Send to Preschool or Not?

Updated on January 27, 2007
B.B. asks from Petersburg, IL
30 answers

My daughter will be old enough to go to preschool come fall. I think she is doing great and her speach is so good. I have weighed the pros and cons of just waiting and sending her to kindergarten next year and not to preschool this year. Please help me with this one. I would like to hear both sides of this issue!
The other dilema on this one is that I have to find a new daycare/sitter and I am so scared!

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A.R.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think preschool is a great idea. I have my son in preschool and it is great.. The only thing is we go half days, but overall it is a great opportunity. He is getting used to the "school" thing and he has already learned so much. Which he was writing his name before he went in to preschool, but I get so tickled at some of the things he tells us every day..Well good luck let me know what you choose to do (if you want to).

A.

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T.S.

answers from Springfield on

I think you should send her to preschool. I didn't send my son to preschool and he is just now starting kindergarten and he is really behind. My 3 year old daughter is in preschool and she is doing great she will be ahead of her brother. So send her plus it will help out on the babysitter. It will help her out better to get ready for kingdergraten.

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T.O.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I would say send her to preschool. I used to be a Head Start teacher and had one little girl that had never left her mothers side and it was a hard adjustment for her but at least with Head Start her mom was able to come some and we gradually got her used to school. It was hard at first not only on her but her mom but in the long run it seemed to be better for the girl to adjust and be able to move on to Kindergarten when it was time. Anyway good luck in whatever you choose. By the way all 3 of my kids went to Preschool/Head Start. The one that had the hardest time was my middle child and that was because I had been a stay at home mom with him and he hardly ever went anywhere without me. It was a hard adjustment but a good one.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I am personally a fan of preschool, I believe it helps kids prepare for the structure of Kindergarten. I'm sure they are many kids who do great adjusting to kindergarten w/o preschool but I know with my son he absorbed so much. It also helped him learn structure in a different setting.

Maybe you could just do a morning program or mothers day out program.

