Straight Vs. Curly Hair

Updated on August 17, 2011
N.M. asks from San Jose, CA
17 answers

I just saw a slideshow online of "8 Hairstyles Men Love" and every one of the pictures showed smooth straight hair. And it happens all the time whenever I look at articles touting hairstyles that are "great" or "trendy" or "stylish"... It's 99% straight hair!

My hair's not smooth and straight, it's curly.
I can tame the curls to not be too frizzy, but I just don't want to spend all that time blowing my hair out to make it fit the straight, smooth style. I've tried, but I get fed up with how long it takes and how tired my arms get. I like the results but not enough to do it every day...maybe a couple times a year. I'm all for low-maintenance: shampoo and conditioner, brush, 1 anti-frizz product for styling, and air dry.

So, for the curly haired mamas out there, where do you find photos of good curly hair cuts to show your hairstylist? Do you have styling tricks? How often do you take the time to blow your hair straight? How long does it take you and do you have a special method?
I'd like to look "sophisticated" and "polished" but curly hair never seems to go with those adjectives, just straight hair, at least in the popular media. What do you do?

PS--Thanks for the quick feedback already, ladies. :) Yes, I'm generally happy with my curls. But now that I'm back in the workforce, it just seems that straight is viewed as the more professional look. I blame the media for that! It's not helping that I just watched Princess Diaries with my daughter and the girl went from bushy hair (her natural curls could have been nicely tamed) to straight and smooth in the princess transformation scene.

What can I do next?

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm 49 years old and it took me until roughly the age of 40 to accept my waves and curls!

In my opinion, you can take all the pictures you want to a stylist, but unless they are used to cutting curly/wavy hair it will be a mess! I finally found a stylist, who has turned into a great friend and I love my hair. Literally I blow dry my 'bangs' to make them a little more manageable, apply some hair product, (my favorite is John Frieda's Dream Curls) scrunch and go! And if I'm traveling or some place it really doesn't matter, I seriously can just scrunch everything and it looks great.

Again, in my opinion, why try to be something your not? Be and accept you for all the goodness you have to offer! IF my husband "loves" someones straight hair, he obviously is smart enough NOT to voice that opinion. And since we've been together 25 years, I'm guessing he really doesn't care or notice the straight hair.

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Oh yes I have really curly hair. I had a really good hair dresser in Missouri, but once I moved to Florida I can't find one damn person that can do it right! GRRR.. I have made one observation about the curls though. While straight hair might be the "8 styles that men love" those fellas out there that do like curly hair, freaking LOVE it. Seriously I dated this guy years ago that I ran into. He told me that he STILL talks about my long curly hair! LOL

C.W.

answers from Las Vegas on

There are a lot of celebs who wear curly (whether it's taylor swift or a more ringlet style). I think it's bs what the article says. My best friend loves curly hair and cringes when I straighten my hair lol. I straighten 2 or 3 times a week (depending on my mood) just because I like my hair straight, it feels cooler in the hot desert area. I take a shower the night before, let it dry naturally. In the morning, I will blow dry any parts that haven't dried then I section the sides apart from the back. I pin up each side (separately) then do the back first with a ceramic wide straightening iron. I section row by row. I'm OCD about straightening my hair and when I straighten it you have no idea my hair was ever curly or wavy to start with. It takes me 45 mins and my hair is below my shoulder blades (mid back) and thick/curly/wavy. It just depends on my mood, some days I just put hair spray in it or use john frieda (I think it's him) scrunching spray and be on my way :)

I just do a google search "curly hair styles" and click on google images. There are lots out there. Sophisticated and polished can be curly styles, the media may not overly show it, but I have seen Jada smith and other celebs in curly dos that looked very polished and sophisticated.

I also get a deep conditioning at the hair college once a month since blow dryers and straightening irons damage your hair a bit.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I guess the grass is always greener...I have boring, fine, straight hair and always wanted curls. My husband has beautiful ringlet type curls that I would love to have. My son got nice wavy hair and my daughter got the same fine hair as I have (with a slight wave to it). I was hoping they would get nice curls.

