PottyTraining Help: Cloth Training Undies, Pull-ups, or Vinyl Covers?

Updated on October 15, 2008
H.W. asks from Jacksonville, FL
10 answers

Ok...my daughter, now 25 months was introduced the potty about 2 months ago. I would catch her disappearing into a corner to have a BM...so I started catching her and getting excited and saying "c'mon Savana, let's go poopy in the potty!" I would clap and get excited and together we would run to the potty. I would have to pull down her clothes and put her on the potty, but she would in fact go! For about a month she was going poop in the potty a couple times a week, and even going pee a few times as well. Right around her 2nd birthday she was still doing well....on the weekends she would go 2-3 times a day on the potty. My pediatrician suggested I buy the cotton training underwear made by Gerber...they are like regular panties, but they have more fabric in the crotch, sort of like a cloth diaper...this would reduce the amount of "leaks" on my floor. She suggested putting her in them in the evenings after school and we were home together (I work full time so she goes to daycare during the day-this is another reason why this process has been a little more difficult). I did try this a couple of times, but found that she would pee in them and would never even tell me that she went. She would just sit in the wet underwear! So, I thought that it was too soon, stopped, and went back to the pull-ups. Now, I have continued bringing her to the potty every evening before bed, on the weekends before and after nap, and in the mornings when she gets up. She goes pee about 60% of the time, and every time before bed she goes. I know that timing is so crucial with this, and don't want to mess it up by pressuring her before she is ready. I am worried that maybe she doesn't quite have the bladder control yet, and because she doesn't care if she sits in wet underwear, maybe it is truly too soon. Again, I know she just turned 2, so there is no rush, but if she is ready, I want to go with her, but if she isn't I don't want to force it either! And, if I should move ahead, any suggestions as to what worked for you with regards to attire: straight to underwear, training underwear, use the vinyl covers over the underwear or stick with pull-ups? Thanks!

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

Potty training is a process, and though many will tell you their child potty trained in a matter of days, it did not take them only days to get to that point. They not only need control of their bodies, with both urine and BM, but also need to recognize that "feeling" to be able to tell us they need to go, get their underpants off, wipe, wash, etc.
So if she doesn't care if she is wet in her underwear, it's too early to move her to cloth training pants or underwear IMO. You're only setting both yourselves up for disappointment.
Just have regular potty times every day an give her positive reinforcement for each step that she does. So she is continuing to build those other skills and not have any fear of the potty.
Diapers vs pullups is up to you. Just don't think she'll train in pullups because they really are just diapers. Most moms I know including myself, were not able to potty train without getting rid of them--kids are smart--if they know they can just go in their pants--they will! We used pullups during the day for convenience (much easier to change on kids that can stand) and diapers at night for the absorbency before moving him to underpants.
Try her periodically (every 2-3 months) in underpants (or training pants) and give her a couple of days--if she still doesn't realize or care if she is wet or dirty then, back off and try again. The vinyl covers are nice those first few days at helping save the couch--but just be prepared to clean up some messes....Like you said, you have time. I bet though that by 2 1/2 she'll be more than ready based on what you've said (and that she is a girl)
BTW we tried the underpants at 2 1/2 with my son and had no luck at all, but at 3, he was had 2 accidents the first day and only one the next (still wears the pulls ups for night though). He had never once told me in pullups that he had to go (in fact he would insist he didn't--but once he was in underpants and had a few accidents, he started telling us.