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T.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi B.,
Okay-- fair warning. This will be long. I actually studied this quite a bit. So if you want a quick answer, just skip over mine!! If you want an in depth answer, but have dinner on the stove-- read this later, or dinner will burn. :)
There are two arguments to this one- and generally everyone has their bias, one way or the other. People who send their kids to preschool will almost always say that YOU should- and they'll assert all sorts of studies that say it helps the kids and that they do better in school. (People don't pay close enough attention to the studies-- if they looked at the demographics, they'd see that the studies showed that preschool only made a marked improvement with children who were developmentally delayed, or who were from poor and uneducated parents or from the inner city.)
Those who choose NOT to send their kids to preschool can site the studies and show that preschool doesn't result in significant improvement, (among kids who are developmentally on target) that it sometimes has negative behavioral effects, and that their kids do just as well if not better than kids who DID go to preschool.
So let's address this honestly- as both sides have their pros and cons.
Unless a parent has made no effort to educate their child at home (doesn't read to them, teach them colors, numbers, ABC's, give them opportunities to cut,paste, play matching games, etc) OR the child is behind for some other reason (major trauma that slowed things down, somekind of learning disability, etc) then the only REAL pro for preschool is that your child will learn all the "classroom politics" sorts of things a year ahead of those who wait until Kindergarten. Classroom politics being-- assigned seating, wait your turn, raise your hand, stand in a straight line, don't eat the paste :), etc. All things that they'll learn and adjust to in the in the very first week of Kindergarten- they don't need a year of preschool to learn it.)
Everything covered in preschool is supposed to prepare a child for Kindergarten. But you know what they learn in Kindergarten? The EXACT same things they learn in preschool, (or from mom at home) but just a little more. ANY Kindergarten teacher will tell you- and you check it yourself, that they spend the majority of the year teaching the ABC's, how to draw them and what sound they make, numbers, shapes, proper scissor use, and classroom behavior to prepare them for 1st grade. The "social" argument that people use is ridiculous UNLESS your child never plays with any other children and has never had to share a toy, take a turn, etc.
So really, the only pro to preschool is to get them used to the "school" environment. (Which for some kids may be a real benefit if they have a hard time with structured environments, rules, etc) Other than that-- depending on the preschool and it's schedule--(it's usually two or three times a week, for 2 or 3 hours) --preschool is a great time for kids to have organized and structured play and activities and to make some new friends-- and there's certainly nothing wrong with that! (AND it gives you a few deserved hours to yourself or at least a few hours with one LESS child-- which most parents REALLY appreciate but are too embarassed to say because they think it will make them sound like they just want to "get rid of the kid" for a few hours- but truly, there's nothing wrong with THAT either). But honestly, there really aren't any other benefits-- unless, as I said before, a child is behind academically, and doesn't know the ABC's, or has extrememly poor fine motor skills and lacks pre-writing or pre-reading skills, has poor social skills (doesn't share, etc) THEN preschool may be a great benefit.
Parents who don't send their kids to preschool are usually ones who are confidant that their child is already ready for school, and are teaching them (usually just through everyday play, reading, coloring, etc) at home. And they'll also tell you that their kids did just fine in Kindergarten, if not better than most of the other kids. I had this experience myself. My children did not go to preschool and they were all and still are the top students in all their classes- 6th, 4th and 1st grades, now. And according to my sister in law-- who taught Kindergarten, and is now doing 3rd grade, she had the same experience. Each year, her best students were the ones that never went to daycare or preschool- and even SHE was surprised. She'd assumed that her best students would be the ones that were supposedly "prepared" by preschool and daycare environments, but each year, found the opposite to be true.
Now that's not to suggest that preschool was somehow BAD for those kids-- maybe individually, they WERE better prepared for Kindergarten and wouldn't have done as well as they did had they NOT gone to preschool-- my sister-in-law just noted that
the kids who hadn't gone to preschool were always her best students. (Which personally, I believe simply signifies that one on one preparation by a parent is better than 10 or 20 to one in a preschool)
Now again-- you don't have to take my word for all this-- I'd suggest you talk to the Kindergarten teachers at your local school. It's not uncommon at all for the kids who stayed at home until Kindergarten, to be the ones most prepared, most socially mature and the best behaved. And again, most Kindergarten teachers will tell you, and you can ask them yourself to verify this-- that even when kids who DIDN'T go to preschool come in and ARE a little behind, they catch up very quickly and perform equal to or higher than the kids who went to preschool. If your school district has an early childhood center that uses the Parents as Teachers program, they can give you some great info, too. They're a wonderful source!
You have to realize that Kindergarten didn't use to be compulsory. Kindergarten USED to be what preschool is NOW. Kindergarten was what people USED to send they're kids to, to prepare them for school. Back in the 60's and before, elementary school used to start with 1st grade. Now- everyone thinks they have to send they're kids to preschool, to prepare them for Kindergarten. And to further that, many states are considering legislation to make PRESCHOOL compulsory too. So then what will happen? There will places to send your child to prepare them for PRESCHOOL.
If you feel like your child is on target for her age and doesn't really need preschool-- then go with that. On the other hand, even if she IS ready, and you just want her to have a few days a week where she can go and have fun, organized/educational activities with other kids (and maybe give you a couple needed and well-deserved hours to yourself!) then that's fine too. I just don't want you to fall for the "oh you HAVE to send her -- she'll do better in school! She'll fall behind if you don't!" garbage. Preschool has no REAL or meaningful advantage unless your child is somehow behind.
If you're already doing educational things with her at home, and she's doing similar things with her friends from the neighborhood, and you're taking her to the library for reading/activity time-- then you've already got the "organized/educational activity" thing covered and she'll probably soar through school.
The main thing is- don't feel pressured one way or the other. You know your child, do what you think is best for her, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're doing her a disservice by NOT sending her, or sending her. Just know that if she's already on target, that it isn't going to put her ahead of anyone or "prepare" her for Kindergarten, and it isn't going to hurt her to go, either.

Best wishes!
T.

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L.W.

answers from St. Louis on

As an educator and now a stay at home mom, I have sent my sons to preschool. If it's a toss up between daycare and preschool, my choice would be preschool. It sounds like you work with her at home and she doesn't really need it. However, socialization is great, especially with children she may be going to kindergarten with next fall. (Of course, if she already has socializing opportunities, she may not need preschool at all.) Not only would your child be getting the social skills she needs, she would also be gaining the benefits of pre-writing, pre-reading skills, etc. that many children are now already equipped with when entering kindergarten. Also, be sure you have confidence in the preschool you may be sending her to. Just like daycares, some are better than others. Just something to think about.
L.