I like curly hair. I think as long as you have a nice cut and it isn't frizzy it looks nice. Why worry about the fashion magazines? If you look like yourself but put together that's good. But you may not want to take hair style advice from me since I have had the same long straight hair for decades.

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E.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't have a good answer for you. I just wanted to pipe in and express my anger at our racist media. When we paint straight as more professional or more pretty or more sexy, what does that say to black women? My daughter is biracial and has very beautiful, very curly hair. At four years old, she has already figured out that the world sees long straight hair as pretty. She tells me that she wants a long ponytail like some of her classmates, not a short one like her. Grrrrr... It makes my blood boil. Anyone else?

I don't know what we all can do about it, except to reject those limiting and racist aesthetics and embrace the beauty of curly, our own and those of anyone else. Ideas anyone?

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

hate it, just like you do :) that's what i do lol.

my hair has killer wave, it can curl with the right product, but it straightens fairly easily - ten minutes and i'm done. but i have to use a straight iron on dry hair - if i blow it dry (even with a diffuser, i tried that once and it made zero difference to the frizz and took twice as long to dry) it looks terrible. what i do is wash it the night before. laying on it while it dries helps it flatten out and makes for easier straightening. i also keep it fairly short, about to my shoulders. if i get a cowlick from sleeping wierd a little of my son's detangler spray works great. i also use an anti-frizz shampoo/conditioner (herbal essences "none of your frizzness") to help tame it.

i like no-fuss hair....i am not into salon treatments or spending a ton of money on haircuts...but this is a compromise i can live with. hope it helps.

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M.K.

answers from San Francisco on

I have very curly hair. I have ALWAYS had huge compliments about my hair. Recently I found a book called Curly Girl which has a few recommendations. Also, someone suggested using Ouidad products. I think that is what is called. You can find it on line. I'm also into the quick and easy. I've occassionally straightened my hair with home straighteners such as Soft & Beautiful and others like them. My sisters/MIL have done it for me. Anyway, as much as I enjoy Princess Diaries that part about her hair being straightened bothered me. I agree that they could have been tamed & probably looked even more beautiful than straightened. Anyway, I always liked curls...just not on me :-) I wanted my hair to be more wavy.

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M.B.

answers from Lancaster on

1. Stop listening to the media which has a vested interest in making you disatisfied with what you have!! ;) Curly hair can be beatiful, sexy and professional!

2. Find a hair stylist who really knows what she is doing. I have curly hair which I used to hate, but once I found the right stylist, total strangers would stop me on the street to tell me that my hair was beautiful. With the right hair cut, all I do is put a little product in and blowdry with a diffuser. This sounds gross, but i never brush or comb my hair, I just run my fingers through it to detangle after washing.

3. I straigten my hair maybe 4 times a year. It doesn't stay straight for more than an hour or two so its usually a wasted effort!

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I think that curly hair is a dominant gene, so MOST people out there have some sort of wave/kink. Most seem to blowdry it or hot-iron it. I am one of those who prefer - just like you - low maintenance, so my hair is curly every day. The two or 3 times I've done it straight, it still had a flip at the end and my hubs didn't like it at all (b/c it just wasn't "me.")

Hairstylist -- she just knows good cuts for my face. I've never showed her a picture that I can think of, unless it was out of one of her hairdresser books in the waiting room.

Tricks -- my hairdresser told me to do a cocktail of gel and mousse. I mix a little bit of both in my hands and dump my curls upside down and try to evenly put the product in my hair, scrunching it. I prefer to let it air dry. If I use a dryer, I will always use a diffuser.

I dunno about the sophisticated and polished look. I am a SAHM and dont' worry too much about how I look. It's either down on 'good hair' days, half way up with a clip on 'half-way-good-hair' days, and in a pony tail or bun on bad hair days.

T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Big lose curls are getting more popular. What do hot rollers do on your hair?

