I probably shouldn't be worrying, but I am, which is why I am here. I am 35 years old and have not yet had a child. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 8. We want children. We have held off having them because I have been finishing up my doctorate. As you might imagine, I have begun to worry about my age. Here is the situation...and maybe I am overanalyzing...my periods always have been regular. They come every 27 days like clockwork. Over the last year and a half or so, I have noticed changes. First, I started spotting 2 or 3 days before regular flow. I know this is normal, but I have never spotted up to this point. Then about 6 to 8 months ago, my flow started to fluctuate. Some months I have regular flow for 4 days after a couple of days of spotting, and some months I only have 2 days of regular flow after spotting. Now, this past month my period came a full 6 days early. Like I said, my husband and I want to have children, and I have been ready (despite the whole school thing) for the last 2 years. Though my husband and I aren't what I call "actively trying" (we typically have sex once a month), we have not been preventing for 6 years. You can imagine my disappointment every month when the flow starts. But now, with the changes I am noticing, I am concerned that I have waited too long and have begun to enter perimenopause. Has anyone else experienced this? Should I be concerned? I know you can get pregnant during perimenopause, though it is obviously more difficult. Has anyone gotten pregnant during perimenopause?
I go to the OB/GYN in 2 weeks for my annual and plan to ask him these things then, but I would like info from an experience standpoint in addition to the scientific one.
Thanks in advance. :)
E., go to the store and get the ovulation kit, the one that comes with twenty sticks and do it everyday. Sex only once a month is not enough if you are trying to conceive. Good luck.
i have said it before but i will say it again, plan a long,
drive-through -multiple-states trip and you will get pregnant. just when you least expect to.that or either plan to hike the appalichian trial,going so far as to price camping supplies and making a list of what you will need and how much its going to cost. oh, and plan on some climbing gear too. but, seriously, if you are tying to get
pregnant you need to practice more than once a month, and no just because you have been trying for what, a couple of years with nothing happening doesnt neccessarily mean anything is wrong. a friend of mine is now heavily pregnant
thanks to a ovalation prediction testing kit, try that.
and no doctors dont always have all the answers, i was told for twenty years that i was sterile.. i am now five
and a half months pregnant at forty. my regular doctor called me when she got the sonagram and said.. is this
right, are you sure ???
K. h.
Try not to worry too much about getting pregnant, just have fun and try to have sex a little more often. I didn't have my first baby until I was 35, now I have 3! I used the ovulation predictor kits you can buy at the drug store and they worked really well for us. You just pee on a stick like a pregnancy test and it tells you when your LH hormone levels are highest and you are ovulating.
35 is definately not to late to start having babies! Bottom line is don't stress over it too much, that actually is counterproductive. Good luck and keep trying!
E., I don't respond to many posts, but yours rang a bell for me. I am a school social worker. I am 40 years old. I got married at 38. For years before I got married, I worried about my fertility. My periods had started getting closer and closer together after years of 28 days like clockwork. I even went so far to have some bloodwork done at my OB/GYN (before I was even engaged) and the results indicated that I was "At risk" for infertility. After we got married, we started trying right away out of fear that it would take a long time. We got pregnant during the first week of trying. My son is now 17 months old and the joy of my life. Every woman's body is different, but worrying will not get you pregnant. I say get some tests done and if you want a baby, get serious about having sex every other day when you are ovulating.
I would be concerned with any change in my cycle, but not about your fertility, yet. Some women have fluctuating cycles and prove to be very fertile, but that was always the case with them. I have two friends who had odd cycles and have six and four children, respectively. It does sound like something is changing in your body. Or, it could very well be your body reacting to the stress of working and obtaining a Ph.D. I try not to self-diagnose and just go in with questions and documentation. Make sure you have noted when the changes started, your previous menstrual schedule (particularly if you were normal at last year's exam), any changes to your workload or coursework, exercise routine, diet, weight changes, personal family issues, etc. There could be a host of underlying health conditions that have nothing to do with being perimenopausal. The doctor probably should check your hormone levels during the blood work. I would ask if (s)he will do that. From that, (s)he can tell if you are perimenopausal and will have to do other tests to figure out what's going on and how to prepare for childbearing, if that is a desire.
At 40 I was in peri, yet I got pregnant. The difference is, I already had 5 kids. I am wondering if it's easier to conceive post 30 if you've already had children. I could name 5 friends who have been 39 to 44 who have been peri and gotten pregnant. I would definitely address this with your dr and get his/her advice. There are even specialist in the area of conception if it proves to be an issue for you. I wish you the best of luck with your future children.
Sex once a month and you are dissappointed you when your menses begins?? Be honest with yourself- are you REALLY sure you are ready to get pregnant?
I was told at 29 (in August) I should get serious about having kids if I want them because I will likely need a hysterectomy at some point in the near future- (I had been on birth control for 14 years)- we got started trying and were pregnant by January (4 months). I realize I was extremely lucky because it happened so quickly- and now we are trying for #2 (if we can...) but my point is that you have to have sex more than once a month in order to get pregnant- and are you aware of when you ovulate?? I know it is hard with irregularities to tell- but I would call your doc and just ask to talk to them even though it hasn't been 6 months. And make sure you are having more sex- try maybe every other day the week you think you may ovulate.