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B.O.

answers from St. Louis on

YES! Send her to preschool!!!!! It's the best thing, I think, my hubby and I did for our oldest. She already had good social skills and was bright, but preschool bumped it up a notch! She started K this year and is already reading full books at a 2nd grade level, she can write in cursive, and is already adding and subtracting. Granted Pre-K didn't do all this, but it surely helped get her ready for "real school". Good luck and if you need anyone to talk to, just email me. Good luck!

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P.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi B., i also have a 3 year old and i will not be placing him in preschool. only for the fact I feel like he gets what he needs from me. he knows all his ABC and can count to 30 in english and 10 in spanish.
But you know your child best. if you think it will help her then yea you should. there is nothing any 1 person can say to you to make up your mind. so take your time if you choice to place her in a daycare again or preschool.you do what you feel is the best for her.
Good luck and god bless

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Are you a stay at home mom, or do you work? I couldn't tell from your post.
If you SAH, and don't think your daughter is emotionally ready to go next year, then don't send her. I don't think she'll be "behind" or anything when it's time for school to start.
If she is or will be attending daycare or having a sitter, though, then she's used to being around other kids/adults and would probably benefit from preschool.
My son attends an awesome daycare, but I didn't feel that they had the best preschool program. So, he now goes to pre-K at the school he will be attending next year, and goes to the daycare in the afternoon. At age 4, he can write his first and last name and numbers 1-20, can read his name and a few other words, can read/write all letters of the alphabet, and has memorized his phone # and address. He has learned this in preschool. I don't know what your child's kindergarten will expect her to know, which is why I wanted to send mine to Pre-K at his school. I figured it they are teaching it, they'll expect him to start school with those skills.
I think skipping preschool is fine if you teach your child these 'preschool' skills yourself. You can find pre-k educational materials at many stores like target, and do the activities with her.

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

hi B. my name is W.. i have 4 children, my advice is if your child is doing well in the childcare she is at, progressing well with speech and all of those things i would leave her where she is at. if you move her to a new place for 1 year and then you have to move her again for knidergarten you may have more problems then you want, such as adjusting and all of those things. going to kindergarten will be a big enough adjustment, and if you still have to go to a different childcare or before and after school care. i have a 15 year old, 6 year old, 3 year old and a 2 month old and dont plan on sending them to preschool the oldest 2 didnt. my sons kindergarten teacher told me that if you choose not to the best thing i can do for my children is read, read, read to them she said that is the biggest thing that helps. hope this helps you make a decision. im also a home child care provider my self and if where she is at is like my house are day is structured as in everyday we eat breakfast, lunch, snack and have lunc at the same time. so sending her to preschool she would only learn the raise your hand to ask a question and all of those things, obviously if she in child care than she knows the share and be nice to others. let her be a kid for the next year then start her in kindergarten im sure she will soar with the others or set the mark for the others. my sons kindergarten teacher thought he attended preschool and he hasnt hes been at home with mom while she does home chilk care so he got the best of both worlds mom and child care for sharing and routine etc.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

My thoughts on preschool....

your child will be fine in kindergarten if she does not go but on the other hand, I think the starting of kindergarten is easier if they have some school experience. Socialization with other children and having to learn to listen and mind someone else besides mom and dad. So my opinion is that preschool is a good thing.

The issue of daycare.....

Where do you live at? I know that here in Newton, KS and El Dorado, KS where I lived before that there was an office that kept track of licensed providers and ones that had not been in "trouble" etc. That made me feel a little better when I was looking around. When my son was in preschool it was a daycare/preschool so he would go to preschool then back over to daycare, it was a church maybe you could find something like that. Daycare is a scary thing it is hard to hand your child off to someone you don't know, ask around to other mom's maybe you can get a few suggestions. Maybe the old daycare could give you some suggestions as well.

If you need more help or would like more info about where to get a list of names just let me know!

Good Luck, S.

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D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it would be a good idea for her to go to preschool because it helps get them ready for the structure and socializing of kindergarden.

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi!
There was/is an article in parents magazine (or parents.com, click on magazine, then click on February 07, scroll down to find article "Why Preschool Matters". )
I'm a SAHM and I agree on putting your daughter in preschool, if not for the socializing factor, then to get her ready for kindergarten or a school-type-structured program that she wouldn't be getting in a regular daycare!

