I have a almost 3 yr old son. We decided it was time to potty train. He is completely "Potty" trained, just not poop trained. He asks for a diaper when he wants to go poop, so I decided to put him on the potty every time he asked. I have a big bag of cars, and dinosaurs and treats for him to pick out when he goes poop. He can even hold whatever he wants when he is trying to poop. Well, he held it in 2 days, then it wouldn't stay in anymore. I put him on the potty and he flipped out. He was crying and screaming. So we put a diaper on, he pooped no problems. So we took the diaper to the potty and showed him the poop goes in the potty. I don't know what else to do. We even promised to take him to the Dinosaur Museum if he did go poop in the potty. He tells me "Its broken, its stuck" Any tips??
ETA: Okay, I am getting A LOT of responses telling me hes not "Ready". He is ready. I'm not just saying that in hopes he will start going poop. He tells me he wants to wear big boy underwear. He tells me when he needs to go pee. He tells me when he needs to poop. He just wants to poop in a diaper. I am not asking opinions, I'm asking for help. Tips. I asked him if he wants to start wearing diapers again and he told me no. He wants to wear big boy underwear. Remember, you all are only hearing part of the story, so don't be so quick to judge me for "pressuring him" or "making him" go in the potty. Sorry if this is harsh, I just needed to clarify.
Well, He hasn't had one accident since he/we started potty training. Just a couple nights ago he started pooping in the potty too! Thank you so much for the kind responses! I really appreciate them!
A pediatircian gave me this idea. Start with the diaper on a sitting on the potty, then cut a hole in the diaper so the poop goes automatically into the potty. Soon you wont need the diaper.
My son was doing the same thing and finally I had an idea to tell him the potty is hungry and he needs to feed him. So everytime he goes he says the potty is full and is his friend now. I know it sounds wierd but it worked! Good Luck
Hi K.. Potty training, especially boys, can be sooo frustrating - even more so when you know they know how and can do it but they just won't! My son did the same thing. We tried sticker charts, M&M's, bribing with a special toy. Nothing worked. I finally told him that if he pooped in his underwear he would have to clean it up. It took a little while but he just decided one day he was going to go in the potty. Hang in there, it WILL happen. K.
Mine did the same exact thing. I talked to his pediatrician and she said let it be he will poop in the potty when he is ready. He is now 7 and has no poop problems it just resolved itself. I took my doctors advice and when he needed to poop I asked if he wanted to use the potty or diaper one day he just went (I think he was about 3). We just stopped making an issue of it.
I would say ease up on the potty training, don't pressure or bribe him to use the potty. He will do it when he is ready, and clearly he is not ready now. There really isn't a time that is right or an age by which a kid should be totally potty trained, and they pretty much all are by kindergarten, so relax, ask him if he'd like to use the potty, but don't force the issue. He'll come around.
K., My sister had that problem with her son. She just left him in diapers till he was ready. With my daughter she was alot harder than my son. She just refused to go till she was almost 4. I think I just tried to soon. She just one day decided to take her diaper off and go by herself. Good Luck and don't push him. He will go at his own speed.
For some reason, pooping in the potty is a lot scarier to many kids than peeing. My daughter had the same problem - she peed all the time in the potty, but wouldn't poop. Then my grandma sat with her in the bathroom once when we knew she had to poop. They sang songs, read stories, did fingerplays (she was about 3 too) until she relaxed enough to allow the poop out. When she was done, grandma praised her a lot. We also let her see the poop and flush it herself (she said "I made a dinosaur" eeewww...but it worked). After that, I still had to read stories to her for a while. Probably longer than she really needed, but it was a comfort for her. This worked best because grandma was a favorite person - it probably wouldn't have worked if it was just me that first time.
Also, make sure he gets plenty of water. That can make it easier to pass stool. I wouldn't advise any 'stool softeners' (prune juice, miralax, etc) unless he seems to strain a lot when pooping in his diaper. But plenty of fiber in his diet wont hurt - just as a general dietary habit for overall lifelong help, besides making it easier to poop.
Hope this helps!
my poor sister had this issue with my neice... she was completely potty trained pee-wise, but would ask for a diaper to poop. she had bouts with constipation and withholding that only made things worse. however, they all srvived and now she's fine... it just took a while.
so she tried rewards... stickers, m&m's worked well (one for pee, two for poop). but after a time her daughter kind of decided the diaper was better than the reward. so my sis upped the fiber (veg & fruit) quantity in her daughter's diet (used stool softeners for peds on occassion)... to make sure nothing was too hard... and gave her a nice big slug of apple juice in the a.m. then took her for a short walk... and then just used diapers for a while (always asking if she wanted to poop in the potty first)... but with adding making it a big production of dumping the poop in the toilet and flushing it... saying things like "oh, the poop goes in the potty and then we flush it down... bye bye poop!" and each time saying "next time you can poop right in here" her daughter really preferred using the "big" potty and loved flushing it... and of course it was cause for much celebration when she finally started using the potty on regular basis voluntarily.
they make some great little smaller rings that fit in the toilet seat (so it fits them better)... maybe he'd prefer that to the actual potty seat.
also, you might want to have him uhm, observe dad in the bathroom.. you know, settle down, bring a book (newspaper)? kind of gross, but you know, show him that it can be a pleasant, kind of guy thing to do. my friend's little boy likes to sit on his potty while his dad does his thing... they read books and just hang out.. chat... kind of weird, they spend 10-15 mins in there... but he'd potty trained. so what can you do?
good luck!
