Potty Training Questions - South Hadley,MA

I really can't add any insight because my daughter will be 3 the 23rd and she still isn't potty trained. She doesn't tell me when she has to go. She will only go in her potty if she is naked. I let her run around bare bottomed and she will sit and pee (no poop yet), but give her a pullup or even undies and she pees in them. I am at wits end. I hope she potty trains soon. Its driving me nuts!!!

Well its been a long time (9 years) but my daughter was fully potty trained by 18 months so its not out of the question. I think a fully dry few nights is a good indication.I would say keep up the routine and she'll do great.It's so great to be out of diapers isn't it? I think the long road trips was the hardest for me..anyway good luck

Don't worry about pushing her. it sounds like you are going at her pace which is great. some kids also have set back and may start and stop because they get scared of the idea of growing up. my son is almost 3 and is just now starting. he showed interest when he was about 2 but then after a few days put up a fight so we stopped for a while.
My advice would be to continue what you are doing at home since she is responding well and talk to the daycare teachers to see what their technique is it may be different than yours and that is what she is reacting too. also sometimes different potties may be scarey. maybe going into the daycare batheroom with her and talking about the differences will help ease her conserns.
Also for the first few weeks i would expect many accidents. It could take up to a few months from my experience to get to the only nap and bed time accidents.

It sounds to me that you are doing things right so far. We had several starts and stops with potty around the same time. She would sit on it, but nothing would happen. We kept her in pullups until she was staying dry in them all day - except naptime. At 28 months, we decided to try underpants for a week. It was a disaster wash-wise... we gave her encouragement, and told her she would get it in her own time. She wanted to go back to pullups.

My daughter decided she didn't want to wear pull-ups any more around 30 months. We promised her she could wear big girl underpants if she stayed dry all day (which at this point she had been). We also had a book about using the potty that we read to her.

Like you did, she still wore her pullups at naptime. If they were dry after naptime, I didn't make a big deal about putting her underpants back on, she went potty and if she wanted to put them back on she could. I let her call the shots when it came to her potty training. We always praised her very using the potty, but never made her feel bad if she had an accident even in a pullup.

Her daycare had 3 toddler rooms and they could move up according to how they handled the potty (as well as other things)T2 started taking them to the bathroom in groups at regular intervals (and whenever they felt the need as individuals too) to get the kids used to going there and sitting on the potty. Potty training was big on the curriculum at this daycare. They don't pressure the kids, and I think they let the kids learn from each other.

By the time of her 3rd birthday she was in underpants all day and waking up dry in the mornings. Around this time the daycare also moved her to the preschool side. We had a couple of accidents due to her being to excited about being in the "big kids room". But she evened out. About month after her 3rd birthday we switched her underpants at night too.

I think you and she are on the right path to potty training. My least favorite part of it was taking her to public rest rooms, but those fold up potty seats are a life saver, I carried it in a bag with me everyehere. And Wipes, never leave home with out them. Get your daughter used to going out in public in pullups and that will help ease any anxiety for the switch to underpants. There was a time though, that I only shopped in stores with bathrooms.

I would say, from start to finish, it took 8 months (from 20 months to about 30 months old) for my daughter to stay dry and use the potty during the day. And about 6 months after that to switch to no pullups at night.

Good Luck!

My daughter will be 3 in March and just potty trained in December. When she was totally ready she just did it. She had 3 accidents the first day, 2 the second, and 2 the third. She's only had one or two since then and she goes everywhere except to bed in underwear. You're right not to push her, but if she's crying when she asks to go, maybe she's not emotionally ready, even if she may be developmentally.

I have a great trick that might help. It works best with a potty chair that has a white bowl in it. Put about a cup of water in the bowl. Then add a couple drops of red or blue food coloring to the water...then when you kiddo adds "yellow", it magically changes color! When they see that they tend to want to try to do it over again!

Good luck!
M.

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At my daughter's 18 month check-up (she is 6 now) our pediatrician suggested to put out her potty. She sporatically went on it for a week, then lost all interest. I kept it out and at 28 months she started asking to use it again after watching another friend (almost 3) go on the potty. It took about 2 weeks to fully train her...2-3 accidents per week. She had undies on during the day...pull-ups only at night for about 2-3 months. My almost 2 year old son does the same thing...goes on his potty here and there. Maybe this summer he'll be more interested. Good luck.

sorry--somehow I must have double clicked on send and can't seem to get rid of extra message!

sounds like you are doing everything right.. just keep encouraging her and maybe a sticker chart or something to keep the incentive going.. kids pt at their own pace, so there;s no rhyme or reason to it. good luck!

