I have lived in my home for 13+ years. The second year I moved here, the neighbors decided to put up a play structure right next to our adjoining 8 ft fence. They had lovely children and I really didn't care, but they moved. 7 years ago, a woman moved in with her daughter. The daughter is a bit obnoxious and I have had to have several talks with her mother about the girl harassing my dogs while playing in her play structure. This past month my MIL was visiting from AZ and the little girl was yelling at her so much my MIL came in very upset near tears. My MIL is hispanic and I am not. She is a very gentle soul. For those of you who can't understand this, stop blaming the victim.
I have contact the mother requesting the play structure be moved. She is basically telling me she won't move it and to just suck up the horrible behavior of a kid she has chosen not to control.
What is my recourse in this matter? Is there something I can do legally to get her to move it? We would just like to have some privacy in our backyard. We would love to be able to play with our daughter and dogs in our yard without being harassed. :(
I have tried to befriend the family over the 7 years. The kid is known on the block as being disrespectful. The mother is a single adoptive parent, so I have tried to be understanding. I have had several visits to get this to stop, but for some reason each time there is a new friend over, it all starts again.
All I asked was for the mother to move the structure to another part of the yard. It is positioned about a foot from the fence and it is about 12 feet high with the tree house on top. It is an eye sore. It does devalue my property and it does not allow me to have any privacy anywhere in my backyard.
This woman is telling me she can't afford to move the structure when she told another neighbor the other day to fix her pool pump because it was, in her opinion, too loud. She was requiring they pay out $4K to fix her annoyance but can't just move this structure to the other side of her yard to fix our problem. I'm just utterly frustrated and am trying to resolve calmly. I can't afford to purchase a new fence right now, but when I am able, it will be 12 ft.
Add:
The child is about 8 years old. I was hoping she would be past using this structure by now so I have been patient. Now she has started "collecting" rocks. I have found said rocks in my yard. :-/ I have a big dog who is a gentle creature and I want to keep him that way.
My husband does not have the back or knees to be able to help. The structure was moved there by 2 men when it was fully assembled since it was purchased from another neighbor. It can be moved by two adult men. She pays for lawn service, I'm sure she can ask them to assist for $100.
Add2:
Thank you all for your responses and support! I am going to call the city and my HOA on Monday and see if there is anything that can be done. If I don't have any legal actions I can take, I will offer to pay the money to move the durn thing! If she refuses, I guess we will be building trellises and maybe planting grapevines... I could learn to make wine and drown my agitation away. :-P
The best to you all and I do so much appreciate EVERY comment. It is so helpful to see all of your opinions. Thank you!
time for a privacy fence.
EDIT: or tape the kid & let the mom hear her child's words! (yep, I admit - it's a mean thought.)
It seems like it's not a play structure that makes bad neighbors, but bad neighbors that make bad neighbors. Next time you're out in the yard and the little twerp starts ragging on you guys, start watering the plants over near the fence. If a little water accidentally hits her in the process... oh well! ;)
I like the lattice idea. you could just go buy some lattice and attach it to the top of your fence. make it nice and high with some supports so the brat cant knock it down. plant something that will attract ants and bees so she can enjoy them while playing in her tree house. good luck
Maybe you & your husband should offer to help her move it. Those things are terrible to move so not sure how you think she can just up and move it, and she's single. How about putting up tall thick bushes/trees right where the playset sits?
having neighbors can suck but this is a problem for you, not for her so she isn't going to do anything about it......can you pay the $100 or maybe split the $100 with her? how about a tall trellis to grow vines on it? just trying to come up with some solution for you.
ugh. i hate inconsiderate neighbors. it probably WOULD be prohibitively expensive to move the damn thing. it would be completely free for her to teach her nasty kid some manners.
i would be putting up some fast growing tall privacy hedges pronto.
keep a camera handy and if you see the little ogre picking up rocks, try to snap off a pic of her throwing 'em at your dog. get that on camera, and you've got leverage.
khairete
S.
Not sure why you are asking her to move the structure - I wouldn't move it either. It is really your responsibility to take care of it on your side of the fence. However, if I were you I would videotape the girl and give the tape to the mom so she can see how she is behaving. Our neighborhood kids behavior is never seen by the parents and they would never believe their kids act as badly as they do. Since you have an HOA, that is your recourse.
Contact the state's department of housing and development and see what advice they can give you, or call city hall and they can direct you to your town's appropriate department to see if there's something that can be done.
