Overactive Imagination or Anxiety?

As a recovering alcoholic, I had to learn to "stay present". These questions are all in the future.

Bad things will happen, but there is no amount of worrying that will help you control life, outcomes or others. All of these things are outside of your control.

So the trick is to change the negative L. gremlin in your head. I did it slowly and over time, by not playing with it. Like my sponsor said - treat your head like a bad neighborhood - don't go in there alone! :)

Next time an irrational fear pops up in your head - don't answer. Don't participate. Go watch tv. Go play with your kid. Go iron. Anything that doesn't involve playing "what if".

Next time after that - do the same thing. Until eventually, the L. gremlin realizes you won't play and her L. assinine suggestions of death and dismemberment become more and more rare.

I do this too and, although I think I'm in the minority here, I think it's normal and in fact a very therapeutic thing to do. It gives you the chance to experience some of the thoughts and emotions associated with such a tragic loss in a safe way, so that some day if it does happen, you can be prepared, know the steps and emotions you're going to go through. In a way it's a dry run. I say unless it's really bothering you, indulge in your fantasy, it's not hurting anyone, and may actually help you cope if tragedy does come your way.

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I do this too and, although I think I'm in the minority here, I think it's normal and in fact a very therapeutic thing to do. It gives you the chance to experience some of the thoughts and emotions associated with such a tragic loss in a safe way, so that some day if it does happen, you can be prepared, know the steps and emotions you're going to go through. In a way it's a dry run. I say unless it's really bothering you, indulge in your fantasy, it's not hurting anyone, and may actually help you cope if tragedy does come your way.

Haha, I thought it was just me that did this!

I just notice when I'm doing it, nip it in the bud and tell myself to stop it! Start thinking of something else, something nicer.

I think it's one way of affirming to ourselves how important these people are to us, how much we love and would miss them... (of course that would be wasted if we snapped at them when they got home for causing us worry that *they* didn't cause, LOL)

First off, ((hugs)). Having thoughts like these, although bothersome and typically unwarranted, also showcase your deep care for those you love. In your mind, try to focus on the good qualities these feeling show that are within you. Then, take those good qualities (such as your caring nature) and find other ways to express them. Make an attempt to replace your worry with a therapeutic actions such a baking a special treat for that person, writing a note of gratitude for them or even helping them in some way. This will help associate a positive action with the positive attribute you already have within yourself. While this is something you can try for now, I also know that this can take time and require a fairly strong will. You may want to look into Bach Flower Remedies. Here is a link to the questionnaire and website with more detailed information. http://www.bachflower.com/questionnaire.htm
They are a wonderful all natural way to encourage emotional stability. They are quite specific and I have been using them with fairly good results for the past 6 months. For myself they have worked wonderfully, my son also responds well to them. My husband, who has deeper rooted issues has show good progress, although it is taken more time with him. Please let us know what and how things work out for you. I know many people have the same feelings (I did as well for a time). If you find the feelings unbearable be sure to speak with your doctor. As Wide Eyed Girl said, hand it over to God. I found a wonderful reference in the bible that helped me through my "worry phase". It said there is a difference between worry and concern. Worry is a lack of faith. Concern is a call to action. If your worrying, your being temped to question your faith. If your concerned, you will feel compelled to take action, not simply think it over and over and over. I hope this helps. God bless.

I think it's absolutely a place we all go from time to time... the "imagine if" that can bring you to tears.

I agree that it's ok, even theraputic, every once in a while, since we are tempted to explore our emotions and reactions to the truly tragic. But bottom line is we don't ever know how we'd do in these situations until they happen, so what's the point? Maybe we do it as a way to point out the good in our lives? Who knows?

Going rogue with our imaginations like this shouldn't happen often and shouldn't be something that begins to wear on you. When I notice I'm getting too 'dark', I show some discipline and change the mood/subject and go to the complete other end of the spectrum.

Instead of going to the dark place, go the light. Count your blessings. Relive your favorite memories. Meditate on the positive, beauty, happiness that surrounds you. (Even if it means looking at a beautiful movie, book, magazine, photo albums, website etc.) It works!

Stay positive mama!

I think the answer depends on whether these thoughts are affecting your daily activity or keeping you from living your life the way you want.

