I know opposition is otally normal behavior, to be expected, but this morning, I literally wanted to wrangle my daughter's neck, like Homer. She wakes super earlier, I explain it's still night time. She has been sick, she needs her rest. She fights me on it. Then she starts to yell. I ask her to not yell, so as to not wake her baby brother and father, and then guess what she does? She SCREAMS.
Please someone, tell me how to not get angry when she does things like this. I know reacting only makes it worse, but I have moments, like this morning, when I just can't remain calm. This morning I just told my husband to deal with it.
When my daughter went through the screaming phase, I would laugh at her and tell her to scream louder because I couldn't hear her. She caught on real quick that the screaming would get her nowhere. Problem solved. Of course it's just me and her so I wasn't worried about waking anyone else up.
This is the way kids try to have control over things - it's part of growing up. It's frustrating, but it's normal. Try not to react. Put her in her room until she can calm down - but yes, she will wake others up. She has to not get a reaction - otherwise she will learn that tantrums and screaming get her the attention she wants. Tell her she can scream but it won't help. She'll be in there even longer. Tell her if she is quiet and goes back to sleep or just plays quietly, then you will be rested and able to have special time with her later. If you give in, she will continue.
Terrible two's are nothing compared to three's!! I can't say that I was completely calm at every moment when my daughter was three, but I did learn the art of walking out of a room. One of her favorite things to do to make me crazy was to throw herself on the floor. I would make a point of stepping over her to get out of the room. Eventually, she would get up and go on with her activity. Getting angry is completely normal. Just remember that you are a good mom and this will pass!
The book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan can give you some great tools to deal with your daughters behavior as well as a new way to see her behavior and relate to her.
It can be very, very difficult to keep your cool and calm with an oppositional child. Walking away from the situation and asking your hubby to step in was a GREAT idea -- good for you! But I know you can't always cound on having someone around to help out.
I have an oppositional child. (He does not have an ODD diagnosis, but he's on the extreme far side of the "within limits" scale.) I can offer you hope that, once you find something that seems to work in managing through the situation with your child, you will regain the control you need to feel human (instead of enraged.) Once you have a response technique, you will regain your 'upper hand' and be able to keep cool. You didn't ask for response techniques, so I won't blather on about ideas. You can IM me if you want.
My hope for you is that this is just a stage your daughter is going through!! And I hope that by simply hearing you are NORMAL and you are not alone helps in some way. Do not be too hard on yourself.
At 3 they are testing what they can do and what not. Its why its called the terrible threes. If she gets out of bed to early either let her crawl in with you or put her back in bed. She has to share you with another kid so honestly I don't see why she cannot just crawl in with you for a bit. As for screaming etc time out. She should have a time out chair corner or some area in the house. Put her there per her age. 3 is 3 min. If she gets out dont say anything just put her back and start the 3 minutes again. Yes for a few days it will drive you crazy but she will get the hint. Remember its important not to say or show any reactiion just pick her up and per her there. You can also take away toys etc. Remember though she is probably acting out because there is a new sibling in the house and she has to share. I still the best thing is to give her a certain time that is just hers with you. Like if she wakes up early let her crawl in with you for a bit.