H.
We went through the same thing with our now 2.5yo daughter. Like yours she started showing an interest in the potty at 20 months so we went out and got her one. We brought it home she sat on it, got up, sat on it again and peed and pooped. Well we were elated but totally surprised. This all happened just a couple weeks after our second child was born and if you read all the parenting books, you are not really supposed to start potty training if there are other major life events for your toddler. I guess what I learned from all that was to go with the flow! She was totally potty trained by 2. Since she was so interested we totally let her take the lead. We started by letting her walk around with panties or barebottomed when we were home (am and pm) and put her in pullups for school. Unless she was very distracted she mostly told us when she needed to go. Then when she was not having accidents at home (which coincided with her having dry pullups at school- and going on the potty when it was bathroom time) she started wearing underwear all the time. They kept her in pullups for naptime and we had her in pullups for night but by the time she turned 2 she was not really wearing them anymore.
Since you seem to have as motivated a kid as us, just let her take the lead! If she has a lot of accidents one day or is crying when you put her on the potty, put the pullups on and don't make it a big thing. We never made an accident a big thing- she let us know when there was one and we would then put her on the potty to "finish".
Good luck!!
K.

H., Great questions! First, you re not the only one who wonders about these things. Good for you for letting her take the lead! Personally, I think pull-ups are just glorified diapers and my kids always treated them that way. If they had a pull-up on, they used it. Some people swear by them. Most day care providers I know think they slow the process. We did use them at night- my oldest didn't stay dry through the night 'til she was 5, but I didn't push it since she's a heavy sleeper. My youngest was 3.5 when she could make it through the night, it all depends on the kid. As far as duration- again it's all dependent on the kid and honestly, how diligent you are with making it happen. I wasn't in a huge hurry so my oldest would go on the potty for 6 months if she was naked, but if she had a shred of clothes on, she'd forget and have an accident. I finally "bribed" her with a Barbie- she really wanted one but I told her it was a big girl toy and as soon as she went on the potty w/ no more diapers she could have the Barbie. That was the last time she wore a diaper during the day!!! Obviously she was ready, maybe just a tad lazy! our day care will probably have a preferred method for training her there. I'm sure they have seen it all and tried it all!! I guess the important part is to let her know you're proud of her efforts and realize she is still young, so it may take a while! Good Luck!

My daughter (now 4 yars old) started showing interest in the potty around 18 months, so we went out and bought a potty seat and just let her go on her own time. She lost interest after a few weeks. And then right before she turned 3 she was interested again. We didn't force it, when she was excited about "big girl underwear" we got her some. We didn't get mad at her if she had an accident. Some people also used "prizes" for using the potty, M&M's, stickers, etc. Whatever your child likes. The best way I have found is to let them go at their own pace (unless you need to force the issue for schoool or daycare reasons). I have had a few friends who have forced the issue at 2 years of age and it took them a year of accidents to FINALLY have them trained. My daughter was trained in about 2 weeks. When you let them go at their own pace I have found that they do it when they WANT to do it and are READY to do it. Thus there are far less accidents, if any. Hope this helps! Good luck!

I think if she's interested in using the potty it's fine to let her, and fine to use pull-up diapers so that she can. However, it may be a little early to start having her wear - and get used to wearing - "real" cloth underwear, as I think a lot of children who seem to be potty-training before 3 almost always "regress" (i.e. stop using the potty and revert to diapers and resist potty-training for a long time) before they become truly potty-trained at a later age, usually closer to 4.

So the main reason why you may not want to have her get used to wearing cloth underwear is to save yourself a lot of hassle, and to save her discomfort and embarrassment, if and when she loses interest in the potty and suddenly begins to have frequent accidents. Also, if she cries at school when on the potty, it may be that she doesn't feel comfortable yet using it away from home and you. My sense is, sometimes toddlers experiment with or try out using the potty before they are actually fully ready to really potty-train, which tends to happen more naturally and successfully at 3-4. From what you describe, it sounds like she is somewhat interested in and able to use the potty, but maybe not 100% ready psychologically and developmentally to be fully potty-trained, if that makes sense. I'd say play it by ear and follow your instincts. It doesn't sound like you are being pushy, just trying to take your cues from her, which is the best you can do with a small child!

