Good Morning Mama's -
As per my previous posts we recently took my son (3 years) out of the daycare he was in after some major issues with the safety/lack of structure in the room. Since then he has been going to the in-home daycare my daughter (18 months) attends, and that he attended since he was two. The provider is nuturing, she only has once other child there aside from mine, so he is getting some one on one attention, although one of the children is quite a bit younger and needs some extra care. They do spend all day with the TV on, which I hate, it's just too much. My daughter is LOVING having her big brother there. She IDOLIZES him and wants to be just like him. It has been two weeks, and we are seeing these types of things:
Not following directions/not listening
Crying for his friends and for school
Crying about going to the in home provider because "babies go there and I'm not a baby"
Climbing on furniture (which she lets him do at her house at times)
My husband is convinced that he needs the structure of a daycare where there is centers and some learning, and MUCH LESS TV. We have found one that is close to home that has openings, and has great references (2 of my fellow teachers at the school I work at bring their kids there). Obviously we would never bring him back to the one we pulled him from just for safety and security reasons. BUT, he is starting at a pre-school program in August. My concern is that it would be another change for him followed by ANOTHER change in August. I know kids are adaptable, but how much is too much?
So, quick poll, would you keep him at the in-home daycare till Aug, or switch him to the daycare center.
Thanks for all the input. I will be teaching summer school this summer, as it is a great opportunity to help my family get out of debt. Plus it is the last summer I am able to so as next summer both kids will be in activities. I also have a much larger income and better benefits than my husband, so SAHM is not an option for us.
I had a long talk with the in-home daycare provider on Friday about working with J to provide a more stimulating environment. He loves letters and numbers and reading, so we bought some of the same workbooks he has at home for her house, and she is going to work with them all when she can. She is also going to limit the TV (the other mom complained about that to her last week), and be more consistent in not letting him do things (crawl/walk on the furniture) that we don't let him do at home. We are going to keep him there for the summer, and then when he goes to pre-school in August, his sister will go into a regular daycare at the same time. We wanted the in home care until she was 2, but she will only be 3 months away, so it will be an easier move then.
Thanks for all the advice.
In home daycare...did you hear about the woman in Houston that left her home to go shopping and a grease fire broke out!?!
At least business daycares wouldnt be letting grease fires take place....(and she was the only care giver, BTW)
Personally I would keep him where he is until August, after all It really isn't that far away and he will have plenty of structure and socializing a preschool. I'm sure he will adapt just fine! Just my 2 cents!
Why are you insisting that both of your children go to a sitter that has her tv on all day? I would continue looking for a good structured school where both of the children can attend.
L.
I think these changes in the search for the proper care are just fine. If your son is not happy where he is then showing him that you are willing to seek out a better solution is far more important to me than keeping him somewhere he does not like just for the sake of not moving him. I agree that he is lacking structure in this particular setting and I would have a real issue with all the TV too.
Just a side note: please do not think all the problems that you listed are directly related to in home daycare as a whole. I run an in home daycare and preschool and my program is very structured. We have the standard rules (no running, hitting or climbing on furniture, etc...) and we do not even have TV service in our house.
Good luck and I applaud your concern for your son's happiness = )
Oh wow, tough call. My first instinct would be to leave him there and avoid another change until August. A 3 year old doesn't need as much formal teaching and school like structure as all that. He can understand that rules at home (climbing on furniture, TV) are different than rules at school. You can explain that he is the big boy among the babies. I also think it is good for your two kids to spend time together.
That said, it is an eternity until August for a three year old, so a change would not be that abrupt for him then. If you're teaching, do you have time off in the summer when your kids are home with you? If so, you don't have that much time until school ends, and leaving him where he is would be the simplest solution.
So my answer is leave him there, and don't worry. It sounds like he'll do very well whichever way you choose.
I would keep him in the in-home child care. I worry it might be too much change for him. I know there are things you are unhappy about. But he is being nurtured and kept safe now. I would also voice your concerns with the lady watching your children. Then in August he can go to his new preschool. Hope this helps!
Your concerns about too much change are valid, but so are the other issues you are having. He needs to understand that he can't do the same things at home that he is allowed to do at the baby sitters.
I would keep him where he is only if you can have a real conversation with the sitter about his behavior and your expectations that she provide more stimulation for him. If she is unwilling or unable to provide that very much needed stability and stimulation, then I would, by all means move him. He needs to be happy and stimulated at this point in his development. He is showing you all signs that he his neither. Of course he misses his friends. No one his age is at the sitters so he is bored.
But you have to make the decision based on what is right for your family.
Daycare,
He will be with other children his age in a group setting. . They will have a nice schedule, LOTS of outside play which children his age really need. He will learn how to really communicate about what he needs and wants.
It helps them with all of that energy.. he will sleep great at night. He will probably get potty trained sooner if his is not already potty trained.
You will also like it, because you will get to meet other parents of kids your sons age.
Just make the best decision based on what your son needs.
No Regrets either way.
No, your son does not need structure and learning at 3 years of age. He needs to be held and talked to. He needs to feel that he is the most special person in the home (each of your kids can think they are the special one.) He needs to have opportunities to explore his world around him according to his desires and schedule. He needs to sleep when he is tired and eat when he is hungry. And he certainly doesn't need the stimulation of a TV on all day.
I would think two in daycare would be expensive. Is there any option for you to stay home? You could save a lot of money from not having to have work clothes (and their cleaning), eating all meals at home (instead of quick meals out because you didn't get to the store or are too tired to cook), gas and car maintenance, having the time to find and use coupons, having the opportunity to meet other SAHM that you could swap babysitting, etc. The list is endless. You already know the other benefits to your kids that aren't monetary.
neither sounds ideal to me. a daycare with all day tv is a big no-no, but if your daughter is there, it's safe and you like it, i think nurturing family daycares are preferable to institutionalized learning at 3.
but you sound quite unhappy with it, and so does he. so i'd probably opt to put him in the daycare facility and then switch him.
khairete
S.
Get your son into some structured LEARNING!! Having the TV on all day is not good for the children, even as young as 18 months. If the TV is on, how is the "teacher" to focus on activities with your child or hers for that matter. If the care giver needs sounds, have music on so they can sing songs and dance.
Another change for your son will be good at this point!! You might also want to figure out a better learning environment for your daughter too!
