I have a 2.5 yo son who has been very emotional the past few days. He is getting plenty of rest and has always been a good sleeper, but he gets very upset over (what I think are) little things. He gets upset over his friend playing with a toy, taking a toy, not being able to open a door on his own, etc. Is this normal or a phase or something else?
I am adding a bit more to this question now! He also says no to 90% of the time..I am telling him that it is not nice to say no to mommy all the time and have started putting him in the naughty spot when he says it to me (when appropriate). I know this is a phase too, but are there any other suggestions?
Welcome to 3s!
The bad news? It's going to worse before it gets better. The good news? How you respond to him and this behavior can somewhat shape it.
He's discovering his own independent world, and wants to be in control of it. Therefore, things get a lot more frustrating when something doens't go his way!
Please ask your pediatrician's office today for some recommendations for good books on toddler developmental stages. This should help reassure you that this behavior is totally normal. He's not "over emotional" -- he is two years old, barely out of babyhood and still not able to understand much beyond "I want what I want when I want it, and I want it NOW." Children this age are often easily frustrated (I want to open the door and I can't), easily jealous (You have MY toy and I want it back even if I was totally ignoring it until I saw you with it) and so on. He does not have any experience to tell him that there are ways to react other than by getting upset.
Most of all -- please do not expect more from him than he is able to achieve at his age and his stage. If you think a two-year-old should be able to control his emotions when another child takes a toy, please do read some reputable books about child development and you'll see that he is just not there yet and no child his age would be there yet. Through well-informed parenting you'll teach him how to channel frustrations and cope when things don't go his way. For starters, distract and redirect him instantly in the situations you listed here: If a friend's playing with his toy and he suddenly wants that toy, distract his attention with another one. And so on.
It's not a matter of needing sleep or being "bad" or wanting intentionally to upset mom - it is typical for a child of two who is still learning about his world.
I think it would be great for you to consider taking a class on developmental stages. It is offered online so you can take it at your own time/place/pace. This class teaches the stages through the lens of brain development---the most important of all. You'll then know just how things should be going and when AND have the chart to help you remember as time passes.
http://www.parentswithpurpose.com/index.php?option=com_co...
This is totally normal! It's not even a "phase" - it's just what's developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old. At 2, he can't control his emotions completely yet and he will definitely have problems with sharing toys - especially his favorite toys. If there's a special toy that he loves, please put it away before the friend comes to play so that he's not forced to share it. He can share his other toys which he's not so dearly attached to. Crying when unable to open a door is because mentally, he wants to be more indpendent but physically being unable to open the door is making him frustrated. Give him extra love, help him to open the door (don't open it for him - help him to open it) and celebrate together saying "you did it!" when he opens it with help.
Definitely, definitely do not make your child feel bad for crying. He's not being overemotional! And I relaly like the idea of you getting a book on child development to see what is and isn't normal for kids that age.
This is a terribly frustrating age for kidlets – they have begun to understand how many wonders and activities are available, but they don't yet have the motor skills to do most of them, or don't get permission or help to do them. As your son learns more words to express his emotional state and gradually develops a greater sense of self-control, these frustrations will begin to fade.
Here's a great techniqued offered by Dr. Harvey Karp, author of a helpful book, The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Watch a few quick videos about his approach: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ1428uYs2g&NR=1&a.... . He demonstrates exactly how he "speaks" the toddler's language so they know he's heard the need they are expressing. This calms them and makes it easier for them to cooperate.
Join the club...my son is like this too and he is now 3. I keep wondering when this phase? will end. I keep doing the same thing and hope my consistency will pay off. I tell him that when he is overly emotional that I can't understand him, ask him to calm down and tell me what wrong.
