Potty Training - New Milford, NY

Updated on August 08, 2009
J.Z. asks from New Milford, NY
11 answers

My son just turned 3 years old in May 2009. I have been trying to potty train him for about 1 month and a half (on and off). I am very frustrated and don't know what else to do to help him. I offer him M&Ms if he goes potty, but lately I have to offer him an M& M just to get him to agree to sit on the potty. I give him books and even a portable DVD player to keep him entertained on the potty, but it seems he waits until I allow him off the potty to go to the bathroom. I am off for the summer and go back to work in Sept and I would really like him to be trained by Sept, but that doesn't seem to be realistic. Any advice. what can I do?

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for all your advice. I really appreciate it and I love this site! My son is not potty trained, but we had some success today! I noticed he was doing the pee-pee dance and grabbing his underwear. So I said "hurry! Hurry! and we ran to the bathroom. I had to pull down his pants and he just stood there so I pushed him down on the seat. He got back up and seemed afraid and i said "its ok, hurry sit back down" and I gave him a little push back down. Just as he sat down it started to come out. He watched in amazement. I said, "you're doing it buddy! You see, you're doing it!" He had a huge smile on his face. When he was done, we BOTH jumped up and down and I said "you did it" and he said "I did it!!!". There was pee-pee on the floor and on his hands, but we cleaned up and we called his grandma and grandpa and his daddy. he was so excited. and so was I. I Hope he does a little better from now on, but I'm prepared for more accidents as he's still learning. I'll keep you updated. Thanks for your help.

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J.H.

answers from Utica on

I have potty trained two boys so far and it is super difficult. I caught soooo much slack from my mother-in-law because she said her boys were trained by one (YEAH RIGHT!!!). I don't believe her. Anyways, I tried everthing and the more I pushed the more they dug thier heels. Finally I just gave up pushing and relaxed a bit and around 3 1/2 it just happened. I started at 2. I know it doesn't help much but it WILL happen, when they are ready. I also have a 3 month old boy that I just can't wait to potty train...NOT!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Hi Jocelyn,
I was in your shoes last year. The day my son turned 3 I sent in a request also and got great response from these great moms. Then one magical day his father took him in the bathroom and they peed on the toilet together. The potty chair lasted about 2 weeks but because my son is very tall he uses the toilet. Now he still won't poop on the toilet he asks for a diaper. We put on a pull up and he goes in that. My point is with a little coaching your son will go on the potty. They all do eventually. Mine will be 4 late November. Don't stress yourself out. We have enough to worry about. Best of luck!!! D.

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J.L.

answers from Binghamton on

Jocelyn,
You didn't mention if he is aware of the fact that he has to go. Does he come to you witha a wet diaper and ask to be changed? Does he squat down or stop playing to poop? If he does he knows what is happening and is old enough to train. I do believe you need to give them some control of this. My 3rd girl (triplets) was 3 years old and dthe only one still in diapers. I stopped buying diapers and put her in thin underpants (with plastic pants over them to keep the wet mess in). After wetting, she did not like the feel. When she asked for clean pants I said, "No you are only going to wet them again." After crying for 5 min...(just enought to make her uncomfortable) I gave her another chance, reminding her that she would wear them wet if that is what she choose. She was trained in a day. BUT I need to clarify that she was ready and well aware of how to control...if your son is not aware of his bathroom habits...this is just cruel. J.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Do you give him M&M's to sit in his car seat? at the table for meals? Why are you bribing him to sit on the potty? Tell him hes to sit for 3 minutes because you said so. Do this every hour. He knows what you want, but is becoming independent and realizes he can control you over the potty issue. This and food are great ways for 3's to learn how to control their parents. Which is one reason all my kids were trained before they were 2 1/2. 2's are so much easier to train, but its to late now. I know other moms are going to suggest more bribes, but simply telling him what you want and making him sit for 3 minutes will get him to comply, because he will get tired of stopping his play to sit when he doesnt have to. Also when he goes in his training pants or diaper dont get angry, but dont be very gentle cleaning him up. My almost 3 grand daughter is completely peepee trained, but likes to poop in her pants. I had her for 2 weeks and when she pooped in her pants I scrubbed her butt enough to be uncomfortable without hurting her. She said OUCH and I said, sorry, but the poop belongs in the toilet.