I did get a 'red flag' feeling when I read your entry- something is up- maybe you are feeling unsure about Mommyhood?? well- it is the hardest, most exhausting, rewarding thing I have ever done. Good luck and remember be super honest with your self and your partner!!
Two words to solve your problem: More nookie.
I had my first at 37 with no worries, but we were trying, and following the charts we made as mentioned in other responses. The second had a few problems and it turned out one hormone needed a boost and #2 was on her way, at 40. For the third, My husband and I had more difficulty with our schedules and I had the same symptoms you were describing. Still, within 6 months I was pregnant again- almost 43. At 46 I asked my ob (high risk specialist) what she thought, and she said she didn't think I'd have any problems, even though I still had the same symptoms you describe. Team up with an ob you trust and know are familiar with the high risk solutions, and go for it.
A good book for you to read is Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Probably what the problem is is timing. Since your only having sex 1 time a month your probably just missing ovulation. Once you learn your body signs that can help. Good luck
L.
www.jennifersclothdiaperboutique.com
When did the women in your family (mother, her mother, her sister, etc) go thru menopause? Do you know. I have always been told that that helps to determine when YOU will. My mom, aunt, and grandma all went thru meno in their late 30's, EARLY 40's (42 was the latest). So when I was 39 and had had perimeno symptoms for about a yr, and finally had a month cycle free, I was SURE I was finally there... I'd never had kids, was told I could not. Long story,but anyway, I WAS PREGNANT, and had my precious baby 2 weeks after my 40th bday. So take heart! Although if you really want to have a baby, I wouldn't wait, it is a risk you're taking. Ask the dr for a blood test to see if you have the hormone for perimeno... they WILL KNOW if you're getting ready to do that or not. And I won't tell you to have more sex... you've already been told that enough. LOL!
Of course everyone's body is different, but I think 35 would be awefully young to be going through perimenopause. Like you, I also put my career first for a long time and only started really trying to get pregnant when I was in my mid-thirties. After a year of "trying" by having sex seemingly all the time, we finally got serious and got an ovulation predictor kit from the pharmacy. Bang! I was pregnant after the first month. I had my first child at 35 and my second at 38. I'm just saying that your chances are good that it's not too late. Before freaking out or undergoing expensive medical tests, I recommend trying a simple, relatively inexpensive, over-the-counter ovulation predictor.
Hi E.,
I had my first child at age 36 and 2nd at 41, its totally doable :)
Get yourself a copy of the book, 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' by Toni Weschler. It's a MUST read for all women and will explain in great detail about your cycle and the phases, etc.
Oh and if you are in the Tidewater area the midwives at Depaul are AMAZING, smart and super kind. Give them a call ###-###-####.
Good luck to you!
S.
The likelihood of your conceiving while only making love once a month is low. You need to try to estimate your ovulation and have multiple interludes during that time. If you begin using a natural progesterone creme, it will help you in many ways. It helps balance the hormones that fluctuate, it helps with fertility, and it will also increase libido, say nothing about helping protect bone density. When you go to your doctor, make sure they do a complete hormone panel on you. Not just if it is "Normal" or not, but actually break down the various hormones studied. When you have that, you could pursue bio-identical hormone replacement to help. (These are natural plant-based hormones for your body, not synthesized.) You could be having menstrual changes, but that does not disqualify you for pregnancy unless one of you are infertile. Plan, play and pray... God has a way of surprising you! Blessings...
You may be in perimenopause, which can last up to 10 years of longer, or you may not. I was in perimenopause for a long time and still got pregnant twice and gave birth at age 38 and again at age 40. If you want to get pregnant, you definitely need to have sex more frequently than once a month. I know you aren't officially "trying" yet but it also sounds like you wouldn't mind getting pregnant now, so you might as well easy into it by having intercourse more regularly. Good luck, sweetie. Try to relax. Babies have been happening for eons and it will happen to you, too.
I would meet with your obgyn and ask her about it. She can also give you pointers as to how to time your intercourse to increase your odds of having a baby. Don't wait to be ready or you will never get around to having a child. Just do it (and I mean more than once a month)!!! I have been working on my master's degree for 5 years now because I "paused" to have 2 children. Now that we are done having babies, I can focus on my schooling again. I do not regret it at all. School will be there again when you are ready!
Good luck!
M.
Yeah...the lady that mentioned that you should see a fertility specialist made me laugh. YOU ARE NOT HAVING ENOUGH SEX. It's as simple as that. If you're serious about getting pregnant, you need to jump on your husband every chance you get. If you do that for a few months or a year with no result, THEN I would think there is more of a problem there and a specialist would come into play. I also agree with the poster who said you could always complete your education later. If you pass by having your children for education and miss the boat altogether because you waited too long, I doubt your doctorate would be much of a consolation prize.
BTW, periods are not an absolute indicator about the status of your cycle. You can get pregnant while breastfeeding before your cycle even shows up again. I have two children 23 mos. apart and haven't even really had a period since I got pregnant with my first in 2006.