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T.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

Discuss your questions and potty training timeline with your daughter's nursery school staff. See what they are prepared to offer in the way of training during the school day. You ALL have to be on the same page and be consistent, otherwise you will continue to have mixed results.
They will probably want pullups initially... we did that (my DD is in daycare and almost 3 now). I'm a school teacher and since I have the summer off, I used that time to really move her from pullups to panties (but she was 2 yrs 8 months old at that point. A lot happens in the life of a little one in a few months!) Some people don't believe in the move from diapers to pullups to panties... We did it, it worked for us... and since you are in a similar situation with daycare, it is a transition that is more acceptable to meet your needs and daycare's schedule.
If DD is successful in dry pullups for a period of time, move to panties. Just make sure that daycare is going to follow up with regular potty breaks, etc... so that your DD doesn't slip backwards with her training!
Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Gainesville on

I think you instincts are correct that your daughter is still a little young for the full fledged training. I use pull ups with my 20 month old just for convenience sake. He, like your daughter, will pee and poop in the potty every time I put him there, but he has no idea yet how to "hold it" and doesn't tell me when he has to go. But, I still have him in pull ups becasue they are easier to get on and off than diapers and becasue his day care requested it as they are also having him use the potty at this stage. Although, I assume it will be many more months before we make the switch to underwear.

I used the cotton training pants with my (now) three year old, and they really didn't seem to me to absorb enough to be much different than regular underwear. I looked everywhere for the vinyl covers that are supposed to go over them but couldn't find them anywhere in Gainesville, so we just went with the pull ups beginning at about 24 months, but when it was time for the full-on brass tacks potty training (around 32 months) we ditched the pull ups, except for at night. Then at 35 months, when I was confident he had been staying dry all night for a few months, we got rid of them altogether and never looked back. A plus for me is that at my sons' day care they actually work to potty train the kids in conjunction with what the parents are doing at home. That was a big help for me.

Potty training can be a lengthy process, but keep up what you are doing and eventually when she is old enough, like Kelly said, she will make the connection and just "get it."

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hey H.- I think when she is home you just have to say every half hour, "Time to go potty" whether she thinks she has to or not. that will help her gain control. Also, try a reward system. I have a potty chart (there are many on line you can download and print out) Each time she uses the potty she gets a sticker. When the chart is full she gets a treat. A small toy from the dollar store, a trip to carvel, etc. Plus they love the stickers. Get special ones she will love, like if she is a Dora fan. It is essential that her school is contributing. Therefore, send her to school without diapers, they will HAVE to take her potty when her change of clothes gets used after the first accident. I think if she can do it for a day, she's ready. It takes diligence on your part and, if you are married, your husbands too. When she says pee pee is coming, drop EVERYTHING and run to the potty with her. Even if you're feeding the baby. Her potty training has to come before everything else in the beginning. My son is 90% there and the freedom is great, even though I too have a baby (4 month old girl) so the light at the end of the tunnel is not quite there, but.....almost. Good luck.

(Bear in mind with those that say she isnt ready and too young, the United States falls behind every other industrialized nation in potty training, most have there kids trained by 18 months. Some countries start kids training as soon as they can sit up on their own. So I don't buy it. We are the only country to wait until our children are over two and sometimes over three)

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K.M.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi H.,
I think you just answered your own question. She might not be really ready..... Believe me, I have a boy and girl who I also stuggled with and they were later on in age to fully do the potty thing. But believe me, when they are "READY" they just "get it" and your job is easier. I'm sure you have enough going on with a baby also. so relax..... she has the concept and it will come. When we started, we went straight to underwear. We cleaned up a few accidents but they soon got the idea of being wet. You just have to stay on top of them for the first few days with going then they get it. But wait a while she is young yet.
Hope that helps
K.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

if she's pooping consistantly in the toilet/potty then I would put her in cloth pants and let her get wet...I think going poop in the potty is a great start! now, if she'll sit in poopy pants, well then she might not be ready...

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E.C.

answers from Tallahassee on

I was advised by a mother of two on how to potty train. It worked so well with my daughter (now 5) and I intend to do the same when my infant is ready. Basically she said wait until they are 2 1/2 because they understand so much more then. Then say, "you are a big girl now and are going to wear big girl underwear now instead of diapers/pull-ups." Then put her in the underwear, take her to the potty every hour or so, and when she has an accident, just clean it and her up without a fuss. Lots of praise, obviously when she does go in the potty. Let her still wear pull ups at night. By the third day my daughter was almost completely toilet trained, and within a week she was getting up on her own at night to use the potty, instead of going in her pull up (which we completely did not expect). I admit that I am a teacher and she turned 2 1/2 in July when I was off from work, so that helped. The only set backs were 1. She did not like pooping in the potty at first (or in her pants) so she would hold it, and this caused constipation. She would do this even if we put a pull up on her and encouraged her to go in it. 2. Her daycare had no privacy (all the potties next to each other and she didn't want to go there. However, she didn't want to pee in her pants, or in a pull up. Therefore she would hold it all day, which was heartbreaking. We never put pressure on her, and she eventually got over those issues. Good luck!