Edited to add: I've been thinking more about this. If this child is throwing rocks at your pets, and throwing large rocks into the yard can be damaging to lawn mowers (aka your property). The problem isn't the play structure but the behavior of the child and moving the structure isn't going to improve her behavior. It's simply going to shift it to something else. The child's behavior needs to be dealt with, whether it's with the HOA or calling the police. You don't need proof with the police to file a report/complaint. That's their job to take your complaint, and your word is your proof as well as showing them rocks and your mother's statement of being harassed on your property, and if your pets have any injuries on them. If you have any property damage you can show that as well. Take pictures of everything. But file a formal report. It might force this mother to start parenting her child.
I hate to tell you that there is probably nothing you can do legally as long as your HOA and town allow play structures, which they probably do. In the meantime, why don't you plant some Red Tip Photinia ? They are so fast growing and will reach 10-12 ft tall in no time. Not to mention they are much cheaper than a new fence. Very pretty IMO. Good luck girl !
Love thy neighbor as you would yourself.
Unfortunately sometimes that is hard to do.
Sometimes there is an ordinance, you might go to your local county clerks office. If the structure is actually higher than your fence line you may be able to get them red tagged for it. HOWEVER, if you didnt mind it with the first neighbor, why would you mind it now? That kid needs attention obviously, would it be easier to befriend the child with some cookies and a talking to, or would you rather be that mean neighbor that had them tear down the kids play equipment?
Added after your response:
maybe give the kid the attention she's asking for when she first starts being annoying. Remember that they are only little for a while and this too will pass, especially if you are planning on staying in your house for many years. A year or two from now this will just be a memory of the "crazy brat" next door. If you change your perspective, it might not annoy you as much.
I'd make sure to ACCIDENTALLY spray her with the hose this summer :)
Moving a play structure can be a lot of work, depending on how big it is. A family gave us theirs. They had moved once and paid someone to move it (which wasn't cheap). They told us, if you come and get it off our property, you can have it. My husband spent several hours (and two trips in the truck) to take it apart and bring it to our house. Then he had to put it all back together.
It was worth it to us, as our kids are quite young, but it really was a lot of work.
uth.
I would definitely put up a block wall fence that is about 8 ft high or higher. That is rediculous. Another prime example of parents not being accountable for their actions, or being accountable for their childrens actions and making their child accountable for his/her actions. This makes total tyrants and bullies and just plain brats! The parent just don't care. I'm not sure who you can get to remedy the situation. I could say call CPS and tell them it's a matter of child neglect since the parent allows the child to run a muck without supervision, but that can cause a whole can of worms for you.
You can try contacting the City Ordinance Officer and see if they can do something about the constant noise and disruption, and complain about the little girl aggrevating your dogs. If they can't do anything, they may know who you can contact. I feel for you. Good Luck.
I'm a little surprised that an 8 year old can make a grown woman cry just by yelling over the fence at her.
What exactly is she doing to harass your dogs?
If she is throwing rocks at your dog, she needs to stop. I guess you could call the police? You'd probably need to have some sort of proof - I'm not sure what.
I dont think you can have them move the play structure.
If the daughter is really terrible and disrupting your lives so much, your easiest solution may be to build a bigger fence.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family! I don't know if you can do this or not, but could you put up additional fence on the top of th 8ft one--like barb wire or something that would deter this child from throwing things over and harassing? Also, document EVERY occurence and call the police if you have to--no one is allowed to harass anyone else. You deserve to be happy and safe in your own home. I would look into it and see if you can maybe get a police officer to scare some sense into her! Best wishes!
M
I don't think I'd bother trying to get her to remove the structure. The structure isn't causing your family any harm, it's the child and her horrid behavior.
Since you've tried talking to them with to no avail, I'd buy a video camera and catch her in the act of throwing rocks at your dog and yelling horrible things. Then I'd ask the neighbor if she'd care to first control her child from causing harm to your dog before you proceed with a vist to your attorney with the video tape and pressing charges for harrassment and cruelty towards animals.
I would go to the HOA if you have one, if not tape the daughter every day for a week then go to the mother again and tell her to remove the structure, of she refuses lawyer up.
I'd plant a nice big tree on your side of the fence!!
Well, this is what chance you take when you move into a neighborhood, I guess you can go move out into the country.
So, if she accomodates you and moves this for you, what are you going to expect next? It is in her yard and she has the right to have it wherever she wants in her backyard. Honestly, you don't really have a leg to stand on, since this play structure has been there for over ten years and you say it's just now bothering you?
I think what should be more concerning is that an 8 yo made a GROWN woman come inside almost in tears!! I really don't understand these grown ups that let little children make them feel bad!!
