Over Come a Death?

I strongly reccomend taking her to see a grief counselor. My son had a similar situation and it did wonders for him.

books are always a great way to help people (not just kids) when they are going through hard times. search amazon.com for books on that subject-you can find good reviews there, and if you don't want to order them, go to the library and check them out.
sometimes also journaling or drawing can help, though it sounds as if your daughter is verbal...which is great because that means she's not keeping it all in!

p.s. what is the "choking game?"

i don't kno how religious u r but prayer is always helpful. taking ur child 2 church may also help. if u need any1 2 talk 2 or just need a friend, let me kno.

Let her talk. My good friend died Oct 2005 from cancer and at 1st I talked about her none stop. A sudden death is shocking. I think dreaming about the perosn is also her way of dealing with the loss. She will be ok, let her talk about it.

First let me say I am sorry for your daughter loss. My son lost he best friend 2 months ago, and he still is grieving. The only thing you can do is be there allow her time and when she wants to talk be open about it. Greiving is a process and takes time. if she wants to got the funeral let her but be there for her and dont make her go if she not ready. let the school know so they can have guidance counselor on hand. Keep an eye on her, but don't let her completely withdraw from her life either. best of luck!

I have never heard of the choking game. It sounds scary to me . I am sorry that your dd lost her friend to this game. I think that is good she talks about it. It is better for her to talk about it then hold it in.

talking is her way to sort things out
listen, listen, listen and give advice/comfort
find out exactly how it works and explain it- as bad as it is taking the unknown away is better than what she maybe thinking
have her write him a letter for closure.

She needs to talk about it, with either a school counselor or a therapist. Sometimes talking to mom and dad is not enough. See how your health insurance can help. Good luck to you.

HI C.

FIRST OOF ALL I'M SORRY FOR WHAT YR DAUGHTER IS GOING THROUGH, IT HARD ENOUGH AS ADULT DEALING WITH A DEATH, I THINK IT MORE TRAUMATIC FOR A CHILD. YOU DIDN'T SAY IF THEY WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL, IF THEY DO THEY SHOULD HAVE SOME KIND OF HELP FOR THESE CHILDREN THAT LOST A CLASSMATE. CONTACT THE SCHOLL COUNSLER TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT YR DAUGHTER IS FEELING AND TO SEE IF THEY CAN HEPL HER DEAL WITH THIS, THERE MAYBE BE OTHER STUDENTS THAT NEED TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELING, MAYBE THEY CAN GET SOME KIND OF GROUP SESSION FOR THESE CHILDREN.

EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OK

K.

im very sorry for your daughters loss but sadly she has to work threw this herslf my bestfriend died and i was so mad at her for leaving me and i still am to this day but eveyday get better wot time she has do deal with this in her own way ask her if she mad at him and if she tell her to write down her feeling and then take her to his grave and let her scream and yell it might just help alittle

Hi, I wouldn't try to get her just to get over it....I know seeing your daughter grieving is upseting at times but everyone has their own way of dealing with Death of a Friend or Loved one. Right now She is Dealing with it Her own way and Its very devastating to Her to loose a Close Friend. Eventually as time goes on You will see some difference, but right now He also could be Contacting and Speaking to her, TOO!
Just stay strong for her and show her support! She will eventually talk to you about whats going on with her when she's ready, but right now this is her way of coping. GOD KNOWS WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER & YOU ARE GOING THRU, JUST BE PRAYFUL & EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE, okay. GOD BLESS, A.

If this just happened, help her make a simple casserole dish to take over to the grieving family. And maybe write a letter to the child's mother about all the good things about this friend. This letter wouldn't be a "comfort-ME letter," it would be a "I will never forget your child" letter. It won't eliminate the grief, only time will do that, but it will help her to respond in a good way to her feelings of grief.

Also, I take it you've discussed "the choking game" and that it's never safe?

I'm sorry for your daughter's loss. Adolescence is not the normal time for death in our culture and its hard for everyone to come to terms with something so sudden and avoidable. I'm very sorry.

Death is dealt with in stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance. Your daughter, in her own time and her own schedule go through all of these phases.

Allow her ample time to talk and just be with you. But please, while allowing her time on her own to come to terms with her sudden loss, don't let her withdraw totally.

Also, generating awareness to the choking game may be therapeutic to your daughter. I was shocked to hear it even existed three years ago. And please get her to some counseling either privately or through the school to help her through if she needs it.

God bless and good luck. Please email if you need anything.