then a month later kept having accidents-he just didn't care. I did put him back in diapers until he could be a "big boy." That didn't work-he could have cared less if he was in diapers or underpants. I left it all alone for a few months, then at 3 1/2, I put him back in underpants and told him he was a big boy. He had a lot of accidents, but I made him change his wet pants everytime for several days-lots of screaming and crying about it, but after 4 days, he stopped having accidents. I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do, but it worked for me. I think he was just such a busy little guy, he just didn't want to stop to go potty. He's almost 4 and still has an accident once a week, but will change his clothes himself. I figure sooner or later he'll stop having accidents!

I am a firm believer that it will happen when it happens. Our first daughter basically potty trained herself before she was 2 1/2. Our 2nd daughter was almost four. She even said, "It is just easier to just go in my pull up." I was a wits end. When it looked like she wouldn't be able to go to preschool, SHE DECIDED to get it together and she was able to go to preschool. She is a bit strong willed to say the least. Don't fret, she won't be going to kindergarten in pull ups. I promise.

A couple of ideas came to mind... First of all, do you talk about "big girl" stuff alot? I did that some and then one day my daughter cried and told me she doesn't want to grow up and doesn't want to be a "big girl." I stopped using that term and things were easier, I then just talked about being comfortable and smelling nice and stuff like that. Afterwards, I found out that that is fairly common (and it got to be a bigger deal after the first time she watched Peter Pan!) My other idea is, how open is your house... I think my daughter wanted to use the toilet because she saw me doing the same. This might gross some people out, but we got up in the morning and both sat on the toilet (her on her little potty) at the same time and it made her want to go. She wants to do anything mama is doing. I hope this helps. I agree with the advice not to push it too hard or punish. Kids want to do this and they do in their own time as long as the adults around them give them the opportunity. Good luck. Just keep reminding yourself she won't be doing this when she's 14 (that's what I tell myself for all the sweetly irritating things that go along with 3-year-olds).

J.,
I am a mother of four. The oldest are 13 and the youngest is 5. My grandmother always told us that when they are ready they will go by themselves. One thing I question is "does she attend daycare? has anything happened to tramatize her?" Sometimes when things happen in their little lives they regress. Sometimes when they are trained too soon they regress. Just try to be patient, continue to talk to her, and try not to make her feel "pressured". I am sure you all are doing a great job parenting your children. Going back to pull-ups was a great plan. As soon as she gets tired of the wetness and poo on her bottom then things will change. GOOD LUCK.

i had the oppoosite trouble......my girls were easy, but my 5 year old son was so hard that i was just about my wits end. it took us over a year to potty train him. he was almost 4 till he started using the potty on his own. all i can tell you is that when she is ready she will start going on her own, thats what i found out with my son. now my son is almost 6 and he still has to wear a pull up to bed, he sleeps so hard that he still wets himself. even when we wake him up in the middle of the night to go potty! i got so fustrated i didn't know what to do. then i finally talked with my husbands mother and found out that she wt the bed till she was 12 and my husband wet the bed till he was 8. so i understand it a little better. but i still get fustrated. and i'm not even going to mention the sleep walking! lol....

all i can say is stay calm and keep it up with working on her, eventually she will come around.....

Oh my gosh, you just explained my 3 yr old!!! She has no interest in being a big girl. She is perfectly capable, but just doesn't want to. She wants to be a baby. I feel like I am beating my head against a brick wall!!!! I know I'm not much help with advice, but atleast I know I'm not alone!!!
My older daughter was potty trained by 2 1/2. This one I feel like will never get there!!!!
Hope things get better on your end!!!
T.