PCOS And Explaining to 4 Yo That Hard to Have Another Baby

Updated on April 17, 2012
B.B. asks from Los Angeles, CA
7 answers

It was a miracle my friend got pregnant with her daughter. She is 4 now and is asking everyday for a brother or sister. My friend finds it hard to explain why she cant conceive so easy. She has PCOS. My friend is having a hard time explaining to where her daughter could understand and be satified with her answer of why she doesnt have a brother or sister. Anyone have the same situation or anyone who could offer advice... THANK YOU!

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So What Happened?

My My My... no where did I say she was trying to explain to her 4 yo that she has PCOS. Her daughter asks on a daily basis. My friend is trying to find away to tell her daughter she isnt having one right now and that it is ALL IN GODS timing but her daughter keeps asking. Her daughter was satisfied for a while with her answers before but now nothing keeps her from asking. That was my question not how do you explain PCOS to a 4 yo people. Thanks anyways.

More Answers

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Why should you have to explain something like that to a small child??? That is nothing that your friend should be having a conversation with a four-year-old about. I would say something like "When God wants us to have another child, we will." or, if your friend is not a believer, just say "Everything happens for a reason, and when we are supposed to, we will." Or even just something as simple as, "Our family isn't ready yet, but maybe some day."

Your friend is thinking about this way too much. She's 4!!

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

A 4 yr old child deserves no explanation. She may deserve an answer.. and that answer is "mommy isn't having any more babies now.." Simple

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Why explain? Just tell the 4 year old that they're not having any babies right now -maybe someday, maybe not -but not right now.

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K.H.

answers from Boston on

I think it is pretty common for kids to ask for a brother or sister (or even to ask to return an existing brother or sister lol!), but that doesn't mean that it will become a reality. I think your friend just needs to say that families come in all shapes and sizes and right now their family is perfect with one kid.

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S.W.

answers from Shreveport on

I'm going to go against the group on this one. My oldest son started asking for a sister when he hit about 3. We had already been ttc at that point and told him that we were working on it but there were some unknown problems that were making it hard. We even took him to our various infertility testing appts and so on. Before anyone starts bashing I'm an air force wife and many of my appts tended to fall when my husband was at work or tdy and I had no one to leave my son with since we knew so few people at the base we were stationed at. So he went with me. The various drs I saw were fine with it and even helped explain some things to him about why he had to wait longer for a sibling. He finally stopped asking and accepted that it would happen when we could manage it.
So your friend could simply tell her daughter that for some people it isn't as easy as it is for others. If they are ttc they can tell they are working on it and if and when it happens make her a part of sharing the news with others.
People need to realize that some kids despite their young age understand more than adults want to give them credit for. Granted details should be cut down but it can be explained. The child is clearly asking for a reason and odds are she knows something is up already.
The huge plus side for my son knowing and going to various drs with me from a young age...the sex talk was a cake walk. He has even corrected his friends at school when they start talking about avoiding pregnancy and so on. When they had health classes that covered reproduction my son could answer the questions without reading the material handed out.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I agree - your friend does not need to give some elaborate medical explanation. Just keep it simple and tell her daughter that maybe some day it will happen but it's not up to them. She can tell her it's up to God if they are okay with that, although it may make the child wonder why God would not want them to have another baby. Or she can just say that it's hard for her body to make babies and sometimes that happens. I had blood clot issues (including a pulmonary embolism) after having my daughter by c-section and I've been told that because of that, and my age (I will be 40 this year) it really would not be in my best interest to get pregnant again and I would be considered high-risk. So no more babies for us. And DD sometimes gets on a kick about asking for a baby sister or brother but I just tell her that it would be nice, and I understand why she wants to be a big sister, and I know she would be wonderful at it. But I also tell her that we like the size of our family the way it is and that's it. I figure when she is older (like, maybe 12) and can understand more about reproductive physiology and how it all works and how sometimes complications come up, I will tell her about what happened to me after she was born and that's why we stopped when we did.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

overthinking! oversharing!

Kids don't get medical conditions. Kids don't get acronyms. Kids don't listen beyond the first few words!

All your friend needs to say is: "you are a gift from God, & perhaps one day He will give us another".

I, too, have PCOS....6 years between 1st & 2nd child, with a miscarriage in between. 9 years total between 1st & 3rd! Long, hard haul....

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