Mamas & Papas-
Remember some time ago when I posted about the attractiveness of the naughty boy? Well he's still around, and he's still naughty. His poor parents are having a heck of a hard time with him. Mine still feels the draw and reports about the naughty boy, their hijinks together, and how the naughty boy gets corrected by the teachers.
I was reminded this weekend, when I ran into him in church, that we had a naughty boy too in our pre-school class. "Shaun" was always a little too loud, a little too rambunctious, a little too mouthy, a little too boistrous, and prone towards small pranks like peeling all the paper off the crayons and making "snow" with it. I remember that he would have to be reminded how to behave, that he was a topic of conversation among us when we were in class, and that like my son does about "Danny" I would chat with my parents about "Shaun."
While I feel for the naughty boy and his parents in my kid's class, and felt for the naughty boy in my own class, I think these boys are a bit of a blessing. 1. Everyone gets to hear the rules, and see them enforced. 2. The correction has a deterrent effect on the others. 3. The other smaller infractions seem seem a lot smaller.
"Shaun" by the way grew up to be a fine man and is a police officer with a lovely wife and daughter.
Has your's been the naughty boy? Did you have a naughty boy in your class? Have you experienced this sense of virtue when there are outliers around?
Thanks for your thoughts,
F. B.
BTW- I'm saying naughty boy, because, as it happens it was a naughty boy in my pre-school class, and it is a naughty boy in my DS's pre-school class. I don't mean to suggest that only boys can be naughty, or that they ought to be given greater allowances to be naughty because they are boys.
Thanks for the reminder, integrity, or lack thereof, can be found at all levels of the naughty scale. I am not one to think that the two are paired.
The naughty boy in my class growing up is now running his family's farm, and from all reports is doing a great job with it. Looking back, he probably had/has ADHD, and so he is a perfect fit for an active job like being a farmer!
My middle son has trouble maker tendencies. He craves conflict and negative attention (well he welcomes any and all attention but has a special love of negative attention). He's not one to have his presence go overlooked and loves to have all eyes on him, all the time. While I expect peer backlash at some point from kids who are sick of him, right now his behavior makes him a rock star among 4th graders and he has a fan club who eggs him on. I hear things like "he'll make a great trial lawyer someday" all the time LOL.
Needless to say, I have a lot of sympathy and admiration for his teachers and sometimes do feel bad that have to let this disruptive child loose in the world. He is reining it in a bit as he gets older and I hope that he continues to channel his energy into more positive and productive arenas such as sports and music, where being a showboat can be a good thing if you've got the skills to back up your talk.
I think we would find that many of what you call naughty young children are actually the building blocks of culture and civilization. We might see them as misbehaving, but we could easily also see them as creative thinkers, questioners, leaders, etc. Rule breakers can be the greatest rule discoverers after all.
Making snow out of crayon wrappers is very clever, after all. In a different context, it would be seen as art, a virtue, etc.
There is only what you are calling virtue because of outliners. Its the way this stuff works. To be a builder, you must be a destroyer.
I know two naughty boys who grew up to be pillars of the community, they had enough energy to work full time, be involved fathers and do LOTS of volunteer work. How they do it , I dont know, but clearly they had too much energy to sit nicely in school and Sunday school!! We so need these kind of people. I'm sure they are very useful in occupations where much energy is needed!
Danny was that kid in my school. He actually was sent to reform school (do they still call it that?) and ended up as a prosecutor (and according to my dad, a very nice man). THAT kid in my husband's elementary school class is also a lawyer. My son is a rule follower. THAT kid in his class is named Owen. Don't know yet how Owen will turn out - he is only 8.
My son is in between the kids who are always in trouble (your so called naughty boys, I don't want to label) and the ones who are just a little too good. He has really good friends on both ends of the behavioral charts and has gotten in trouble with some of them and just plays with the others. And has probably gotten some of the non-trouble kids in a little bit of trouble. To some parents I'm sure he is seen as the "naughty" boy. Honestly if it came down to who I would like to see my kids continue the friendship out of elementary school it would have the be the more rambunctious ones. I have noticed that they are quick to stand up for one another, stand by eachother as they are getting in trouble and able to break the rules a little just to be a great friend. The ones who are total rule abiders, quiet when they should be haven't been the ones to get my sons back when I would have liked to see someone stand up for him or just next to him because they don't want to be in trouble. This has just been my observation from what my son comes home and tells me about his friends. As long as my semi-naughty boy and his naughty friends aren't being mean to any other children I am okay with their ways. Its who they are. I swear half of them are going to grow to be defense attorneys or in law one way or another
I think sometimes the naughty kid in public is ignored kid at home. They are just trying to get someome to notice and pay attention to them.
The naughty boy in my class also grew up to be a police officer and an outstanding photographer.
Interesting!
Yes, I think they are blessings. My kids are in the middle: Pretty good with mischievous streaks...they talk about the troublemakers in their class. We have one close friend (girl) who is EXTREMELY naughty. And one naughty boy who plays with them in the back yard.
Yes, they are good representations of the various personalities in society, the rules, how people relate to one another and what kind of consequences come from being too naughty. When my kids talk harshly about the boy in our yard I remind them his parents aren't very nice to him and we should be patient with him and not say mean things. That's a good lesson. That kid then helped my son at recess by introducing him around on the playground when I started my kids in public school late after homeschooling. Turns out lots of kids are scared of that kid (he's not actually "mean" just big and wild and cross like his mean parents...) so it didn't do my son any harm to be on his good side :)
I was a good kid. I envied the naughty kids. But I didn't want the consequences (especially from my dad!!!) of their crazy antics :)
Well, there are naughty kids, kids who have issues and are hard to control, kids who have difficult personalities and struggle. And a lot of these kinds of kids' parents struggle with their kids. The parents who don't struggle and either ignore or give up are the ones that always made me crazy. They were the ones who acted like "not MY kid" all the time...
One of my kids had a difficult temperment. He's also gifted and a heck of a lot smarter than me. It took a lot of time for him to grow out of a lot of "stuff". He's a fine young man now, in college, successful in his studies and in his life. I believe he'll find his way in a good career.
Sometimes the kids who struggle when they are young end up being adults who offer a lot to society BECAUSE of their temperments/personalities. I think that a lot of how successful they are depends on the adults around them when they are growing up. How we deal with these children can make or break them.
Yeah...I don't really remember a "naughty boy" from preschool, etc.
There are several kids with behavioral issues in my sons school.
I kind of had to laugh at your #3 (3. The other smaller infractions seem seem a lot smaller.) because it reminded me if the old theory about having ugly bridesmaids so you'll look prettier on your wedding day!
