Potty-traing a 3 Year Old

My daughter went through the same thing when we first decided to officially train her. On the first day, the only time she want to the bathroom was at about 6pm. It wasn't fun and we were out but she actually went in the potty. Each day after that, she slowly began to go more often. We had a few accidents but I say, just go for it. Keep at it and good luck.

though he might get consitpated for a bit, he will get back to normal once he gets over the whole potty training thing. I've never once heard of a young person, teenager, or adult with bowel problems caused from potty training. Stop fretting. He will be fine.

On Monday, the Today show had a special on Potty Training Boot Camp. You can go online and watch the segment. It may give you some good ideas.

Sounds like you're on the right track. My doc said to be committed, nekkie bum and all, and NO DIAPERS EVER AGAIN! Even when you go out. DO NOT use pull ups! They do not teach your child to read their bodies, they're just diapers without tabs. Diaper companies are invested in keeping your kids in diapers for as long as possible. Don't believe the myth that kids need to wait until 3 or 4 to START training. I know plenty of people who trained their children, boys in fact, as young as 15 months old.

As far as the holding it in, try to give lots of fluids so that he has lots of opportunities to HAVE to go pee. They will also help with constipation. The whisperer suggests sugary drinks though try regular water first to see if that helps. You just gotta be committed to it. If you don't see improvement in a week or so or it gets worse, stop for a couple of weeks and try again then. You are doing fine!

K. - mom of a super 18 month old boy who's been using the potty since he was 5 months old - really!

Hi C., It sounds like you're doing everything appropriate. I hav 2 boys -1 8yo & 1 5yo & a 2yo girl. My girl was the quickest to be potty trained. They do say girls are faster. Both boys were potty trained at about 3.5 yrs old. Just continue to be consistent and place him on potty after drinking,breakfast etc. If he doesn't want to go try not to force him. He will surprise you one day & just go to the potty when he's ready. If he does go the potty make a huge deal and clap your hands and cheer him on! It will happen before you know it.

Good luck and take Care!

C.

yes, he can hold it and get constipated. That happened with my son. I used an insert only once and that was the end of that. With another boy I gave him notice that in one week he had to change his own self if he pooped in his pants. I t happened, and I followed through and he's never had an accident since then. he was also 3.

Do not give up! Boys are so hard to potty train. Here is what really worked fast for me. I placed the potty in front of the TV and had them run with a naked butt.I filled a clear jar with little candies like m&ms, candy corn, kissables,and set it on top of the TV so they could see it but not reach. I also purchased little stickers from the dollar store. At first one of my boys (twins) would not sit down, but I placed him on the potty and sat with him holding his legs down. He screamed for a little bit, but when he went, I jumped up so happy you would have thought I hit Lotto! I clapped gave him a sticker AND 1 piece of candy...that booger went right back to the potty and sat down again! When he went poop, I gave him another sticker and 2 pieces of candy.I gave a piece of candy and sticker even if it was just a little bit. Those boys were proud and covered with stickers by bedtime. They also had about 20 pieces of candy their first day!They were potty trained within 2 weeks. I then placed one potty in the bathroom and one in the living room. Now we are in the bathroom.
You can do it mom!

M.

I just potty trained our almost 3-year old boy, and felt he was ready months ago, when I made a 2-day attempt and quit. This time, I started it using a book called "Toilet Training in Less than a Day" and after reading it, decided to do it and never look back! If you keep wavering and thinking you might go back to diapers (or use pull-ups, which make accidents "no big deal,") then the child will get confused and not really take the new system of pottying in the toilet seriously.
Our society, in my opinion, leans too far toward "let the kid decide when he's ready"- very child-centered. What about you, the parent, having to change his diapers and buy or wash them? I think the parent, once she determines that the child shows the ready signs (which are listed in the book I mentioned), should be the one to decide when to potty train. Not a 3 or 4 year old. Some kids would just never get interested and therefore be in diapers until age 4 or 5!
Some of the tips I'll mention here are from the book.
Keep at it- don't look back, train your child in each step of pottying, and even use a doll and have your son teach the doll steps of using the potty (part of the method from the book). When a child teaches another, learning usually happens easier. Also, don't be afraid of accidents- there will be some. Don't get mad at the child, but do express disapproval. "Uh oh, you wet your pants. Do big boys wet their pants?" "No" "That's right, and are you a big boy?" "Yes" "That's right! So where do you go potty?" "In the toilet" "Yes! You are a big boy so now you go in the potty. We don't go pee-pee in our pants. I love you, but we don't like wet pants do we?"
That way, the child understands the seriousness of an accident, but actually knows that it's not a good thing. It can be positive, but you can still communicate your concern for his cleanliness and the importance of staying dry.
Oh, and that's the other thing- reward for staying dry, and have "dry pants checks" every 15 min. or less at the beginning, longer intervals as he can hold it longer- or you'll have a kid going potty every 15 minutes just to get a treat instead of holding it for hours!
The first two or three days we had multiple accicents, and just a few days into using this method, we had accidents very rarely and he started to get the concept of going #2 in the potty (which was another little hurdle for us). He also started being able to tell when he had to go, but it took some trust for me to just quit asking him if he had to go all the time and trust him to know, even at the risk of having accidents. Don't be afraid of accidents- I was too afraid of them. Two weeks in and he's totally potty trained, telling us when he has to go, and holding it until we can find a restroom in a store and everything! It's great! Your son can do it!
When he does have an accident, run with him in his wet pants to the potty so he understands the concept of rushing there when he has to go, as well as practicing using the potty even if he's already let it all out in his pants.
Sorry so long- this is a challenging part of toddlerhood!
Best wishes! S.