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K.W.

answers from Topeka on

I am a kindergarten teacher. I think it depends so much on the child and the individual circumstances. Preschool is great for the kids and it definately helps, but if your child's daycare has a structured activity time, or you are active in Sunday School or other stuctured activities that helps too. It is important for the kids to have had some exposure to structured activities before they come to kindergarten so they know how to sit and listen and participate.
Kids come to kindergarten with such a wide range of experiences. If it does not work out for you to send her to preschool I think that is okay. It is a great advantage to have preschool but many kids do fine without it too.
Search on the web for kindergarten readiness checklists. They list things that kids should know coming in. Such as, kids need to be able to write their name, recognize some letters, count to 10, know shapes and colors, and separate easily from thier parents.
Good luck, If you have questions feel free to ask.

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A.L.

answers from Kansas City on

B.:

My vote is to send her!! An overwhelming amount of studies show that children who attend preschool, do much better in Kindergarten (both academically and socially). Not only will it be good for her, but it will also be good for you.

A. L

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J.G.

answers from Tulsa on

I didnt put my 5 year old in preschool and she has trailed behind ever since. Its not like in our time where all you do is finger paint and learn your abc's they are now reading in kindergarten!! they have to recognize all their abc's write them and read small words. so if i could do it all over i would definately have sent my child to preschool

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A.

answers from Champaign on

I am 100% in favor of preschool. A good preschool will go above and beyond what any sitter or daycare will do. In my experience sitters really don't do what they say the will do with your child--they fall back on TV and toys. A good preschool will be structured, with multiple educational activities, and at the same time allow children the free play time they need. It will also help your child ease into the more structured elementary school environment.

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B.S.

answers from Topeka on

I would send her to preschool, my daughter is going to headstart this year, preschool next year and then kindergarten. I waited, my daughter is 4 but her birthday is after the cut off to be in kindergarten so she won't be able to start kindergarten until she is 6. I will tell you my daughter going to school has helped her so much in so many different areas, she listens better, she helps out at home, she is just a different kid all together and it's all for the better, and she just loves going to school everyday. I hope this helps with your decision.

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C.D.

answers from Springfield on

I am a big fan of pre-school as well. My son started at 4, which was more needed for the socialization rather than the education. It really helped prepare him for what Kindergarten would be like regarding structured days. Some of the things he had learned by the end of the year were identifying all letters of the alphabet, counting to 30, letter sounds at the beginning and ends of words, writing his full name, and understanding patterns. Not to mention all the wonderful keepsakes they bring home for you around the holidays. That's just a wonderful bonus!

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J.M.

answers from Tulsa on

Do you mean a prek program through teh school, or just a daycare with preschool curriculum? My daughter is currently in a preK program, and I can say,she is learning a lot! I wouldn't be surprised if she is almost ready for 1st grade by teh end of teh year. She is already doing simple math and starting to spell words! Her biggest challenge is social skills with other kids. She never went do a daycare or any place where she had to learn them before. I really think it has made a world of difference in her and I would highly recommend it to anyone!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter will be home schooled so we will not be sending her to preschool. We are doing preschool at home. If she is going to public or private school I would suggest sending her to preschool. It would be a good practice run for her so she knows what is to be expected in a semi structured classroom (depending on what school you choose). I was a preschool teacher for years and there were some children who needed that year of getting used to a school environment and there were kids that did great from day one. I say go for it :) Good luck :)

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K.R.

answers from Peoria on

My son did not go to preschool. He started a full day Kindergarten last fall. He is doing well and is at the top of his class. I think it depends on the child. My son didn't have any socialization issues other than he is too friendly!

He does go to a small private school and is given more attention. I would choose a preschool over a daycare unless you are looking more for just socialization. Good Luck with your decision!

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I would send her to preschool. Not only will this help her when it comes to dealing with kindergarden, but it will allow her time to learn how to play and get along with other children.(not to say that she dosnt) It will all give her a jump start on the things that they teach in kindergarden. I sent my two children to preschool when they were three and a half, now my son is in 2nd grade and he is reading books that forth graders are reading. This can only help your child, but you know best and noly you can make this choice. good luck.