If he's saying something like it's broken, it's stuck, then that means that he had a painful poop sometime while you were potty training him and that created a severe negative reaction. That happened to my sister when she was little...she had eaten nuts and when they came out, it was painful. She'd ask my mom for a diaper every time she had to poop. My mom always gave her a diaper, with no reprimands and let her do what she needed to do. My mom didn't know why, but she recognized the strong aversion and didn't want to push the issue further upsetting her. A short while later, my sister went to a friend's house and had to go, and not wanting to look like a baby and ask for a diaper, she went in the potty and had no problems, and was potty trained ever since.
It's possible you may be able to talk to your son about it and try to explain what happened, and see if he'll give it another go if you're really understanding but with no pressure. You can also have him around other kids and eventually he'll want to go like a big kid and try it again.
It's one of those funny things you don't ever expect, but can have a huge impact on the kids. My sister still remembers her issue in detail, but was too little to understand it fully at the time. Good luck!
My son is 3 1/2 and we just finally got him completely potty trained. He had the same issues. I was very frustrated but I realized it was easier to change a diaper than dirty underwear. He couldn't go in the big potty, even with a small seat and stool. We got a small potty so he can sit comfortably and his feet can touch the ground. He doesn't have to worry about holding on or falling off. At first he still had problems and said similar things as your son and he would hold it too. It took 2 weeks to get him to go in the small potty. He would sit in the bathroom but he couldn't go. I just kept encouraging him and he finally figured it out. He also got to the point that he didn't want to wear diapers, they were for his baby sister. I tried potty training him a couple times before and it didn't work I had to back off and try again. He will now sit on the potty seat on the toilet and use a stool. It just took some steps to get him there. Good luck.
I also bought him a horse he wanted and put it on the back of the toilet and told him that he could have it when he only wore underwear. I bought two smaller horses and put them in the cupboard and told him when he pooped he could choose one. At first this didn't help but once he figured out how to poop in the potty, it was a good incentive.
I am going thru the exact same thing w/ my son who is 26 months. I don't want him getting constipated, and this has happened in the past...Good luck!
S.
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I agree with the other response you got. Have you asked your son what he is afraid of or if he is sad/mad/scared to see his poop go. I read once that they might think a part of themselves is being flushed away and that can be disturbing. Trying to explain to them that it is just like the food going in, but coming out the other way might help. My friend had a similar problem, but it lasted until he was over 4 years old. They finally got a suggestion from their pediatrician and it worked...when he poops in his diaper, they put him in the bathtub and make him wipe himself instead of doing it for him. He was "cured" in a matter of days. It was amazing! Good Luck!
Put a diaper inside a small potty and let your son "go" on the diaper. I did that with my son and it helped him relieve himself much easier. I folded the diaper so that the inside was the part he sort of sat on.
I"ve been there before. Keep up the great work your doing, hopefully he will get it soon. My daughter was 3 1/2 and was great with going potty accept for the poop and would hold it all day until bed time. Then when the pull ups went on she would poop and then try to clean it up herself, it was pretty gross. So finally one night we told her that we were out of pull ups and she would have to be a big girl and wear her panties all the time. She had a few accidents but soon started using the potty for everything. Plus we had her night time trained within a couple of weeks. Good luck.
I don't know if you are already doing this, but putting a stool down for his feet to rest on or having a small potty for him. It is very difficult to go poopie with your feet dangling in the air. Seriously try picking up your feet and pooping. Just a thought.
My mom had a great idea when I was potty training my little girl. She said to put a raggity towel on the seat. Just let it touch their bottom. She thinks some kids sit on the toilet and just feel this big open space where they used to have something warm and next to their skin. Washing a towel is less expensive than a diaper and as time goes you can slowly lower it more and more down towards the water. This helps with any splash, too.
Maybe try poop training on a smaller potty, it is gross and not fun to have to clean but on a big potty some kids have phobias, not sure why. I used fun potty seats that fit on the toilet that helped my kids feel secure and they loved getting "blues clues" out to put on the big potty to go.
I have heard a lot of kids training have issues with the big potty. The bad thing is when you get them used to a small potty that it can be a hard habit to break and obviously causes issues when out in public. Maybe have him go in with you when you or your husband sit on the potty so he sees it is safe. Then things like waving bye bye to the poopy (gross but seems to work).
Encourage him on what a big boy he is and showing his little sister how to poopy on the potty too.