My hair isn't curly like it sounds like yours is. Well, parts of mine are, then other parts are wavy, and a few parts are straight. It's all frizzy. I cannot let my hair dry normal. It doesn't work to diffuse (have you tried that?) because my hair isn't the same all around. So, if I want it straight, I'll blow dry it a section at a time. I use a big round brush and start at the roots (per section) and will slowly pull it out as I blow dry with a brush. I repeat until that part is dry. Then I move on. It probably takes 20-30 minutes. then I have to style it after that.

I've started using hot rollers. I need more body to my hair! I wasn't sure how the hot rollers would work. But after several tries (playing around the gel and how long to heat the rollers, etc), I've settled on quite liking them. I do my hair in big lose curls, or tighter curls, or really really lose curls that look more like straight hair with lots of body.

So, if you haven't tried hot rollers, I'd try that and see how your hair responds. If you need any ideas, I can tell you what I do to get it to work. I think my profile pic shows my hair curly. I also wear it straight (and it's much longer straight!).

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

First off, you need to make sure your shampoo/conditioner is hydrating, as well do not use a towel on your curls -- use paper towels and squeeze the towels are too rough they break up the hair cuticuls and cause frizz. Second, get a wet to straight straightener - Remington about 25-30 bucks along with good heat protectant and frizz control. I like to use Wen Hair Care for my cleansing/conditioning products, frizz control products, Got 2b heat protectant, and Garnier Brilliantine Shine. I also like to do it on the weekend and use dry shampoo (Treseme is a good one) during the week to keep the blow out fresh looking. You can also keep a curly look by using the diffuser and sexy sweet french braids and updos.

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't have any advice, except that all my life, I've had "straight, smooth" (or as my mother calls it, ditchbank Okie) hair. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Usually straight and smooth without hair products, blow-drying upside down, and more hair products = flat and stringy. UGH.

Work those curls! I wish I had ANY kind of volume to my hair naturally!

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

If you have a salon in your area that sells Ouidad products, the stylists there are trained to do curly cuts. But I think they are too expensive. I just find a good local hairdresser.

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S.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Alot of ladies out there (myself included!) would love to have curly hair, even with all of its styling challenges:) Curly hair looks the way I feel -- carefree and a little wild:) I'm not willing to get a perm and risk ruining my mostly-stick-straight hair to have it reflect my inner self...so, I'm stuck flat-ironing it to make it behave and look "polished" and "professional" -- boring, huh? Also, who cares what hairstyles are loved by men? Let THEM stand in front of a mirror for hours to get that perfect look:) Be your beautiful self:)

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have long curly hair past my bra strap. I cut it myself. When its wet, I bend over and comb it over my head and cut it straight across. It layers it. After I wash it I just put in some mousse and that's it, I let it air dry. My husband however LOVES it when its straight. I can't do it myself so on special occasions, I pay a lady at a salon $15 and she makes it straight for me. I do it sometimes if we have a weekend trip planned or a party or something. I'm 44 and I don't care what's in or what's cool, etc. I do what makes me happy and hubby happy! Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read all the other posts, but here is my advise. I have very curly hair too. I even got the brazillan blowout recently and my hair was still very curly. First don't use a brush at all, use a pick. The brushing makes the hair even more frizzy. I use shampoo and conditioner, then leave my hair up in a towel for a few mintues. Then I put a detangler in my hair and put it in a bun while I put my makeup on. Then I use a pick to get all the tangles out and proceed to fixing it. I used Fructis Garnier(sp) smoothing milk first then I used Tressemme (sp) hair gel for curly hair . Blow dry it only with a difusser (sp) then put a little more gel on the fly aways and a very squirks of hair spray.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I understand the workforce aspect - I read an article recently that reinforced the idea that straight hair is perceived as more professional than curly hair (but wait a decade or two, the pendulum probably will swing back to curly). When I was working, rather than taking the time to straighten my hair (which just seemed odd to me, given that everyone already knows that my hair is curly), I would wear my hair in an easy up-do twist on days when I had to look "really" professional. On other days, I would do my best to make sure that my curls were neat and well defined. Hot curlers may help keep natural curls neat, and take less time and effort than a blow out. Good lulck!

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