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L.F.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Relax! My youngest is in Pre-K this year. She is making new friends and learning and growing. It isn't necessary for them to go to pre-school especially if they are already learning the alphabet and numbers. Pre-school is mostly for social skills and basics. It really depends on if you are OK with it. I enjoy that time as "my time" now. Good luck with the sitter thing, I have had such a bad experience with daycares I won't recommend them to anyone.
Good Luck and God Bless!

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J.A.

answers from Springfield on

When my daughter was old enough to go to preschool my husband and I decided that even though she could speak very well and she knew her numbers and shapes and she knew how to count, that she need interaction with other kids. She spent most of her time with adults. She needed to play with other kids her own age. So we put her in preschool and she loved it. Not only did it help with her social skill but it helped her get ready for kindergarten. She learned things that we were having trouble teaching her on our own like how to share. The first day of Kindergarten she went in and it didn't bother her like it did some of the other kids. I think that it was the right choice to send her to preschool. I hope this helps.

J.

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A.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I know it is hard but sending them to preschool get's them used to not being with you or anyone else. Gives them a change to interact with kids. Most of the kidergratens *sp* are full days now and it might be easier to get a head start on it. I was not going to send my kids but I am so glad I did.
Call you parent as teachers and let them come a see your child and ask them what they think too. they are very helpful and most of them have not hours too. Good luck to you.

A.

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S.H.

answers from Tulsa on

My son started kindergarten this year. He had not attended any preschool because he is so smart I didn't feel he needed it. He already knew his shapes, colors, numbers, and alphabet, etc. since he was 2. We were living in a state that didn't offer the 4 year old program so if we sent him we had to pay for it ourselves. Needless to say we moved to Oklahoma and my son started kindergarten at Jenks, and we were told he was behind. Most of the children had gone to pre-k. According to his teacher he was supposed to be able to recognize by sight his alpahbet uppper and lower case, his numbers 0-20 and be able to write them in order by memory. I thought those were things you learned in kindergarten. He was also supposed to know how to create patterns and numerous other things I was shocked about. He is now doing subtraction in his second nine weeks. We were told that because every district now offers the four year old program that they do in it what used to be done in kindergarten and kindergarten is now like the old 1st grade.

With all that said, I highly recommend sending your child to preschool. It is only half a day and will be much better than just starting her in kindergarten all day. I wish I had sent my son.

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K.J.

answers from St. Louis on

With my first child I didn't send him to preschool until he was 4. He's in 1st grade now and doing great. My daughter went to the same preschool but she went to their 3 year old class. I did feel guilty for sending her earlier than I did with my son just for the fact that she didn't get the stay-at-home-mommy time like my son did. I believe that she has benefited from going early. She has a cousin who is 5 weeks older than her and family members are very impressed at what she knows verses her cousin.(she just started preshool this year.) My daughter is very smart, well spoken and is extremely good socially. My daughter was born July 25th so she'll be one of the youngest in her class as she goes though school. The main decision for sending my daughter early was because I didn't want her to be "behind". Preschool will help your daughter to learn to cut on the lines, how to use glue the "right" way, spell her name, know the letters of the alphabet and recognize the actual letter. So many things that you may not think about that she'll need to know in kindergarten. I feel like I'm just rambling but, I do believe from experience, that preschool is a great thing!

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J.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I have the same problem. My daughter turns 4 in March, so next Aug is the time to send her. But she has never left my side. When she was born I dicided to open a home daycare. If your child already goes to daycare, then wouldnt it be easyer for her to go and adjust?? The reoson I ask, is because I feel bad for never letting my daughter out of my sight. Lately I have said, maybe I should find another daycare in Ada that will take her once a week and that should have her ready to start school next year. I plan to let her make the decision if she goes or not. I cant let her cry all day!! My little girl loves new clothes, so Ill probley tell her If she stays a headstart for 2 days, then we will go shopping for school clothes!!
Im sorry to ramble, its 4 in the morning ang Im a nervouse wreck because we have to be at the hospital at 645 for my son who's 1 to get tubes put in his ears. PS if I dont sound crazy to you, If you are in Ada, I have a home Daycare in Byng.

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G.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

B.,

Hi, my name is G....I'm a single mother of 2 girls...ages 5 and 12. I sent both of mine to preschool. One went to a church preschool and the other to a public preschool. They both benefited greatly! I would highly recommend it. I do have to say that my oldest was far more advanced than my youngest is but they both benefited in some way shape or form. It's good experience if nothing else.

Good Luck!

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