Ask him what is broken and what is stuck??? Then show him the inside of the tank, explain how a potty works and so on. Sometimes educating them on their fears helps.
I suggest though a potty chair if he is freaked by the big potty for now though and slowly transition. Do not give him a diaper to poop in though....if he knows he has to go he is so close to being done with traning, just get him a smaller seat, a cool cushy cover for the big potty or something fun to encourage him to go without a diaper. Even telling him "no more diapers, they are all gone"...good luck, it is very normal for kids to be afraid.
K.,
We had a friend whose son did the same thing -- from age 3-4. You might just have to ride it out -- Our friend's son wanted the diaper and she put one on and then changed it -- it was easier than changing underwear and cleaning it up. He was scared of pooping on the potty - but eventually, he too got tired of pooping in "baby diapers" and switched over nite.
I am right there with you! My almost 2.5 yr old does the same thing. She tells me she will use the potty someday but, she is scared to poop in it. We have stopped making it an issue. I wish it was easier. Just this week she has wanted to sit on the potty and pass gas...maybe a step closer? She thinks it is funny since it echoes in the potty. My mother always told me that potty training is one of the hardest thing you will ever have to do with kids. Take a deep breath...this too will pass!
My cousin went through this and she said that she just allowed her little boy to poop in the diaper when he asked to and they would do the same thing, put it in the toilet and told him that that was were the poop went. It took a few months, but he eventually went to the potty on his own to poop. If he is that terrified of going on the potty, don't force him, it's just not that big of a deal. he'll do it when he's ready, and when he does, he'll have a fun trip to the dinasour museum!
My son went through this same cycle of potty training just a couple months ago. Since it was frankly easier for me to let him poop in a diaper, I just obliged whenever he wanted to poop in the diaper - after all he was doing a great job of listening to his body and knowing when he needed to poop, and this is a very important step. After a very short time, he started poopin in his little potty. I think I told him he could earn three cents by putting his poop in the potty. Then it got to the point where I would offer him five cents to poop in the big potty. He now is totally potty trained, and it took very little effort on my part. He went from diapers to fully potty trained between June and August.
Lots of kids don't feel safe on the potty - little or big - so don't push it or you might set yourself back. Try going with the diaper for awhile and praising him for listening to his body and getting his poop out in an appropriate place (the diaper is appropriate, as he is not going in his pants). Good luck!
Why are you fighting him on this? He clearly knows when he needs to go, and is very conscientiously asking you to help him go to the bathroom. Hand him a diaper and be done with it. He knows what he is supposed to be doing; going poop in the toilet. He's just not ready to. He's not even three years old and most boys don't train until closer to three and a half. Pat yourself, and him, on the back for getting this far and now step back, give him some room to grow and mature and in a couple months he'll start going poop in the potty too. Its not worth the stress to cajole, fret, bribe, get angry or jump through hoops.
My daugther had anxiety about pooping in the toilet as well. Some days she would others she would hold it in as long as possible and then cry and cry when I put her on the potty. She would then go in the pull up. My neice would only poop in the diaper for about 6 months. What I did and my sister in law is just kept encouraging going in the potty and rewarding pooping in the potty. I also would say if you want to go in the diaper that is fine, but pooping in the potty is easier and cooler. I would make a big deal about it. Eventually, after a couple of months she poops and pees in the potty with no problems. Good luck!
Hang in there, he will eventually go poop on the potty. My youngest son did exactly the same thing when he was three. I don't know if the potty scared him and I am not sure why he could pee on it, but not poop. He would hold it for days before he would go. I took him to the pediatrician to see if there was something we could do, but she said it was just his way of being in control of something. We used to sit with him for an hour or more while he sat on the potty trying not to poop. We did that consistently and he finally realized it was not so bad. You are doing everything right with the little rewards, just stay persistent and eventually he will decide on his own that it is ok to go on the potty.
My daughter did the same thing at the same age. We did the same things you are doing and none of it worked. She would ask for a diaper, and when we said no, she would go hide and poop in her underwear. She would even take the poopy underwear and dump the poop in the toilet and put the underwear in the laundry. I also insisted that she was ready, and she just wasn't pooping in the potty. I finally got so frustrated that I gave up on the rewards, the potty "training" (poop-training, really) and just had her wear pull ups, or had her clean her own mess when she pooped in her underwear somewhere. Then she had some constipation issues and holding it in issues, and after a few months, she finally decided it wasn't worth changing her clothes every day and cleaning up the messes and started to go in the potty. Not consistently at first, but eventually she got it down. When I was going through this, I discovered from a lot of different sources that this problem is not uncommon and that a lot of kids resist the pooping on the potty thing. I know this post probably offered no useful information other than that you're not the only one! Sorry. But nothing I tried changed anything. I just had to wait for my daughter to choose to do it on her own. And I know what you mean about people not having the whole story and being quick to judge here. Don't even get me started on that... Good luck with the potty training though. I know exactly what you're going through and how frustrating it is. Hopefully he passes this stage soon!