Personally, I "daydream" about these kinds of morbid things more than I would like. But for me it just feels like the normal anxiety and worry that comes with being a parent. I will go through all the events following the imagined tragedy, just like you describe.

Once my husband was carrying my son over a bridge. And the railing was not as high as my son was (my husband is tall), and I just kept imagining my husband tripping or my son throwing a sudden tantrum and falling over into the black water of the harbor. And how he would just sink because he was so young, and how they'd search for him, etc. My imagination is very vivid and that scenario I created still haunts me. But, personally I don't feel like I need professional help. This is just my way of worrying.

I've had thoughts like these, but less in recent years. Someone told me to stop and connect with your children/husband and the feelings will pass. It works. Just go watch your children sleep, or go hug them or something and you will be right back in the present, connected in a loving, happy, positive way. Then you (your mind) will get out of the habit of doing it. :) Hugs!

I do that too sometimes. Sometimes when I drove over a bridge I would imagine that my car would go off the bridge and figure out how I would get both of my daughters' out of their car seats and out of the water. Now that they are older I don't do it was much. I think children really make us aware of our mortality and our responsibility to them.

You are not alone. My mind wanders like this all the time. I am battling anxiety and depression (PPA&D) but what I found that helps is God. Hand over to God all your anxieties and worries, if you do he will help you trust in him and give you faith. It's worked for me. God Bless;)

i used to do this all of the time and occasionally do but mostly I realize that 1. if the phone IS ringing off the hook thats ussually when something is wrong not the lack of calls. 2. that my worries should not rule my life and that there is nothing tha can be done and to enjoy the time I have. I really don't worry that much anymore about these things.
My ex used to constantly and so did my dad and when i got distance from them i realized i was acting on their fears.
The thing thats bad about people like this is if you let it control you and others it becomes a hassle. My ex wants M. to check in constantly with my daughter and lectures M. on when to take the xmas tree down (fear of fire) and when to do everything that could possibly cause some type of accident, yet I have her most of the time??! odd right. anywho its not bad if you don't expect others to cater to your worries.
My dad does this and gives guilt trips if i dont cater to his every need to calm his worries. He doesnt realize that M. calling five times a day won't prevent anything and that its all self centered to expect M. to revolve my day around his worries. (odd thing is he never called when I was growing up and he was drunk at the bar)
Anway you don't mention doing the above, but J. wanted to add J. in case you do let it affect others=)

Does this happen to me? Sometimes, but rarely. Just being honest here. I worry about my family, but not to the point that I find myself in tears and ready to call the local funeral home to book a date.

If this happens all the time then it's probably anxiety. I think we all jump to unlikely conclusions when it comes to our family and loved ones. However, if you are working yourself into tears because he didn't answer a text fast enough to the point that you are planning his funeral... yikes.

If this is happening on the rare occassion that he doesn't get back to you quickly (like he normally would) or you don't hear from your mom for several days after her saying she would "call you right back", then that's pretty normal.

Paralyzing fear that causes real emotional reactions is not typical. Not saying you need to medicate for it, but it may be time to consider some relaxation techniques or other ways to calm yourself when this happens.

I find my mind wandering like this mostly when I'm in a depressive episode. When it's under control my mind doesn't carry these types of scenarios that far.

I think this is how anxiety really starts. Be aware of it. But also, consider that adults use their imaginations as much as children do - we just always use it to imagine the negative.

When you find your mind wandering this way, tell yourself to Stop! - either in your head or outloud. And then start to think about what is mostly likely. You said your husband has his phone on vibrate a lot, so he doesn't hear it. When you start down the path of "what if..." stop, and think about that - his phone is always on vibrate, he's probably having a great time/in a meeting/etc. and will call me back.

Well my mind does wander like that occasionally, only not that far as to dream about speaking at a funeral. Sometimes I worry about my husband and mom too, because they are out of my sight for long periods of time, and my husband travels some too, so I worry about wrecks all the time. But you just have to say a prayer for them, put it out of your mind, and put it in God's hands. My husband did end up having a horrible wreck earlier this year in really bad weather, and he could easily have died, in fact, they were surprised he survived a wreck as bad as it was, and he only had 5 stitches and walked away. So a lot of times, it has to be mind over matter. And if you can't do that, it may be anxiety. But I bet way in the back of your mind, you know your husband or mom will call back before you know it. So maybe your thoughts are just getting the best of you.