Back when my parents were kids, or when I was a kid myself... things were more old school. Rules were clear. Expectations were clear. Results were clear. In school or at home. Things were NOT all customized... for every little personality or age or gender or feelings of every little individual who was SO smart or SO lacking in intelligence. There were punishments and reprimands. Kids had self-esteem. They were kids too who did kid things. Parents were not 'afraid' to tell their kids no.
They were not afraid of their kid's fragile "self-esteem" or self-confidence or lack there of.
They were not afraid of limiting.... their child's ability for self-expression or creativity.
They parented.
They lead.
They did not have their child lead and then they tag along behind their child.... with a conundrum of "oh my, how do I manage my child? He is so smart but strong willed!" or "How do I manage my child but not impair or limit her SMARTNESS or creativity or off center humor and language use?" ie: my kid said his classmate's hair looked like a cirrus shaped poop pile and that it was funny when everyone laughed with him about it right in the middle of a lesson in the classroom. But my son was SO inspired and SO clever with his vocabulary use and metaphors.... how could the Teacher say he was "naughty" and how could the Teacher get mad at him and give him a consequence??? Sure, he's made comments about that same boy before and they call it teasing... but really he is just humorous, he is just being silly...I don't know why they find him irksome and naughty or why the other boy finds him harassing.... My son's Teacher does not nurture him or his smartness or creativity and he is above grade level for reading and math etc. I think he is just bored....."
I work at a school.
Sure I am no expert.
But comparing... how it was when I was a kid growing up with rules and reprimands... versus nowadays with kids and how BRATTY they are. Well. There is a very clear difference.
And, what is the difference between a kid being :
silly for their age, or, naughty, or bratty, or genius with a creative humor, or inappropriate, or acting like a 4 year old when they are 4 years old?
Well, if/when it disrupts... the CLASSROOM and other students and Teachers, then it is a problem and if it occurs often or repeatedly.
Or, if it is something that just happens at home.
Time and place.
And knowing how to behave in each place (school or home or out at a store), does make a difference.
Once, there was a 4th grade boy, who had such the personality. And it was a noxious sassy back-talking uppity personality and he insulted other kids and was mean and thought he could just do whatever he wanted. Because well, he was SO smart and he's showing his creativity! But OH was he SMART! As though, being "smart" is a free ticket in life.
His parents thought so. EVEN if, he caused trouble... to classmates and in class everyday, despite being talked to in 10,000 different manners and techniques and approaches, he was just a brat. AND it was even worse... because his parents let him. In fact, they would get real pissed off, if he was scolded. So in the end, well... the Teacher/class just had to let him be. They had to. If not his parents would get litigious about it.
But the thing is, this boy was not like this, all of a sudden, ONLY in 4th grade. No. It was from before he got to this age and grade.
So many kids I encounter everyday at school, who just are little islands unto themselves. And they have no, remorse or hindsight or empathy about their noxious behavior.
I have a friend that teaches middle school. And she said it is almost 'scary' how so many kids nowadays, are just void of having a thoughtful conscious. They just don't. And the parents back their brat kid, up. And if reprimanded, well one time, a Teacher was actually yelled at by a parent. "How DARE you punish my child and have him stay in for recess!" And the parent complained to the Principal. So well, the teacher just cannot do anything anymore, to correct her classroom.
Real, pathetic.
I am not saying that "Danny" will be this way or is this way or is not "naughty" or is "naughty" or who knows what because of lingo.
However, I am just relaying, what I have seen and come across.
As most Moms do.