Hello-
Over the past couple years, there have been some diet changes in our family/extended family. Two of my cousins (& thier families) have gone totally vegan. My sons birthday party is coming up and we are on a very tight budget-we are serving chicken, potato salad and corn on the cob. My other son has a gluten (wheat) & casein (dairy) allergy. We are making this party totally gluten/dairy free so he can just go up and grab whatever he wants to eat in his own home-since usually he cannot have what everyone else is having when we go to a party-we bring pretty much his whole meal separately. Side note: gluten is used as a filler in almost EVERYTHING that has ever been through some type of food plant. :(
What do you do when you have a party and you know that there will be guests who won't be able to eat the food you are serving? As of right now, our vegan family members will only be able to eat the corn on the cob. Last year, I didn't realize they were vegan and I just happened to have some veggie burgers in the freezer that we made for them. They were extremely gracious and said they go to parties all the time where they don't eat-but to me, that just seems rude & I feel bad that they aren't eating when everyone else is. What would you do?
Thanks in advance!!
You could make the potato salad with olive oil and vinegar - skip the mayo (which contains eggs) and I think that would be ok. If you are grilling - why not just grill some veggie skewers. They would be gluten and cassein free as well as vegan. If the budget is a big issue - grilled veggies instead of chicken would probably satisfy everyone (and this time of year may be cheaper than chicken).
I have very good vegan friends. They're like family to me, and I do try to have food for them. I live in an area where it is difficult to find a lot of vegan options (no Whole Foods or "Health Food" stores nearby). They are never offended when I ask them to bring something for themselves. They actually appreciate when I tell them what we are having so they can try to bring something similar for their kids to enjoy. I do like the vegetarian baked beans suggestion, too. They are pretty cheap, heat and serve, and everyone (except those with gluten allergy, I think) can enjoy them. Good luck, have fun, and thanks for thinking of everyone! (I'm vegetarian, and I really appreciate when there is SOMETHING for me to eat, though I don't expect it!)
Invite them to bring a vegan dish or 2 to share with the whole family! Just make sure that you either ask them to be aware of the gluten or make sure your son doesn't eat those dishes.
Honestly, we had a dinner party last year and one of our guests was on a strict macrobiotic diet. She called me ahead of time and offered to bring a dish to share that met her dietary requirements, but that was tasty and others might enjoy so that I didn't have to worry. I happily accepted her offer and it was a great dish!
I agree with other posters. Since its family, I would have no qualms saying "feel free to bring a dish to share or your own Grilling item we can toss on there for you (veggie burger, veggie skewers, etc)".
I love how you will be making it all so you son can eat what he wants in his own home. I am sure that is a rare thing and that freedom for him will make for a fun day!
As far as alternate diets in general, maybe I am rude overall, but honestly I can not keep up with everyone! My circle of friends and family is rather small and the same. Even if its not a specific food allergy or vegan, etc....I have some who are the exact opposite food likes/choices and will absolutely NOT eat any veggie or fruit, unless its a potato. Seriously, hubby has several friends like this. We call them them "Carnivore Gang". But I refuse to cater to them either. I try to offer a variety when I do entertain (rare in itself) of meatless items, veggie things, pasta, meat-loaded, a few treats, etc.
I recently attended a family lakeside party. They always serve what I deem "unhealthy" foods, but offered the "feel free to bring a dish to share". Sure enough, the menu was cheap hot dogs, buns, baked beans, bulk potato salad and a few bags of chips along with a doctored up pasta salad (loaded with cheese chunks and mayo). I do not process dairy well...and my daughter and I are calorie counting, so the menu was basically out for us. So we ate before we left, and brought a few huge bowls of melons to share. They were gone in minutes! My point is, I did not expect them to alter their budget or menu for my food needs as a guest...I prepared and planned ahead (by eating before I left, and bringing something I COULD eat and share during the event)
Good luck and have a fun day!
I would have whatever menu I wanted to have and add some fruit and veggies platters to the buffet. They are sure to appreciate the effort on your part.
