OK - A liitle long, but I need some good feed back . . . . I have rented a swimming pool out for my son's 8th birthday party. We get one hour in the party room, that holds only 25 people, and then we have 1 hour in the pool, and we can have up to 43 people in the pool.
My son is in 2 classess at school - one for his special needs and then he is integrated into a regular 2nd grade class. So - I would like to invite everyone, of course, but that can't happen. I was thinking of inviting out of school friends, family and his special needs class classmates for the first hour in the party room - we would have cake and ice cream and maybe a craft, and game or two. Then, I would send invitations to join us for the one swimming hour to his regular 2nd grade class.
When I booked, I had planned to invite everybody for everything, then after the $$$ was paid, they told me the number limitations.
What do you think? He has said he doesn't really hang out with his 2nd grade classmates, but there is a strong possibility that he will be mainstreamed for grade 3 and so I want him to begin to make better acquaintances.
If everyone in the regular 2nd grade class is invited, would they be offended that they weren't invited for the first hour in the party room? I would include a cupcake in their take home goody bag . . .
Thank you everyone! I will be inviting out of school friends, family and his special needs class classmates and just the friends he would like me to invite from his second grade class, not everyone . . . I will send a cake to his class though.
I was left out of parties as a young child and it was really painful, so most likely I will be asking the school office if we can mail the invites to the few kids from the mainstream class, to avoid hurt feelings of classmates, by passing out invites in class . . . .thanks for all the input!
No, I would not divide up the invitees. Pick one group or the other. If it were me, I'd go with family, friends of the family, and the special needs classmates. If he's mainstreamed for third grade, try inviting some of those classmates for play dates over the summer so he gets to know people better.
I would only invite the number of kids that would fit into the whole party. I don't think it's a good idea to invite some kids to only the second half of the party.
invite the kids your son is friends with. no matter how much you want to "main stream" him he is going to have good friends and kids who just put up with him (I am the mom of a kid who has been in special needs class his entire 16 years) no matter how much you want him to have a whole school full of good friends its better to have 5 good ones than a room full of kids who just tolerate you. If he has told you flat out he doesn't hang out with the one group don't invite them. invite the ones he likes. its his birthday. and yes the group who gets skipped for lunch/cake/games etc will have hurt feelings.
I can almost guarantee the pool number is to accomidate parents. It may not be, but that's how pools around here operate.
I would actually think that while also being chaotic to have 2 groups of people, while well intentioned, the 2nd group will feel left out because of the cake/icecream/presents that they miss.
I would stick with one group for the entire time. Mix it up however you like, but to keep all the kids together for both hours.
Its odd that the #s for the two parts of the offered party package are so extremely different.... maybe the pool part includes parents?
Would it be possible to invite the special needs class, and then just the boys from the mainstream class? The general rule is all of the child's gender or the whole class. If the numbers work, then you could invite the whole specials plus the main boys.
No matter what... either group, will know that there were 2 parts to the party: the pool one and the party room part.
And they will see each other, either leaving or arriving.
So, how do you "hide" both groups from seeing each other, if one group is invited to only the pool portion, and the other group only invited to the party-room portion, of the party?
Basically, you are having 2 parties. But at the same venue. With 2 different groups of invitees.
Complicated.
I would not do that.
A child, will make friends, as they do. Not just because they invite everyone to a party. Nor can you predict, his friendships next year. Or not.
Well - in my experience not everyone ever comes. Probably 20 or so is the most I have ever seen. Especially if the kids you want him to become better friends with don't really know him - they most likely won't come.
I'd not split the invites up - that will only cause drama and put a bad taste in people;s mouths. In otherwords, I wouldn't attend a party if my son wasn't invited to the whole thing...and I'd be offended if I found out we were not invited to the first part.
I'd have a problem with not knowing the number limitations prior to paying. Can you just do 2 pool hours with 43 people instead?
I would invite 25 kids and call it good. He will have plenty of opportunities to make aquaintances, one hour at a birthday party isn't going to make much of a difference.
You are sweet to try and include as many as you can, but don't make it harder than it needs to be! Sounds like a FUN party!! (By the way, I think it was rather crummy that the people at the pool place told you the number limitations AFTER you paid! grrrrr!)
I think you should consider limiting the entire thing to 25.....either all of the boys, or the whole special needs class PLUS maybe a few closer buds from the mainstream class. Have fun!
I suggest that inviting his second grade class to the swimming pool part is a good idea. I'd find a polite way to let them know that this is the second part of the party and that you're only doing this because of space requirements.
I'd probably drop the bd part for the second part. Call it a swimming party, no gifts wanted.
You know you never have eeryone show up so invite both full classes and enjoy because probably half will show up and you will be ok.
First -- a birthday party is not the time to make friends -- so I wouldn't invite people with that intention. I'd stick with the friends he feels close to
I agree, people will feel strange that they only were invited to one part of the festivities. And to come for just a one hour party, may seem like a lot of work for people.
It's challenging == but either choose another venue or just choose kids he's close with . It's always a problem when some kids are invited and some aren't -- but I don't think it makes it better by inviting some kids to part of the event and some kids to the other part of the event.
There will always be less kids than you think show up, but if the restriction is 25, and you have a class of 45 -- I wouldn't take the chance (as some have suggested), of just inviting everyone.
Let him build more friendships next year when he's in the mainstreamed class 3rd grade class. But I wouldn't make this event about that goal
Do not invite part of the class. Invite his special friends, and move on.
It doesn't sound like a good idea to me. One hour is not enough time to get the first half of people in and out without them seeing some of the kids changing into swimsuits. What if people linger around and see the others coming with their swimming suits on. They will feel left out. Just think about how your son would feel if he was invited to a party and didn't get to stay for the swimming part. At my house there would be hurt feelings and tears. I think you should save yourself the stress and only invite the allotted number of kids to swim.
Hello, What a great idea to have the "special needs" children come first. That could make them feel so special. I think it is a good idea.
Good luck with your precious little boy.
K. K.
I would just invite everyone. Some will not come. I might even consider changing the venue and requesting the money back since they were not up front about the size limitations.
one hour is not much time - for a party or for swimming. I would not try to have 2 parties -- it will just get complicated. What happens at the one hour mark? you have to kick one group out and welcome another? what if the second group shows up a little early? what if the first group wants to swim too? Feelings will get hurt and kids wont understand - I would invite his friends and go with that. Good luck!
