Patience Stretched So Thin Some Day...

You need to relax. Take a hot bath, read something that's not child related, take a walk by yourself, go window shopping at the mall alone. If you haven't gotten your hair done in a while, go get pampered. Get a manicure.

If you can't get away from the kids for a while then put the kids in their rooms and make sure that they're safe where they are. Determine that their needs are met (fed, changed, clean, dry, safe) and lock yourself outside on the porch for a few minutes with a tall glass of something delicious with your favorite snack. Read while you're out there even if it's some gossip magazine. It's all right if the kids cry for a few minutes.

It happens. Anyone who tells you that your buttons won't be pushed has a bridge to sell.

In these situations, first I apologize to my kids when I treat them poorly. Next, when I am short tempered I tell my kids "Mommy is out of patience right now. I know it is not fair and I know it is not nice, but I need you to be extra good right now so I can get some patience back. If you will please play quietly while I ______ that would be very helpful for mommy."
And then I go somewhere and count to ten over and over again, scream into a pillow, take a very long shower, or just meditate or pray. Usually about 1/2 an hour of this will set me right again. Then I go back to my kids, tell them that I appreciate what they did and that nice mommy is back. If you find you are losing your temper often, then you need to take time to do something YOU enjoy. It's great to be mommy, but you are more than just that and sometimes you need to reconnect with you non-mommy side.

Aaaw, you need a break Sista! It's ok to have a cranky day, kids need to know Mom really IS just a Regular Human Person afterall!

Hope your breaks come soon and often!

:)

Sounds like you need to get out of the house. I have those kinds of days often, where I wake up in a bad mood, and I know I need to whisk the kids out of the house--to the park, a mall, playdate with a friend, the library...anything to change the scenery and give the kids a distraction.

ETA: Haha, just noticed my advice was exactly the opposite of the previous one. When I am in a bad mood being at home makes me SOOO much more bitchy.

You would be amazed what kids pick up. Some enjoy getting your goat. My kids always knew when I went to the bedroom and shut the door they had gone too far. I would always come out when I calmed down, usually around five minutes, to find them sitting on the sofa waiting for the punishment.

The key is walking away before you lose it, even if it is only to another room.

We are totally alike.

When I snap, I'm out. I need a break for a day or two. Typically, after a snap, my following day, is where I tend to tune out.

Instead of focusing on the kids for the day, I'll stay in the house (where I know they will at least be safe), and just do what I want to do. Watch a movie, surf the web...whatever. Basically, they're my hostages. :) When I'm in that mindset, any "oopsies" that happen are on my husband to fix/clean up when he gets home. 1 day isn't the end of the world.

If your husband isn't around to help like last night...do what relaxes you. Pop on your iPod for a song or two, and ignore the kids for a few minutes. Take a shower...whatever changes your mindset normally.

It's totally OK to 'check out' of momhood on occasion. Especially if it means you can re-engage in a better way afterwards.

I don't think there has been a mother who hasn't hit that point one time or another, it is hard but we get through it by remembering "this too shall pass" I find that when EVERYTHING is going wrong, it is time to break the cycle by going to the park or somewhere to run off energy and get them away from being bored which I find is when most oops happen. The house work and laundry can wait. Change of scenery does wonders for patience of mom along with kids behavior.

That said, I can tell you that even though you don't get stuff done as much and it seems to take all your patience and time, sitting down and playing a game or reading a book with the little ones. Rocking a clingy cranky baby, they are all priceless. When the kids grow up those are the memories you will smile on (also the messes, they really make you smile when you tell your children about them when they are dealing with their own little messy children). Sometimes you don't get a chance to have more memories, so cherish them all, even the ones which makes you pull your hair out. They won't seem as bad as they do now. We lost our son 3 days before his 23rd birthday and the memories are so important. Pictures are too, so always have a camera handy to get some of those messes and oops moments on film (well card now days) They become the most important thing to you if you would ever lose one of those precious children. I also journaled all through the kids early childhood and that is something that is really cool to read back on. I read about when my oldest two dumped all my water container all over the floor and how upset I was because the well was down and that was all the water we had, but then I remember now how much they giggled as they stomped through the kitchen in two inches of water while I mopped it up. How when my two oldest were 2 and 3 they cut each others hair and I marched them to my mother in law in tears because of the little blonde curls all over the floor. My daughter was pretty much bald until she was 2 and finally had these little curls... yep the ones on the floor. Now my daughter is a hair stylist and cuts hair for a living. I tease her saying I set her destiny by telling her "NEVER EVER cut someones hair again!!!" So even the hardest times turn out to be wonderful memories.

Give them a hug and enjoy them.

Go and calm down, take the child to a park, remove yourself form the situation, cuddle them. Those high energy kids sometimes need an extra hug or activity. I certainly have my breaking point days, that's when my husband walks in the door from work and I say, "They are yours!" and I go take a looong nap.

Dr. Sears has some excellent advice on ways to calm down as a parent:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/5-wa...

as well as tactics such as using humor for discipline:
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior/usin...

I had one of those days last week. I had just had it by the time my hubby got home and I didn't do ANYTHING else after he walked in the door. I went into my room and had a little cry. We just moved and I don't know anyone here, so I'm missing play dates and fun with girlfriends and just having somewhere to be or something to do. That, and the stress of a house that needs a lot of repairs (roof, appliances, etc....things that are kind of major) has made me a pretty grumpy mama. Anyway, I have my good days and bad days. I know we probably need to get out of the house and go do something, but I don't have anyone to go with and there is so much to do here that I kind of feel like a prisoner here some days. It's starting to get better. Most of the major repairs are done now and I finally got my son enrolled in preschool (as long as he uses the potty so that they don't kick him out....that's the other thing I've been doing with my time) and I'm joining a MOPS group and a ladies' bible study. I'm hoping to meet some other people that way and get some play dates rolling to make some friends.

I totally know what it's like to KNOW that you're in a foul mood and WANT to change it, but simply can't get out of the funk. I say get out of the house and do something. Go to Chick fil a and let the kiddos play in the playground and you chill and read a book. Or, go to the park or something easy...pack a lunch. Call a friend and see if they are up for a playdate. I always found strength in numbers before we moved. If I was grumpy and we got out and around other people, my kids would be more entertained with their buddies and I could get a break. I hope your day gets better! Have a glass of wine later this afternoon and get a nice bath when hubby comes home. You'll be good as new tomorrow! :-)