Party Invite Etiquette

I say invite the kids that are the best friends of your children and/or those of close friends or family. Don't advertise it so the kids not invited are upset. Just invite the ones you want and not the others.

I agree with the other posters and would like to add that if you invite FAMILY and NON-playgroup friends, the ones who are there from the playgroups will get that this was a catch-all party and not a playgroup party.

I have also put a tag line in my invitations before saying "Due to space restrictions [or whatever you wanna say] this will be a small party. Kindly be sweet and discrete and don't tell anyone you're invited!" People have seemed to understand that. I think everyone's pondered your same question before; they should "get" it.

I know this is late, but ditch the play group that didn't invite you to game night. This behavior will eventually be understood by your children as "we were not good enough to invite" or "there must be something wrong with me". They sound like snobs and I would run away from them as quickly as possible. Oh and btw, of course they still invite you to birthday parties...you bring a gift.

Your kids are real young... to totally get into "Halloween."

But, I would ONLY invite a handful of people. Only your close friends...
not all that other mom-group people. Too much politics.. and way too many kids.
You do NOT have to invite anyone and everyone you know.
And, if you do have the party, certainly do not advertise it nor put up photos of it on social networks online etc. There is no obligation to do that.

I would keep it to you and/or family even.
At your kids ages.... they will also get REAL tired real quick with all the Halloween stuff going on... and you'd probably want to take them yourselves, out in the neighborhood for trick or treating...

Personally, I would not make a big party... unless cost is not a factor and your having to invite everyone from all your social groups.
And that 1 play group of yours, that is censoring the friendships in it... I would quit that one. How noxious and full of icky Moms. Ugh.

all the best,
Susan

Your kids are still so little....
Only invite a handful of kids to keep things manageable.
Little ones can get overwhelmed and revved up and you need to keep things down to a number easily dealt with.
Don't worry about inviting every single person you know and don't worry about who has invited your or not.
Your kids are 4 and 2. I would say 6 kids, max. With your two, that's 8.
Is the party for the kids or for your socializing?
Overwhelming kids that age can backfire with too much going on.
That's just my personal opinion.
Don't advertise that you are throwing a party and just keep things on a manageable scale. There is nothing wrong with that.

Ok, this is JUST BEGINNING at age 4 and you can't make yourself crazy over it! You should invite only the kids your child is friends with or the children whose moms you really enjoy hanging out with.

If someone complains or feels hurt, you can just say "I'm so sorry, we just did not have the space to invite everyone and we had a lot of relatives to invite! I'd love to have a playdate/meet up for coffee, etc. this week instead!"

but honestly- this is just the way it is. As your child gets older, he will start to pick the kids he wants to invite and it is just a reality that not every kid gets invited to every party. Nothing mean about it- that's just the way it is! If some moms choose to take offense at that, its not your fault. Just ask who you want and don't stress out!

I would invite your best friends and your kids best friends.

Don't go overboard.
Pick a few families and leave it at that.
LBC

When I was in a group like this, they had the halloween party during the regular time the playgroup met. It was the same kids that were used to playing together, and not much more complicated than a regular playgroup except they asked each person to bring something. We took cute pictures of the kids trick-or-treating in the driveway, and they did fingerpainting shaving cream on pumpkins.
Do any of the groups have someone else who likes to plan events for that group that might want to do a small party?
I wish you the best in staying calm and polite with the group that hurt your feelings. I was once in a group that changed their rules so that I was forced out. They decided that adding a new person to an established solid group of friends was a mistake, but I felt like they were not setting a good example for their kids. It made me feel a little better that one other person in the group came up to me later and let me know that she didn't agree with it.

Keep it SMALL. 2-3 families would be more than enough. Even that many might overload the 2 year old! The rule of thumb is one child for each year of the childs age. So 4 invited kids would be about right. Really, your kids are still kind of young for this. My other advice is to keep it simple. Remember to keep activities and games appropriate for their ages.
Bubbles, maybe some crayons and coloring sheets, and putting out toys. At these ages they play more 'next' to each other than with each other.

Hi, Teresa,
Just a thought: All these children are VERY young for a Halloween party. I was just thinking this morning about how scared my son was at age 3 or maybe 4 when he saw his skeleton costume -- not yet totally clear on real and pretend. Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait till the children are 5 and almost 3? Their social situations will change by then, esp the elder, and you might find yourself with new/different friends. Just a thought.
Good luck,
Mama S.

The first thing you may wish to clarify for yourself is who us the party for and for what reason. Is it for those you wish to spend time with or a social event for your children? Or both? Either way but I believe once you define that I think your invite list will create itself. If it does grow larger you might consider using park district space or if the weather is conducive your yard. Good luck.