Party Etiquette-Would It Be Rude to Bring Our Own Entree?

I know how you feel! I am going to an event next Friday that will serve pizza and cookies. Perhaps you could bring a large salad to share, with whatever you two eat for protein in it.

I guess i'm just rude, but I'm okay with that when it came to my own health/weightloss. When I was undergoing my dieting/weightloss (60 lbs) I would always bring my own entree so I wouldn't give into temptation. My will power was always hanging by a thread, that I knew if I caved even a little, it would all be down hill. Everyone knew I was dieting and trying to lose weight - no one seemed to be offended at bringing my own food.

I agree with Rose. The graceful solution is to bring a salad or some healthy appetizers (a veggie platter with pita and hummus, a salad with chicken etc.) that you can make a meal out of and that others can nibble on as a side dish.

I like Rose's idea, because it's not only something you can eat, but also something everybody else can share. That's contributing to the whole party, and some other adults might be very thankful for you! Of course, you need to ask.

Otherwise, it is kind of tacky to bring your own food - although sometimes a party is casual enough, and the group members know one another well enough, to get away with it. My friends with food allergies sometimes bring something when we can't accommodate their allergies in the menu. When we go to a barbecue or picnic at the home of good friends, my husband always takes his own drinks along, because he's diabetic and can't usually drink what the hosts are serving (frequently sugar sodas or alcoholic drinks). What I usually do, if it's just that the menu isn't for me, is to eat at home before leaving for the party, so that I'm not very hungry when we arrive and I don't mind letting someone else have my pizza (or whatever).

Another vote for Rose's suggestion! And I would also like to add that you should probably tell your sister about your plan. This way, she can order a little less pizza, knowing that you and your husband won't be eating it.

I was going to make the same suggestion, as Rose. Bring something large enough to share.

You can sneak out for a quick bite or absolutely, bring your own. I would understand. In fact, I used to buy veggie burgers for my sister when I invited her to our parties.

Even though I try to accommodate them, my friends who come to our events always bring a dish they can eat but they bring enough to pass. I have 2 vegan friends, 2 Jewish friends, and 2 who are allergic to dairy, nuts, soy, wheat and gluten. I always have fresh veggies and fruit then they will bring a dish to pass.

ETA: Well there are times when it pays to read ahead, eh?? sorry..I gave a duplicate answer!! Rose - GREAT idea!!!
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I would call my sister and ask if I could bring a big salad...as salad goes GREAT with pizza!!!

I'm a big salad fan and would love to contribute to a party any way I can...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your niece!!!

Good luck on your diet!

My mother lost a great deal of weight (110lbs) and always brings her food with her. Doesn't bother me in the least.
L.

I think we are all pretty much in agreement with Rose :)
Just for the record though, I dont' think you would be rude to bring your own food. When it comes to your health, you do what you need to do. Bringing your own food is much better than expecting the host to find something that suites your needs!

The only way that bringing your own meal would NOT be rude would to be if you had a serious allergy that would prevent you from eating what they are having. (I have to bring special treats for my youngest child with Celiac disease, and of course everyone understands!)

But yes, YOU doing it would be rude. Part of dieting and losing weight is learning to indulge when it's appropriate...like at a birthday party...and say no on Thursday night to that pizza or Saturday at midnight to that cupcake. The time TO have those things is next week at your niece's birthday party.

One night of pizza and cupcake will not ruin your diet. You can have ONE slice of pizza and ONE cupcake, and that's really, all in all, not SO bad. :) Have fun and eat well.

(And of course, NOW that I scrolled down to read the popular answer I realize mine won't be. That's okay. I suppose bringing a salad for all to share is also a viable idea, but I do think it's important to learn how to indulge appropriately because cold turkey off all "junk" food will eventually lead to failure in a diet.)

what i would do is eat beforehand. let the kids enjoy the party. if there's one thing i've learned about dieting and trying to lose weight - it is NO ONE's responsibility but my own. i would not expect anyone to cater to our needs. if i don't have the willpower to handle myself without causing a fuss and potentially embarrassing or offending people, then there's a problem. (and yes, if you KNOW that your family will be cool with it, ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE lol. no offense rose but good lord did we need 30 answers saying "read rose's answer?" lol!)

i don't think it's rude at all. in fact, i think it's very courteous of you to come to the party and provide your own food rather than expect her to, or be resentful that there's nothing there for you.
when my brother was vegan he'd come to family events with stuff he knew he could eat. i would also make sure there were a couple of vegan dishes, but it was smart to make sure that he had things he loved.
you are a considerate guest.
:) khairete
S.

I think it's fine to bring something, but I would definitely pass it off as your "contribution" to the party, not just a dish for you and husband. Make some extra in case others want some too.

In the interest of your good health-and the assumption that it is not a formal, sit-down pizza party for the 3 yr old children-I would say-take your special entree-I really admire you! Good for you!

Bringing a salad would be a good idea, or since its family, just offer to pitch in on the pizza if she can order one or two of them thin crust extra veggies or some sort of diet pizza. Its expensive to buy pizza for a large crowd so Im sure she wouldnt mind having you throw in and other people would probably enjoy a healthy option as well.

Rose's suggestion.
Or plan on stopping in a fast food place for a salad on your way home. The kids can play in the play thing (if they have one) while you and hubs eat. :)

I would eat before the party.