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

She may not be ready. One of the key ways to know if they're ready is if SHE comes to YOU to say she has to go potty, not the other way around. She has to have bladder control and WANT to do it for it to work, especially with her being so young.

I am personally a cold turkey person. Once my kids were ready, it was no more diapers (except at night in bed until they were dry through the night). No diapers in day care, either. They need to understand that potty training means you are a big girl (or boy) so no more diapers. Putting them sometimes in dipaers sends the wrong message and they won't understand that they need to use the potty every time, not just sometimes. No diapers means no pull ups either. I think whoever invented them is rolling in cash and laughing his way to the bank every day. All they are is diapers with a less convenient way to put them on and off!! If I remember correctly, we used those thick white underpants you described but then put a cute character panty over it

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M.B.

answers from Tallahassee on

When my son was young, I was told to use cloth underwear (with vinyl if I needed to have him not leak). This worked well, because with pull-ups they don't feel the wetness and keep playing while wet. If your daughter doesn't mind the wet, then you have to train her to use the potty by having her go so often that she's never wet. Then when she is, it will be unusual for her.
I don't think you're pottying her as many times as she needs. Her little body may need to eliminate more often, and you need to get on her schedule. Maybe try doing it every couple of hours, and then reward her with a grape or something she likes, and much praise, whenever she actually does something. (Behavior modification is the best!)
After a while you should know how long it takes her to digest, and she will get the idea that pottying is a good thing.
Also, at 2 yrs old, she is physically able to control herself, at least the muscles are well enough developed. Make sure to signal disapproval when she eliminates without using the potty, she has to learn that it is undesired behavior.
Some people believe is spanking to signal disapproval, but I wouldn't advocate that until after age 3, when the child is definitely cognitively developed enough to realize what is expected. Unfortunately, though, at that time a small spanking does help to potty-train a 3 yr old pretty effectively. But I'm sure consistent positive reinforcement will work.
Just be mild and approving, and don't make it a power struggle, and be CONSISTENT. You should be able to ask the child care providers to continue the training you're doing at home, I don't see why not.

Now that I've been able to read the other responses, I agree that maybe every hour is good. The trick is to catch her doing it so that you can reward her. Also, signal disapproval very mildly, like "Oh too bad, we didn't make the potty this time. Maybe next time!" so it doesn't become a power struggle.

Also, a lot of time when people say 'the child is ready' they have waited until the child actually trains him/herself. Usually the child could have been pottying a lot earlier if effort had been taken. It is an option, and it is true that by age 4 or 5, every child will somehow manage to potty whatever the parents do. It's totally up to you how long you want to deal with diapers and pull-ups.

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M.L.

answers from Miami on

It is funny how different some of these responses are :) We used cloth diapers on both of our kids so naturally we progressed to cloth training pants. I used the ones with the vinyl with my daughter but stuck with the thicker crotch (gerber brand) with my son. My daughter was completely out of diapers by 22 months and my son just one week past 24 months. Whenever possible, I would keep them naked so it is easier to run to the potty. I used a potty chart from Child avenue and they got stickers for just sitting and trying. Then progressed to getting a sticker when they went potty. I am not an advocate of disposables so I have the same feelings against pull ups. For one, they are way too expensive at 43 cents a pair and since they are designed to pull away moisture, it defeats the purpose. You definitely need to get the daycare on board with this. It is much easier for them just to stick on a diaper then it is to deal with taking kids to the potty. Does she wake up dry in the morning or after nap? good luck

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