I just saw the Mon taping of the Today show on Ch 5 and they had a woman Wendy Sweeny from Chicago who the called the potty whisper. She does potty training in her house and claims she can do it in one day for most cases. The trick was lots of salty snacks and sugary drinks. She also said that the kids need to clean up their own mess, claim responsiblity. It was an interesting segment and they interviewed her following the video. Check it out on the web. Good luck

The best thing in the world we ever did was this
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25057503/

10 days ago we went to booty camp and my daughter has been potty trained and DIAPER free for 10 days -

mind you - her first time pooping on the toilet was a YEAR ago - and we tried everything in the last year -

It's worth every penny - and the owner/founder Wendy is an angel -

she was on the today show yesterday and nbc (channel 5 chicago) ran her story on the evening news...

I'm a believer - and if you want to hear about our experience personally just email me and I can either email you or personally call you.

C., I think you on the right track, these kids are much smarter than we give them credit for. I have a 3 Year old that has finally got it. I will say the pull up are like a way of co dependency.
Be prepared to pick up little messes. If he is tall enough try using the toliet with a step stool. My little guy never liked the potty. Tell him the toliet is for the big boy.(Something new)

Also about holding the BM. Keep him eating lots of fruits and veg, grapes are good this year, fresh apples. He's not going to be able to hold it.

I say keep trying and continue to encourgae his success. I recalled when my little guy almost made it for a BM. He did some in his underware, but he remembered to go to the toliet late. After I clean up the mess. I just hugged him and looked him in the eyes and said, I'm so proud of you. You know he said, thank you mamma. A few years from now you will be working with the next on. Good luck let me know how things work out.

Sounds like your son isn't ready yet. Stop for awhile and try again later, he'll surprise you and do it over night once he's ready. All children reach this milestone at different times, and boys are much harder to train than girls. My son (age 3)didn't have any interest in using the potty, then 1 day in January he came home from preschool and said "mommy no more diapers, I want to be in the tiger room, they have better toys" I took him shopping for underpants and he's been dry ever since. I know you want him out of diapers, but let him do it at his own pace. They are only small once.

Hi C.,

This was on TV yesterday http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25057503/ - if the link doesn't work google the Potty Whisperer on the today's show.

Good luck.

From my experience (2 kids ages 6 and 3), they will start going on the potty when they are good and ready. With both my kids, we 'potty trained' just as you have been doing, using pull-ups, rewards, etc. My son was over 3 and my daughter was just under 3 when they both just decided one day to begin using the toilet! We rarely had accidents after that point and I really didn't push it with them. One thing I told them was that when they are using the toilet regularly, I would take them to the toy store and they can pick out a small toy for a reward.
Be patient, it will happen. As my pediatrician told me, she doesn't know a child who has gone to Kindergarten in diapers!

I agree a bit with everyone here too. For us, our son has sensory issues so I tweaked the normal potty tips but the tips have worked on typical kids very well too. I did use a chocolate raisin reward system and made a HUGE big deal out of it when he used the potty for the first 2 weeks. Boys seem to really respond to goal oriented routines. What our pediatric nurse told us was to have him wear underpants under his pullups to get the feel of the underpants and feel how wetting that is different than wetting his pullups. Make a big deal about letting him pick out his underpants too there are tons of characters to choose from at the stores. My son loves to pick out his own underpants now too--get 2 packs, you may end up throwing some away if you don't feel like washing them after an accident. However, it did help our son understand feeling the differnce between diapers/pullups and underwear. Next thing was not only did we have a potty on every floor, we took about 2-3 weeks with him and made sure to have a "potty break" and sat him on the potty every 1-2 hours instead of asking him all the time. Since he didn't have the connection between the feeling of having to go and the words yet, it was easier to show him how to do it. We also put him on the potty about 20 minutes after eating and sometimes in front of the TV during one of his "potty breaks" and then eventually only the potty was in the bathroom. We started in August 2007 and he was potty trained by the time preschool started in early September. He was night potty trained by October as well! Good Luck!

When my daughter was potty training, she would hold her BMs in also. I would have to give her suppositories after a few days. If he doesn't go in by tomorrow, I would give him a suppository. My daughter hated them but I explained that if she holds it in and doesn't let it out, this is what we have to do so she doesn't get sick. After having to do it about 3 times, she never held it in again. It is not fun to do but it worked. Good luck!

