Oh My Three Year Old

I suspect he's angry because the new baby is coming. the second baby took over his space and he had to share attention with him. Now here comes a third one. He wants to be the only one again.

3 yo doesn't yet understand his world. New things, especially new baby things cause him to be anxious. He may "remember" how he felt when the second was born which makes his feelings stronger this time. He probably doesn't actually remember but the memory is in his body and brain, yet unconscious.

Also, as you said, he may be worried about your pain. If he's not going to be in the delivery room he doesn't need to know any of the details of birth. He can't understand and put them in perspective. He may see you in pain before you go to the hospital but I'd limit that too. too much info too soon creates anxiety.

When my grandson was born his 3yo sister was asleep in bed when her mother's contraction came on full force. My daughter had false labor a few days ahead of time which helped her daughter to become aware by actually experience and could see that Mama was OK and came home.

I suggest that you have a gentle short talk with him. Ask him why he's hitting brother. Ask how he feels. Reassure him that you want to know and will help him with his feelings and actions. Talk about having a happy family with all 3 of the kids. And that he will always be special because he's the first. Suggest to him that his younger brother isn't old enough to understand and maybe he's doing things that upset you. Ask him to be your helper. Give him small things to do now. He could help put diapers and clothes away. He could draw a picture about his new baby. Praise him ahead of time for all the things that he can do to help you. One of them is to stop fighting so much with his little brother. You could be sympathetic with him about how frustrating little brothers can be. Ask him to come to you when he feels like hitting him, taking away a toy, yelling etc.

Congratulations on your new baby!

First off, Congrats on the new baby soon! We are due in June also and so excited. I have noticed my other children acting up a bit too lately, and I think it's cause they know something is going on. I don't think they'll fully comprehend having a new baby in the house until she's here, but they can definitely sense something is going to happen soon. A few things I tried was going and buying them some things to do at the hospital for when the baby is here, (coloring books, books, and some card games) and telling them that when she's born they will get to go and pick out a present for her. I have no idea if this is what is going on with your son or not, but maybe he is just nervous about things? I know mine are very aware of what is going on, no matter what it is. I'm sure it's temporary and will resolve itself once the little one is here. Good luck.

Three is a tough age even when there aren't younger siblings and a pregnant mother added to the mix. They're not sure if they want to be a "big boy" or a "baby" at any given moment.

I'd suggest that you stop explaining future things to him. ESPECIALLY when those future things are frightening! The sense of time in a three year old is limited to right now and two minutes from now. He doesn't understand that sometime in June his mother is going to go into labor and will have some pain before giving birth to another baby. All he probably hears is that mommy is going to be in pain - he understands what pain is, and that's scary!

I didn't say a word to my oldest about anything negative about my pregnancy and he was about the same age as Brody. I didn't tell him that I would be in pain, or would have to go to the doctor, etc. I just told him that there were two babies in mommy's tummy. When I went into labor, I told him I had a tummy ache and needed to go see the doctor to get better.

With regard to the anger? I STRONGLY recommend that you get your hubby to spend a lot more one-on-one time with Brody. This worked great with my oldest. He didn't feel nearly as neglected when I had to be focused on his brothers because he felt so special about doing this with his daddy. I would also make a point of comparing my oldest with the babies: Stuff like "Oh baby, I sure wish you were a big boy like Alek and could go pee pee in the potty like he does because Mama doesn't like to change yucky diapers!" My oldest LOVED this!

Having a toddler in addition to a three year old and a newborn puts you in a much tougher position than I was ever in. I'd actually be more concerned about the toddler because I tend to think that Brody will be able to let you know what he needs, but Gieger might be a bit left out. (You have to focus on the newborn, and most husbands aren't all that great with toddlers.) I'm just having a Brady Bunch flashback ("Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" from Jan Brady!) But you sound like a wonderfully devoted Mama, so I'm sure you're going to find the perfect balance!

They are smarter then we all think. Hold him responsible for fixing what ever he has done,(if he hits have him get an ice pack from the fridge for his brother even if it is not really needed, or kiss it better) and tell him why it is wrong and what to do instead.

Give him greater responsibility that will make him feel important, big, and keep him more occupied. ex) "I need you to pick out clothing for your little brother." or "I need you to help me put the siverwear away."
Give him regular things to clean or organize or be in charge of.