Phase or Bad Habit?

Updated on January 03, 2009
B.B. asks from Augusta, GA
10 answers

My 2-year-old son has started asking, "Huh?" after everything I say. It doesn't matter if it's in response to "Bedtime" or "Who wants a cookie?".

I've ruled out hearing loss; His speech is impeccable for his age, and he responds appropriately if I don't repeat what I've said.

Has anyone else had this issue? Will it work itself out on it's own eventually or will it require some sort of intervention on my part? Right now I'm repeating myself only once and ignoring it if he asks again (which he does frequently). Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Jennifer made an interesting point: she mentioned that it seems to be a problem with little boys. After reading her response, I went back and looked at the other responses and noticed that the vast majority of you who spoke through personal experience had the same issue with sons and not daughters. Then I thought about all the grown men I know and I realized that they don't really grow out of not listening to women, do they?

:-;

I never considered a problem with auditory processing, but I'll definitely keep an eye on him.

Thanks for all your suggestions! You guys are great!

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M.D.

answers from Atlanta on

My 2 year old is doing the exact same thing right now. I can remember two of my other three boys doing it at about the same age so I'm assuming it is just a phase they go through. I don't want it to become a habit though so I try hard not to repeat myself each time and I just reply "you heard me" to which he usually gives me a big grin!

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

B., I have a 14 year old and some times she even slips back into that. I even remember my Dad trying to get me to stop doing that. It got to where my father just didn't repeat it and usually I really did hear him. I had just gotten into the habit of saying. Most of the time, I've noticed my daughter heard me the first time also because she will say "huh?" and then answer me.
I think you are doing the right thing in repeating yourself only once. If that doesn't slow it down or stop it, get to where you don't repeat it at all and see if he responds or does what is said. I'm pretty sure it is a normal "habit". I'm not really sure about it being a "stage" because my daughter does it at her age too.

God bless,
S.

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H.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I am a behavioral therapist and believe alot of our kid's behavior(s) are for attention, even though we as parents give them lots and lots of attention. For whatever reason, they crave this attention all the time. We have to be careful at how we respond and reinforce this behavior. Such as, even if he responds "huh" and you repeat just once, the
"huh" response has been reinforced. So, what I suggest, is not repeating the question/comment. I know this will be extrememly hard and take a lot of work. It will test your patience. If you say something, and he responds "huh" and you need him to do something, take him by the hand and make him do it. He probably won't like it much and will learn that if he just does it by himself, there won't be any intervention from you. If you ask him if he wants a cookie and he responds "huh" don't give him the cookie. He should either say yes or no. It is just a stage and it will pass. Lastly, remember to reinforce the "greats" that your son does, like responding first time and especially when you catch him being polite and doing what he is supposed to do. YOU CAN DO IT!!

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K.G.

answers from Macon on

All the responses mirror most of what I would have said. I thinks it is a phase...my boys went through it and now and then still say it. Drives me NUTS. We changed the answer up to:

Huh? I don't respond to that one-sometimes they get the "evil eye" in response
I didn't hear you? I will repeat once
What? I'm not repeating myself again...Think about it and when you can answer it, I'll respond.
Excuse me, I didn't hear you? I'll repeat only one more time

As for double answers- vanilla when he wanted chocolate...I finally had to put my foot down with my 10 yr old when he was about 7 or 8. First answer is what you get. Start thinking about what the question was BEFORE you answer it. Hear the question through and your first answer is what you will receive. He's gotten a whole lot better at listening to the question before he answers it. It's not as frustrating as it was.
I get frustrated more hearing words/responses like 'Huh' and 'what' when I say or ask something.

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D.T.

answers from Atlanta on

I know you've already gotten a ton of responses... but I still just had to laugh. Our daughter (I guess she goes against the grain on this one) says "what?" after everything. And I mean everything. It's cute, but frustrating. Luckily, I know she listens... but still says "what" anyway. ahhhhh. Kids!

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

Phase as long as you keep ignoring it and then he'll find something else to boggle you with!! Good luck and I hope he stops soon for you!

S.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi B.,
My son began that after his 15 month vaccines, which I later linked to his sensory and auditory processing difficulties.

You may want to read about auditory processing and understand how to work with him. The brain cannot interpret and respond immediately even though the voice is going in. You may need to give him an additional minute to process before adding any other info. It may be that you look directly at him when speaking and wait for response (beyond huh?) before adding. There are lots of techniques for helping like using the main word first. Also, you may see him doing something like this: Dan - would you like chocolate or vanilla, he answers Vanilla only because that is the word he is processing. You give him vanilla and he cries he wanted chocolate. Sometimes, this is a symptom as well, so be in observation when you offer A/B choices.

BTW - both of these are treatable and if you are ready, I would be glad to discuss with you more. For now, you need to read and understand so you can evaluatle him. He is too young for any formal eval, so to do early intervention, you have to really be his support.

Thankful Mom with fully recovered, blessed son - J.

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

A little bit of both :) My son has been doing this since maybe 16 months. When he says Huh? & I reply with you heard me, he'll sometimes laugh. Now he's getting into the "WHY?" after everything...

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C.S.

answers from Columbia on

B.,
You have gotten a variety of responses, and they all sound good. I would say that maybe he just needs a couple of seconds to process the request or statement. Do you ever wait and see if he responds appropriately even if you don't repeat it? I think we all are prone to do this sometimes. Maybe he isn't focused when you speak to him. I would also try just getting down on his level and speaking to him each time and see if that helps. I know if someone just speaks to me out of the blue, my first response is probably, "huh?"
As he gets older and better with language I would just ask him to repeat back what he thinks I said. I do this with my son. He is much older, but will still come back to me and say "What did you say to do?" or "What did you say is for dinner?" or whatever, and I will just tell him to think about it and then tell me what he thinks I said.

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

My oldest son (5 1/2) is still replying with What? or Huh? after I ask a question. I call it the male "glazing" factor. Good luck! They aren't asking because they didn't hear you speaking, they are asking because they weren't listening to the actual question. I have also heard this from other moms who have little boys.
I find that it is more frequent if the tv is on or he is engaged in pretend play or a game. I have made it a point to get in his line of vision and ask the question first. If he says Huh? or What?, I make him repeat the question to see if he was actively participating. If he can't, I make him interrupt his play, get in his line of vision, ask him the question again and then have him respond appropriately. I hope you have good responses to your question. I am interested how others handle this type of situation as well.

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