One More Sleep Question!! Please Please Ideas!!

Updated on June 25, 2010
B.F. asks from Reynoldsburg, OH
6 answers

I apologize for the possible length of this, i will try to use just the facts :) i have an almost 9 mo old who does not sleep. he has always been in our room. he got sick in jan and required being held upright to breathe. he has always been up several times, but before that would go back down in his own space. not so much now. i do want to say that i absolutely don't believe in letting him cry it out! another issue with that is that has a rather super temper so if i let him cry or get himself upset it does not end and takes ages to calm him down. i tried to start him with morning naps in his own crib (own room) - his main napping place is my arms. he is a breastfed baby and relies on that a lot to calm himself. i have been trying other ways to get him back to sleep at night (like bouncing, etc.). He wakes up AT LEAST every two hours, usually more. so he went from taking about an hour nap in his crib to screaming everytime i put him in it. i've also tried having him in it to get used to it even if it's not sleep time. i tried keeping him in his crib for a few nights with me in there. the child was up about every 15 minutes and at some point on night 2 i started hallucinating and gave up. thus, he is back in our room, and unfortunatly often in our bed, which i know is bad, but it gets me sleep. though it is starting to cause problems with my husband and i. and i had never wanted to have any children in our bed. any ideas would be fabulous!!!

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M.K.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Do you have a good routine already down before bedtime and naps? Part of getting them to sleep is doing the same exact routine before hand. Do whatever works for you but be consistant. If it means not going anywhere in the evening for two weeks then do it. Ours is dinner, bath, quiet playtime, book then bed. When our daughter was breastfeeding it replaced the book. Also be consistant with when you put him bed say the same thing like it's bedtime, you need to go to sleep, I'll see you later, goodnight. Does he have something to snuggle with like a small blanket or stuffed animal? Mine has a taggie blanket that helped a lot and comforts her when she's sleeping. When he wakes up is he screaming at the top of his lungs or just fussing? I do not believe in CIO at all but I didn't go running to the room every time she made a noise. I would give her 5-10 mintues to see if she could put herself back to sleep unless she was screaming. Does he take a pacifier? For naps you need to find some sort of routine as well. A calming period before nap which could be anywhere from 30 - 60 minutes prior to the nap.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi there i don't believe in cio either so i got this book by elizabeth pantley that was called no cry sleep solution. i tried to do it but it was way too "soft"? for the lack of a better word. aka. it didn't work at all. so then i tried cio despite my reservations b/c i was dying from lack of sleep and that failed too b/c my baby is also like urs and hard to calm down if really upset. finally, i got good night sleep tight by kim west which is a middle of the road between the two extremes i just mentioned and i have to say, so far, it's been working! it goes into how your baby NEEDS to sleep -- just like you! so you have to teach them how to fall asleep on their own so they can get a good night's rest. but west isn't a proponent of cio. instead, you stay in the room with them but don't pick them up. you just pat them, say shh, etc. and you stay right next to their crib. this way, they cry but they're not getting hysterical b/c ur right there. every 3 days u move further from the crib, still saying shh, etc. until you're out of the room in about a couple of weeks. i had made it to halfway across the room when my baby got sick so i had to let him in my bed again so now i'm back at square one but it seems to work! i NEVER thought it would work but it is..so try getting the book from the library! good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.R.

answers from New York on

i have been there. i nursed all my kids to sleep and it definitely does create a sleep issue. i dont beleive in cio either, i never did it with either of my first 2 kids, i was just up with them all the time, and a lot in my bed. my first is 7 now and he still comes in my bed almost every night. im certainly not saying thats unavoidable, my daughter (almost 5) was in my bed all the time too as a baby, and now she almost never comes in. though maybe thats because my son is already there, but i dont think so, she just likes her space.
......aaaanyway, by the time my 3rd baby was about 10 mos old, he didnt sleep for more than an hour at a time. ever. it was a gradual thing, we were doing just what you are doing and it just got worse and worse until we were down to about 5 hours of sleep total in 24 hours, and no more than an hour at a stretch. it was awful, really, for everyone, and certainly unhealthy for him and i, i was really crazy. plus i had watched some horrible news clip about a mom that rolled over on her baby in bed and killed him, she had been on medication and was fairly overweight, but i couldnt get it out of my head so that was the end of that for me. so, out of desperation, i let him cry it out when he woke up. it took 2-3 nights. i wont lie, it was awful. i still dont believe in it, i think it stinks, i stayed in the shower and cried most of the time while he cried, horrible, but... it worked. after that, he slept better than anyone. i still nursed him to sleep in my arms and put him in, but when he woke up i didnt go in, and he very soon stopped waking up (or woke up and went right back to sleep like we all do). he slept great. he still does. he is still in the crib, i have a crib tent and he goes in, hugs and kisses me, tells me "I zip it up!" and he zips himself in, lays down and goes to sleep, its like a dream, he is going to be 3 tomorrow. it was the first time since i was preggo with my first son that i slept. so, that was my experience... just saying..... lack of sleep is a real problem, its truly unhealthy for everyone, especially the baby, thats when they grow and brain development and all that good stuff. and the damage its doing to you isnt helping you to be the best mom you can be. so if i were you, i would try everything else you can think of, take other people's advice, you never know what will do the trick. (i was still nursing my daughter when i got pregnant with my 3rd, the doc told me to stop nursing her and she was soooo not ready to stop. she didnt know any other way to go to sleep. so i bopped her to sleep in that boppy seat for over an hour every night for a year, until she was so big that it didnt even bop anymore, she just layed there on the floor in it. i swear my left calf is still bigger than my right from all the bopping. ) so, like i was saying, my advice is to try whatever you can, but dont rule out cio if it gets bad. if you go that route, it wont be the last time that you do something you dont believe in for the sake of you and your childrens well being. i wish you the best of luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Lafayette on

It sounds like he has already figured out how to get what he wants. He knows that if he cries hard enough that you will come and get him. You need to regain control. It seems that there is something about your bed that he likes better than his and it may not even be you. It could be the blankets, the softness of the mattress or just warmer. Will he nap in your bed without you in it? If so, I would try to get him to nap without a blanket or a light weight one. You may have to experiment for a while before finding the answer. Another thing to think about, does he use a pillow in your bed or propped up in some way that he isn't when he is in his bed? He may have acid-reflux. I have a friend whose baby had that and he had a lot of problems sleeping flat in the crib. Good luck but you want to get him out of your bed soon or he may be in there for years to come!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

From my experience(42 years of it), you can either start putting him in his crib and patting and shushing until he settles down (without EVER picking him up), or continue to do it the way you are until you are desparate enough to believe in letting him cry. At his age, he doesn't need nutrition in the night, it's just a lovely habit for him that he doesn't want to give up without a fight. It's not good for any of you to be up 5-6 times a night.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

You didnt talk about his eating habit besides BF. The only advise I have it getting him a good night time routine; bath, book, BF, and then bed or whatever works for you. Eating a good meal and a routine will really help. That is all the advise I have as I CIO my boys.

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