I am asking for my sister-in-law. She has a 2yr old boy that won't poop in the toilet. she has tried the underwear only thing and he refuses to go. she has let him scream for about 1 hour cause he had to go and she wasn't going to give in and put a pull-up on him cause that would mean that he got his way.she finally gave in to him and he went potty and stopped screaming. she has tried the getting an reward for going potty. she has tried many different bribes and he still won't go. any advise will be great!
Its his body, and he's controlling it. If he won't poop in a potty he's asserting control over his own body. And kudos to him. The last thing she wants to do is get into a battle of the wills over something she will never win.
Drop the subject altogether. He won't go to college wearing Depends or Huggies. He will however use the potty full time when, and only when, he is physically, emotionally and mentally ready.
Good Luck.
My friend, when potty training, would give her boys a cool/cold bath (to clean them up) if they had an accident. This made them not want to have an accident just so they woulnd't have a cold bath.
I had this exact same issue with my daughter when she was 2 1/2. Our pediatrician said not to worry about it, so I'd just give her a diaper whenever she needed to poop. One day she was sitting on the toilet and she yelled "Mommy! I pooped in the potty!!" And she's done it every time ever since.
1-make sure he's not constipated. lots of drinks/popcycles. my kids love eating dried plumbs (prunes). Pineapple or apple juice is also good.
2-This is what I did with my boy. It's kinda icky, but it's tons better than cleaning up poop.
Boy sits on potty. Boy pees.
Mom: ! You made bubbles, good job :)
Boy: Look, Mom, bubbles!
Mom: Can you make a poopy too? go like this [grunts]
Boy grunts (with or without pushing out his poop)
Mom: Oh! I think I can see it! Is it coming?
Boy pushes a bit
Mom: I can see it!
Boy pushes it all the way
Mom: Oh! it splashed! hehe. Did your body make any more poopies?
----etc
Then when he's all done, I wipe his butt. I always tell him how much easier it is to wipe poop when you go in the potty...and how hard it is to wipe it off when you go poop in your underwear or in a baby diaper.
Then, Mom: Ok. I'm done - let's say g'bye to your poopie.
Boy flushes.
Boy and Mom (in silly, deep voice): Bye, Bye poopie!!
It really helps him a ton for me to watch for his poop and tell him when I can see it...and when I can't see it anymore.
If that hadn't worked, I would've given him the choice of wearing a diaper or going poop in the potty. No one stays in diapers forever. He'll get it soon.
Hi J.!
I have two boys (and one girl)and remember this issue well. Pooping in the potty is a huge deal for kids. It's normal for them to be able to pee in the potty but not want to poop. I definitely would not push the issue, or he could start holding onto his stool and that will lead to other bigger, uglier problems. Most pediatricians don't even recommend starting potty training until boys are about 2-1/2 yrs. old, so it's not like he's behind. I'd say be patient, don't make a big deal of him going in his pull-ups, and continue to encourage pooping in the potty. Although this may sound gross, she could even try showing him her poop and letting him flush it. The things we do for our kids! LOL!
Some kids hate the way it feels when they poop on a potty, it's like something is falling out of their bodies. I had a similar problem with my know six year old, his was a fear cause he got constipated right around the time he was potty trained and he linked the potty to pain when pooping, so I would have to put a diaper on him. I just one day decided that enough was enough and didn't put a diaper on him it was a rough 2 days, but after that he never went back. If he is having no other problems and is aware of the situation and his bodies needs then I tell your SIL to dig in her heals and not give in, he will eventually go, and if he does it in his underware then have him help clean it up, that gets real old real fast for little ones. Good luck!
Just a suggestion, maybe he has a hard time going poop when he is sitting down. Many children find it easier to do when standing up. I had the same problem with my son and had a doctor suggest that I put a foot stool in the bathroom so he could prop his feet on it and this made it much easier for his to go. Also when he does go poop in his underware make him help clean it up and then he will understand how gross it is. When he does go in the toilet make a big deal out of it about how excited everyone is, let him call and tell others so they can tell them how excited they are as well. Good luck and hope this helps.
Sounds like he's not quite ready. But maybe he is any just worried about his poop like the other person suggested. There are books at libraries that talk about where it goes to help kids.
K.