If you can afford a few more things maybe just put together a fruit salad. Everybody loves fruit salad!
When I do a party I always, always include some type of salad.
You can buy only one box of baby spinach, put aside a nice ginger lemon dressing. A plate with sliced tomatoes seasoned with pepper, salt, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and fresh basil. The two options together his will cost you less than $10 dlls (assuming you already have olive oil and balsamic vinegar in your house) and you would have been super nice and thoughfull.
Personally at all my parties I include a plate with grapes... they always fly off the table, there is never one grape left, everybody loves to have fresh fruit..... A lot of kids favor bananas and a few like apples... so a plate with a lot of grapes, maybe 6 bananas and 3 apples will look beautiful on the table and give options to everybody... again this would not be expensive at all... maybe another 10 dlls max.
Good luck and have fun at your party!
You do not have to cater to them. I would maybe call them up or drop them a quick e-mail saying that here is the menu but feel free to bring along a dish of their own if they want something else. Maye throw in a cheap lettuce salad, something else that people can fill up on.
That is very nice of you to consider them. I'm sure if you had a fruit and veggie platter out, that would keep most everyone with limitations satisfied. Maybe even a small salad bar?
I'm a picky eater (I don't eat most processed foods/trans fats, etc...) and I do NOT expect people to cater to me. I eat before the party or bring my own food. The only thing that bothers me is when people get annoyed or think I'm being rude. It's not like I stand on a soap-box and say to everyone, "Do you KNOW what's in that??????" I try to be discreet about bringing along a sandwich so that I don't have to eat a hotdog. Most people in my family are not healthy-eaters so they call me "fanatical". Oh well!!
I would include a note to her and just say. We really want you guys to attend however we really have to stick to our budget. The only "vegan" food we will be offering is corn on the cob. Could you possibly bring something for yourself not to share?? Thanks for understanding.
If you can fix a anti-pasta - great!! if not - then seem to understand..
In my opinion, you are NOT being rude...you are on a tight budget and your son's health comes first...theirs is a CHOICE not a health issue...so they can bend...
It is YOUR party and while, like you, I like to ensure everyone is taken care of - their CHOICE to be vegan is something I can accommodate IF I CAN AFFORD IT and my own immediate family is not endangered....I know I sound mean and rude - but its my job to take care of my family...if they had diabetic or health concerns, then I would do my best to accommodate...but this is a CHOICE not a health thing...
Here is a link to a vegan website - http://vegweb.com/ - if you can afford to make one of these - great...if not - don't stress
GOOD LUCK!!
Since it is family, I would have no qualms about calling them and just sharing the facts and ask them if they would like to bring something,e tc as Krista P suggested.
Have fun!
You can buy a pkg of Boca Vegan Burgers for very little money. I'd do it. You sow what you reap and it will be a good investment in family harmony.
Buy some veggie burgers and make some vegetarian baked beans(it come sin a can and is on the shelf right next to the regular beans that are made with lard or bacon) and call it a day. For the $5 this will cost you, it will give you peace of mind and you will appear the hero. I am sure when you make the effort they will reciprocate with your son when he comes to theirs. You will know you have done the right thing.
I agree with the others that you should contact them in advance of the party (so they have a chance to plan accordingly as well) and let them know what you are serving and that if it doesn't meet their needs that they are welcome to bring whatever else they wish, except that you would prefer it be gluten free (for the reasons that you stated in your post).
Additionally, I would add provide some extra veggies (low cost) and include them in the list of items you are serving when you talk to your cousins. It wouldn't cost much of anything to buy a bag of carrots, a celery clump and 3 or 4 zuchinni and/or yellow squash. ($6 total at most any grocery store, probably less at Walmart or a farmers market). Peel and slice the carrots and celery into sticks (and maybe some hummus for dipping? check labels for gluten or make your own) and slice the squash, skewer and grill them with some olive oil. That would pretty much just leave the "main dish" for them if they choose to bring their own. You could let them know how you are preparing the chicken (grilled/oven baked?) and that they are welcome to throw whatever they bring on the grill/in the oven.