I love Rose's suggestion.

you and hubby should eat a meal as you drive there (such as sandwiches and fresh veggies) and hit a drive thru or have snacking foods for on the way home if needed. Let your kids eat the pizza there and at most bring veggies or fruit to share with everyone.

PS I totally did not see Rose's answer, lol. If you bring something though give a heads up to the host. You never know she may have thought of you and put out salad, fruit and veggies and with some cheeses

If you go with the suggestion to bring a salad but ask your sister ahead of time (and have extras for others), I think you are fine. I would not apply the dressing ahead of time but maybe just before the party starts (or just let them apply as the want so leftovers aren't ruined).

Otherwise, eat before you go. Allow the kids to choose (eat before or at the party). I don't personally feel eating a slice of pizza will hurt anyone (unless you are allergic to it) but that is your choice to make.

While your sister may know that you don't eat pizza now, she is having a party for her child and most kids LOVE pizza and it's easy/no hassle to have. You probably couldn't please everyone anyway.

I have a relative that will bring her own burgers and hotdogs to our bbq. Complain about the cost of potatoes to make the potatoe salad I asked her to bring (and then only bring a small bowl) but also show up with the meat, baked beans (even when I said we already had someone bringing them), watermellon (yep, had that covered too), and a few others things. When she puts stuff on her plate, the only thing she actually didn't bring was the bun. This is not due to an allergy but rather her being super picky and difficult...even when I get the brand of hotdogs she likes, I didn't get it from the right store!

If you bring your own thing and don't make a big deal out of it hardly anyone will notice nor care.
I quit smoking a little over a month ago, so I have limited myself to who I hang out with and for how long and where and what to drink--- I dont want to ruin my quit.
Do what is best for YOU, you are doing a healthy thing and its never rude to bring your own food in my opinion. Just dont put a spotlight on yourself.

I would either eat before the party or make a healthy dish that is big enough to share.

In our family we always offer to take something to family parties...not rude at all IMO to take a platter of veggies and hummus for example. We were on Atkins for a long time and what I'd do is eat before I went out so I wasn't ravenous, and offer to bring something which I could then ensure was healthy (NOT telling the host that her stuff is unhealthy). I might have a small helping of whatever the host was offering, too - a small piece of pizza at a party is OK, 2 or 3 slices as a meal is a different story if you're dieting.

Eat before you go and have a light snack there--like veggies and dip etc. Don't bring your own food.

Yep, I noticed everyone liked Rose's answer, so I scrolled down to read, and YES I agree. Great idea. Let your sis know ahead of time so she can have forks. And if it were me, I'd go ahead and dress the salad with a nice low-fat vinegrette with cucumber, carrot, olives, nuts. Doing so would make it easier than having people fuddle with bottles of dressing.

But before reading Rose's answer, I was going to say to eat your dinner (or a small snack) before-hand at 3:00 or 3:30 or whatever. When party is done and you are home or back in the car, you can eat a protein bar or whatever other snack you eat. I mean, beef jerky fits in your purse. It'll fill you up (protein) with very low calories (Costco's chunks are approx 80 calories each). It's not like you will starve to death if you show up at 4, eat nothing (or eat maybe half a slice of pizza), then eat at 8 or 9pm when you get home.

I think pizza is pretty okay myself. It has a lot of carbs for sure though.

i would simply eat a full meal before I go. Let the kids eat there but you and hubby just stop for a few minutes before you leave the house and eat. Do not eat a snack, eat a meal. That way you won't be tempted so much.

Another thing you could do is to eat a late lunch that day then you guys eat a big snack that fills you us. The kids can just eat something simple that won't last too long.

I would eat a largish, late lunch around 2 - 3pm and have a light meal/snack at home after the party around 8pm. And bring a platter of veggies to the party to serve alongside the pizza...I'm sure your sis will appreciate it. Keep a glass of water in one hand and a veggie stick in the other at all times to avoid the temptation of picking up a slice of pizza.

Rose's answer is great! You could also eat before you go, or on the way. We have been there many times. My husband does the south beach diet from time to time and his family usually has tons of desert and lots of fattening foods for parties! (all the yummy stuff LOL)
He'd always bring his chicken breast and side and eat with everyone, just his own meal. Not a big deal I think. Most people wouldn't prefer the super low fat dish over the pizza anyways!

ok first i agree with rose and second i 'm glad someone said how pizza can be a trigger food, because i honestly don't see one peice as that horrible, I would be more worried about you eating cake. but if the pizza is one of those foods that you wouldn't quit eating after one slice then I guess i get it. and good for you for stickign to your diet,

as long as you handle it senitively and not make the party and the food all about you the way some of my relations have, it should be fine.

Rose's idea is great, but if that doesn't work (ie, it's too much to get a big salad together) you and your husband could just have a late lunch that day, without the kids.
That way you and hubby are satisfied, and the kids still get to have pizza and cupcakes :)

I would be reluctant to actually bring an entree for just the two of you, but maybe you could offer to bring a large salad or healthy appetizer. Then you and hubby could eat more of what you bring and maybe just one piece of pizza so that you have had "dinner" then have a healthy snack when you get home if you guys are still hungry.

ETA: SORRY - I didn't see Rose's suggestion before I answered!