I have said this advice before. It may sound mean, but it worked for my daughter. Put underware on your nephew and let him poop in his big boy underware. If he poop in the underware make him sit in it he will hate the feeling and maybe he will go to the potty. It worked on my daughter. When she pooped in her underware I made her sit in the poop. And from that point on she was potty trained
2 1/2 is still pretty young, even though I'm sure she's SO tired of diapers. My 3 yr old daughter is just now potty training, pooh was the hardest part but we are getting there. If he's not ready, he's not ready. And forcing him too is just going to make things harder for both of them. He will get there, she just needs to be patient. The fact that he knows he has to poo and is asking for a diaper is a great sign. We talked about poo alot off and on but with NO pressure, how we were so excited that she would soon be pooing in the potty, how we didn't like changing poo diapers, how she was such a big girl and we were so happy. It took a few months but she is now there.
We had the same problem...It took 18 months to train our daughter for the same reason! My husband is a pharmacist and finally purchased a children's suppository. She simply didn't know how to go in the potty, so we kind of forced the issue. It's taken about 2 months, but after using the suppository a couple of times, she figured it out and then it was just a matter of remembering. Good luck!
See if you/your sis can get your hands on a copy of See Inside Your Body by Katie Daynes. It goes through the science of what poop is, boys tend to be more interested in how things work and once they understand that they process it better. A lady I work with has used this book with her 4 boys. We sell kids books--I had never thought of this book that way before but she loves showing it to people for the purpose of potty training..."especially boys" as she put it. She should be able to find a copy at the libray. If not, you can find them online (my site is www.celestsbooks.com, but I do know right now they are cheaper at Amazon lol)
I had one son who did this and I was at my wit's end. I never put diapers or pull-ups back on him, he would just go in his underwear and it was driving me crazy! One time I happened to figure out that he just wanted privacy. As soon as I left him alone in the bathroom, the problem resolved itself! Good luck to your sister-in-law.
Sometimes we stress over things that will happen in thier own natural course, and turn it into a power struggle. Our kids pick up on our anxiety but don't get it, so they resist us! just watch for his own signs of being ready and keep yourself neutral. My poor first child has had all those great forced milestones, but hey he's 11 and potty trained and lost his baby teeth and learned to walk and eat's by himself and plays nicely with friends! and I wasted alot of energy on worrying and stressing about all those things. My point is, it will come, don't let yourself get to overanxious, because it actually comes really quickly
Boys potty train on their own terms. The more pressure she applies, the more he will fight it and even regress. Don't get into a power struggle with something you can't control. Of course he wins because he does have control. Don't sweat the small stuff --- and it's all small stuff. My son didn't potty train until 3. Give it time.
I have a good friend who is going through the same thing with her son. She gives him 'miralax' (an over the counter stool softener) and she has a little portable DVD player that she sets up near the toilet so she can pop in a movie and get him to sit for an extended period of time. If he's completely afraid of going on the toilet- discouraging him to go in his pull-ups might turn into constipation problems... try not to show your frustration... it would be different if he had been going poop on the potty for a while and then simply decided to start going in his pants again. But I agree with everyone else, they all do it eventually. This too shall pass!
Oh my goodness, if this doesn't sound like my son. I am the mother of 4, 1 girl 3 boys. My 3rd son is 2 1/2 and would not poop in the potty for the life of me. I tried everything, from rewards, to spanking his bottom (not hard of course), to letting him see me and his brothers or dad go. He was so afraid he would hide when he had to go, under the kitchen table, behind the sofa in the den, in the pantry with the door closed! Ugh. Finally one day, I had to run a few errands and did not anticipate being out for more than an hour, so I did not bring any pull ups or wipes along. We were in the store when of course he went poo poo. I told him how nasty that was, and asked why he didn't say he had to go? I kept saying oww your stinky, etc... He had to sit in it for 30 minutes,and that included getting in and out of the car 3x. I know it sounds really gross, but after that, he has had only one accident in 3 weeks.
First thought... drop the entire subject all together. She won't win this battle. Kids are ready when the are ready and definitely not when we as parents are ready. He's only 2 1/2. My son did not potty train until 3 and it was on his own terms. When her child shows interest again she can bring it up, but I would never suggest leaving the child on the potty as punishment. But really, I am a firm believer in .. when the child is ready he will. There may be other issues but it's too early for that..
She might try a different potty, but again for now I'd drop the subject entirely. Leave the potty out but don't mention it or discuss it.
Good luck
My kids (I have four of them) wouldn't poop in the toilet until they were between three and four years old, even though they were completely comfortable using the diaper to pee. Each child poops in the toilet when they are ready, and with loving support, this time will come sooner rather than later. What delays it is the constant pressure to do it when they don't feel ready. Relax and let him set his own time table.
I have heard of cutting out the back of the pull-up and then putting them on the toilet to poop. I'm guessing this only works if your little guy poops while sitting. Good Luck!
