Parents Vs. Kid Free in the Workplace

opinions are like A**holes everyone has one, good or bad we are not always going to agree but we can express our dislike for the negativity and request they refrain from that line on conversation

I have a good friend who is kid free. The thing of it is, it wasn't really a choice. Life sort of happened and her relationship didn't work out and she was never ready or in the right place to have children and now she is fairly mature and not in a relationship. So she keeps making sour grape type remarks about how she chose not tot have kids. I have known her for years so I know the truth. And I know we have been through this before. She is coming to terms with her life, sometimes by bashing the life she didn't have that at different points she may have wanted. I let it roll, it says more about her than me.

Our culture is not really very child friendly, and we are not supportive of mothers with jobs outside the home. When we all grow up about these issues someday maybe we will learn to be nice to each other about it.

We have a differant issue. Us vs them type thing. The kid free girls resent the moms for taking time off to register the kids, go to school events, or when they're sick. They don't realize that we lose vacation time to do that. So, when they get 2 whole weeks a year and get to go to Costa Rica on a dive trip or some other wonderful thing, we use ours up going to school events.
They also resent the implication that since they have no kids, they have no life. For instance, boss will be looking for a volunteer to work late and all the moms say, oh i can't, i have to pick up my kids form daycare. The girls with no kids feel the insiuation is that they should do it, since they don't have kids. But I'm too busy thinking about picking my kids up to insiuate anything! All they have to say is, No, I already made plans. So, there is a little friction now and then. They smile insincerely and pretend to be interested when we go on and on about little johnnys newest annecdote. And we smile insincerely while we pretend to be sympathetic about their latest "tragedy" such as - "omg can you believe the resort forgot to book our couples massage onthe beach? I was so upset, Why do bad things always happen to me!"

I found that there was a lot of resentment in the workplace when people were asked to stay late or come in early for things beyond the normal work schedule. We people with kids could make arrangements if enough notice was given however if it was spur of the moment then no sorry. Some people understood that we moms were using our pto for kid things.

In the 15 yrs I worked in the office I never actually took a week off and went somewhere. It was always used for dr apts or school programs and field trips. And I'll freely admit that it was hard for me to muster up any sympathy about their 2 week vacation in Hawaii that was a disaster because the bellhop took an extra 5 minutes to bring up their bags and the maid didn't leave 8 extra towels in the room. Or their latest boyfriend drama because the ones with boyfriend drama always seemed to be overly dramatic.

I don't get nasty comments at all. I am a school administrator, which ironically means I am surrounded by women who never got around to having children b/c they were working so hard in their 20's and 30's that it just didn't happen. Things have changed notably in the last 20 years, but these woman will openly state that they regret not having children, which is really the only negativity I hear.

I find that my coworkers are wonderfully accommodating when it comes to my child and things that need to happen for/with him. In fact, I came in an hour late today b/c I was at his Mother's Day Breakfast. In the same vain, though, I am very conscious about not using the "you don't understand b/c you're not a parent" line either. Respect goes both ways!

Once I was working where they chose a woman as my helper who kept not showing up to work, running errands during the day because it was "too hard" to do with kids around, and causing others to do her job. Believe me, it wasn't against parents with kids..it was against bad workers who use their kids as excuses to be deadbeats.

People that don't have kids do not understand (completely) the responsibility, love and sacrifice that happens when you DO have kids. Ever. O. day, if they become parents--they will "get it"!

The best thing to do is make sure your job duties, hours, etc are not unfairly impacting your work. Set a good example!

I see both points. When I was single I had a real problem gettign up in the mornign for my job. I was a night person and so staying up late was a natural thing. I tried to go to bed early it just wasn't for me. So if I showed up late it was because I was out partying the night before. That used to bother me since I usually worked 2 jobs fulltime at the time. No one bothered to ask and I never talked about my personal life but the assumption was yes, I needed to stay late, no I can't go to a doctors appointment during work another co-worker had to pick up their kid and I needed to schedule my things on my own time. So in a way to me at that time there was a double standard. If I called in sick wihich I rarely ever did, they assumed I was too drunk and hung over to come in. I got strep throat (from a co-worker) and had to prove that I was sick. Where as a parent just said oh, my kid needs to picked up from school, or my kid is sick, and there were no questions asked, no proof was demanded. So yes I see your point as well but try to think of the double standard from their point. Now that I am a parent I am sure that I will be seeing a lot more from your point, when I go back to work.

Pure Jealousy. People only criticize others on stuff like that when they aren't totally happy themselves. When it happens again, think of your family and how lucky you are. Maybe it'll make it easier to ignore.

I have not yet come across that problem yet in regards to the nasty comments ... I have been involved in the conversations where we joke about the horrors of parenthood and asking why this was done on purpose etc but it is all in love and the need to vent.

I work for a parenting magazine and had to take my 5yo into the office for a couple of hours today. It was the 1st time everyone met her, my boss even found her some markers and set-up a little area in HER office to color and play. They chatted the whole time. It was really sweet. But remember, I work for a parenting magazine, so pretty much everyone has kids and it is all women.