My son had an aversion to the potty, so we let him run around naked in the yard & he did pee pee outside in the bushes. After a couple of days of going outside he stated to go in the potty, as long as we didn't flush the toilet while he was there (he was afraid of the noise). My friend's son also would not go in a potty & she bought a Peter Potty at WalMart. It's a portable urinal with a water reserve that rinses the pee. It's about $35 to $40, but it worked really well for her. With my daughter we tried everything & nothing worked. Then my mother suggested that we tell her that she could go to the store ($1 store) to pick out a toy if she did 3 pee pees or 1 poop in the potty. She was trained day & night in 1 day & we stopped buying stuff after the 3rd day. Good luck.

I'd wait a little longer. When I had my second my first was 2 1/2. She did fine with the adjustment for the first few months. Then when the new baby was around four months, she started showing signs of jealousy. I thought it would happen right away, so I didn't understand why she was being so difficult (behavior wise). Then we realized it was delayed jealousy issues. You might not want to deal with potty training on top of that.

keep going pantless! the best way to get it done. and then don't stress about it. let him lead. although it might be encouraging if you take him in with you every time YOU go, or every time you change the baby's diaper you might ask if he wants to sit on the potty. the less stressed YOU are about it, the more likely he is to go.

Hi C.:

I went through the same thing with my now 6 year old son. However, my advise to you is going to be completely the opposite of all the others you have received. After having many family and friends HOUND me that my 3 year old son should be potty trained, I tried every trick under the sun to get him to use the "big boy toilet" (this included 3 different potty chairs, regular toilets, cherios, bubbles, naked outside, wearing underwear, etc., etc.). Nothing was working (he wouldn't pee or poop in the potty) and he started holding in his poop. He eventually even refused to come into the bathroom unless he knew it was for a bath. After about 4 days of no BM, I consulted his Pediatrician. She told me that going potty is the only thing that kids have 100% control over (no one can make the pee or poop come out but them) and if you try to potty train when they are not ready you will only cause yourself more frustration than it's worth and it will take longer. She told me to start every day by asking my son if he wanted to go on the potty. If he said no, then just drop it until the next day (I asked him a few times per day, but still dropped it if he said no). She also said to let him see Daddy (mostly) and Mommy using the potty, and explain to him what we use the potty for. My husband also did teach him how to pee standing up outside (we live out in the country so this was no problem for us with our neighbors). She said, eventually he will one day say yes to going on the potty and he did. He was finally fully trained during the day when he was 3 years and 9 months old. I still had family and friends giving me the work over about him still being in diapers for that long. But my response to them was that his Ped. told me he will only potty train when he is ready and until then, it wasn't worth the aggravation, worry (over the holding of BM's) or mess (cleaning poop out of underwear is way worse than a diaper). I just decided to not let it bother me that he wasn't potty trained yet. I never heard of a normal 5 year old going to kindergarten in diapers and I knew mine wouldn't either. His Ped. told me when you wait until THEY are ready, then they will learn faster than if YOU decided it's time. I realize this way of thinking is out of the norm, but it worked for me with almost no aggravation or worry and I have already started to use this same philosophy with my now 2 1/2 year old son. Within 1 week of asking him if he wants to go on the potty, he is peeing on the potty 4 times per day. But, when he says no (and he does), that's it, I drop it. He still wears a diaper and pees and poops in it, but I know he is starting to get it and when he is ready, he will be out of diapers for good!

Best of luck to you with whatever way you choose, but always remember to be consistant...L.

I am a SAHM of 2 wonderful boys 6 years and 2 1/2 years. :o)

C.:

Haven't read the other responses so I may be repeating some stuff. Anyhow, with my son it took about two weeks of accidents left and right. We put underwear on my son and asked him frequently if he had to go. We started him sitting down on the potty instead of standing up. Let him see you and your husband (sitting down) go potty. Your son will eventually have to go potty even if it is on the floor. Don't worry about him "getting sick" He will then start to feel the underwear being wet and cold and before you know, he will not like the feeling and maybe he will go potty here and there for the first couple of days. By the second week he will kind of have mastered it somewhat. By the end of the second week he will be a pro. Beware though, 2 weeks when potty training may seem like for ever but once they have come and gone it will seem like it was nothing. Gook luck!

C., you are off the hook. This is his father's job. Have them pee together!

My son did this with his 2 son's after I suggested it and whala! They peed in the toliet. Now the bowel movement is a lot more challenging. The older one refused to train until
5 1/2 yrs old - I know because I cleaned up the mess when I babysat. The other one trained at 3yrs old.

The girl trained herself at 2 years old, just brought the potty out in the middle of the living room one day when I was visiting, took down her pull-up and did her thing. She was easy!

M.
www.toy-train-table-plans-store.com

for most boys 3 years old is when you start. make sure he drinks enough so he has to go to the bathroom and don't plan on doing anything else that day but potty train. have your husband show him in the bathroom to do his thing. sometimes it happens in a day sometimes not. your frustration will show and he will react to it. be patient it will happen

He can't get sick from holding it.