Hi H.-Unfortunately you just have to roll with it. My 4 year old was interested the same time your daughter is but it took about 6 months until she was fully trained and then when her sister was born she regressed for almost 3 months. My now 21 month old has just started going on the potty too. We are keeping her in diapers for now (can't deal with the accidents) but when she is interested we put her on. Most of the time she just wants to sit and play with the toilet paper or wipe herself-very fun for her-and not go at all but we still keep doing it. You just got to roll with it. I remember when my now 4 year old was training i was so excited i went out and bought big girl undies-she had been going on the potty successful for weeks-but once i made the decision for the big girl undies (not her! she didn't ask for them) she cried and refused to go on the potty. she had accidents all over the place. so...there is no real science other than what i've learned that you have to let them lead. it may take awhile but go with it. good luck-C. (mom of 4 year old and 21 month old girls).

Hi My son three year olds before I even tried because I was pregnant with number two and didn't want to add that to my plate. My son potty trained in 24 hours and had two accidents. My daughter is 3 1/2 and refuses everything about the potty. The only advice I can give you is your daughter will let you know when to switch to panties only. I would congratulate her when she uses the potty but not expect it. She is young but it is great that she is trying. If she is crying at daycare I would ask your daughter what she would like to wear to daycare for underpants because they may not do it the same as you and that may scare her then she will be afraid to potty train. Again the best advice I can give you follow the signs your daughter is giving. Good luck

When faced with criticism about pushing her (which it sounds like you are not) remember that when our parents were going through this, they were usually finished with training by 2. Kids today potty train much later, in my non-professional opinion, because the diapers are much more absorbent. They can't tell they are wet, so it doesn't bother them.
My son started pottying and pooping on the toilet at 18 months - no pressure from us and he still wore a diaper. We were able to do it with him because we knew is BM schedule and he was fine with it. The reason we did it was because we wanted him to be used to the toilet when it came down to serious training. At 2.5 we started with underwear. My daycare provider, who has been assisting in potty training for over 15 years, says it is normal for kids to have 5-6 accidents a day in the beginning. She also requested that we not use pull-ups b/c they are just a fancier diaper and kids still don't feel wetness. So, we used big boy underwear. It's been 4 months and he's still not fully trained, but he goes weeks without an accident -then will have a day where he has a couple.

Now that you have started, I would suggest continuing. Start her off with taking her to the potty every 30 minutes, then gradually increasing the amount of time between visits. It's a long journey, but you'll get there.

Good luck and keep your head up. Don't forget that generations of parents did this at 18-24 months before us.

The best advice I can think of is take one day at a time. Our daughter started potty training at 2 and did great...but then after about a month lost interest and we went back to diapers. Always reasuring her that whenever she was ready we would start again. Then we she was almost 3 she just started going to the potty again and asked me for big girl undies. She still has accidents at school during nap time but only once every few months. We still put a pull up on her at bed time even though she always wakes up dry.....I guess I'm just not ready for that yet. Best of luck.

Hanna - there is a line between pushing, encouraging and supporting! You and the day care facility have to be consistent. My son was 3.2 when he trained in one week. My daughter was 2.4 when she decided no more diapers. At that was it, she decided, not us, and we supported that decision. Kids don't come with instructions manuals (argh!) so you have to do what's right for you, your family and your child. I was so excited to stop the diapers! I had potties in every room, remindered her to go every hour, i didn't ask. Schedules or a routine works well - just like we are on. She saw all of us doing it so he wanted to be the same. My story about my son is hilarious (though at the time I was humiliated and angry!) We just moved from VA to MA, and decided to transition him from an in-home center to a full time day care center. But I had 1 week with neither. My neighbor offered to help us. Greatfully I accepted. When she asked if he were potty trained I replied "no". Her response was "Well, over th yeas I've found that it's the parents who are not ready for the commitment to make it work successfully, not the child. Give me all training pants, no diapers and he will be set in 1 week." And so he was! Good luck, don't get discuraged, there will be accidents, have 2 changes of clothes int he car for the first year, know where the bathrooms are in every place you go - it'll work. Good luck!