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A.E.

answers from Utica on

My son is about the same age as yours, also 3 in May 09. I was training him inconsistently too, which was probably not helping. I bought him underwear last week, but mostly, I've been letting him go bottomless while we're home. He'll start to "dribble" a bit then make a shocked noise, and I say "go to the potty!" and he runs right in there, pees, looks at it and gets all excited. Sure we have lots of accidents, but we're having lots more successes than ever. Yesterday he even asked to go to the potty himself as we were coming in from outside, got to the potty, and went in the potty! I never would have believed this could work, but I've heard of lots of people doing it so I said, "why not?"
We still use a pull-up for sleeping because I'm not cleaning sheets everyday. One step at a time. Good luck. Oh and I started using his favorite TV show as an incentive, too. Curious George--he watched it all the time, but now when he asks I say you have to use the potty to watch George. I don't know if that made a difference, but he got to watch it several times yesterday!

Oh yeah, and don't be a tyrant about it like someone else is suggesting. Each child develops at his own pace. You just have to find what works for yours like I did. Making it an unpleasant experience is only going to prolong the process and make kids way more reluctant, if not scared.

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C.K.

answers from New York on

Hi Jocelyn
AFter going through 2 boys potty training the exact same way, I now think that there is no such thing as potty training them. They absolutely do it when they are ready and not one day before. There is nothing you can or should do (except talk to them about going on the potty sometimes, just to get it in their heads). My second one didn't start going on the potty until he was 3 years and 7 months old (my older one was 3 years, 3 months)--never any accidents, dry at night--it's amazing, they just go when they are ready. Never did any incentives or prizes or anything like that. Just be patient and don't pressure them, it will happen--but on their schedule, not necessarily yours. He'll figure it out even if you are back at work, and it won't be any extra work or time for you because, again, he'll just do it.
C.

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M.L.

answers from New York on

I potty trained my almost three year old last week. It was our third try.

It took two days. I closed all the blinds, took off all her clothes...and it worked. The previous attempts, I had left her in a shirt or dress...and she'd forgotten she didn't have a diaper on.

We've got hardwood floors, so clean up wasn't a HUGE issue. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful! She got 5 jrlly beans for peeing in the potty or keeping her diaper dry after a nap, and chocolate (her FAVE) for pooping in the potty.

I don't know if that is helpful...it's just what worked for me. Putting her on the toilet at regular intervals DIDN'T work. She's like me - she HATES to be told what to do.

The turning point, I think, was when she had an accident on her bed during a time out and couldn't sleep on her favorite "butterfly" sheets that night. SHE decided it was worth it.

Good luck!!

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A.P.

answers from New York on

I've been training my son for 8 months and what finally worked was taking him to Chuck E Cheese, and then promising to take him back once he filled a potty chart (they have one on their web site - one sticker for each accident-free day - 14 stickers total.
Don't get too frustrated though - A friend of mine has a 4-1/2 year old who went to a urologist and had an ultrasound that showed that the nerve that is supposed to relax his bladder is immature. (This nerve is supposed to develop sometime around 2 or 3 – which is why we wait to train until that age.) Because his is immature, his bladder is always contracted and, as result, has spasms (which he can’t control) and they cause the accident. Untreated, it will eventually mature. But because it is interfering with school, the doctor put him on medication for 6 weeks.
Good luck to you. Potty training is the most frustrating thing ever :)

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J.O.

answers from New York on

Our daughters were so easy to potty train! But our son (now 4) was a bigger challenge. Try the "Sink the Cheerios" game. Get a step-stool for him to stand on, throw a few Cheerios in the potty, and have him try and sink them. Then it's less about time away from activity, and more of a fun activity in itself. My son used to tell me it was "Cheerio time". Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Syracuse on

My Son's trained themselves. My oldest was 3 years and 2 weeks old. I sent him to school for the first time then (a nursery school). He saw other kids his age there with no pull up on and just decided he wanted to be like them. He still had to wear a pull up at night until he was almost 6, he is 8 now and pull up and accident free. My other son trained himself when he was not quite three. He decided to go on the potty one day and we never looked back. He was pull up free 6 months later even at night. My daughter who is 4 just stopped wearing a pull up at night around Christmas time this year but trained herself when she was 3. And my 27 month old daughter is training herself right now. She tells me when she has to go. She is still in a diaper though because I am not running around cleaning up messes all day and we are constantly on the move. I don't want her feeling bad because she had an accident and then not wanting to try any more. I did it all of their own time. When they were ready they just did it on their own. There was no stress involved and no one regressed.
Now if someone could just tell me how to get them all to get along!! lol

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J.C.

answers from Sarasota on

you need to stick with it. Try to find a kid around his age that he plays with or a kid a little older that he looks up to and show that they use the potty. You might even have to leave him on the toilet until he goes. Some kids take a little while longer because they still want to be a baby. You can also sit him on the toliet right before you do something fun and say that you can't do it until he goes to the potty in the toliet. stick to one thing for awhile and then if that doesn't work move on to something else sometmes it takes them awhile. Good luck!

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