Normal or Not? - Detroit,MI

Are you kidding? I feel like this ALL of the time. It is always a constant struggle to keep all of the balls in the air!

Hopefully NORMAL, because you just described me! I heard something on the radio last week from a professional household organizer - she said you (we) should make a mental list of three things to do each day - and if you complete those three things, take pride. Two of my three things today were to unearth the kitchen table from the pile of school papers and old mail, and to clean out the coupon drawer. Once I set my mind to those tasks, they took me 20 minutes! And I'd been staring at that mess for two weeks! So that little bit of crazy is solved. My next task is to clean the bathroom, which is past due. So I'm off to do that now before kiddo comes home from afternoon preschool and wants to "help". :)

TOTALLY NORMAL.

Do this: write yourself a little something in bright red lipstick on your bathroom mirror. I do, and forget by the next morning, and it never fails to make me smile :)

Sometimes I write something as simple as 'have patience!'... sometime's I write 'YOU'VE GOT THIS!!'... sometime's I just draw a ridiculous face on there that lines up with mine :)

As long as you're aware of whatever you think you're doing 'wrong', you're doing EVERYTHING RIGHT!! :)

A bowl of cereal for dinner and a few dust bunnies never killed anyone :)

If I didn't feel that way somedays, then how would I recognize the truly wonderful days?

Molly:

TOTALLY NORMAL!!! Please, I think you ROCK as a mom and a friend!!

Please take a deep breath and stop beating yourself up.

I don't think anyone is perfect and trying to be only creates more stress. Just be the best you can be. And in all honesty - I think you are great. Really. You are a VERY caring W..

My house is EEEEEWWWW right now. I spent about 4 hours cleaning just one room - the family room - moving furniture - dusting behind the TV (probably hasn't been done in a month), washing the windows, vacuuming the ceiling, corners and sliding glass door crevices, under the couch (again, probably hasn't been done in a month) and tossing stuff...it's still not done to my satisfaction. Tomorrow I have a box of stuff that I need to go through as well as movies - what we haven't watched in a few months, etc. so really - I know it will NEVER be perfect but it will be good. And I think you are better than good!

Thank you for posting this! I feel like that more days than not. I am fairly sure it's pretty normal but it's nice to know I am not the only one.

Not to be mean, but Molly...you are NORMAL!!! I have been a mom for 13 yrs and still doubt my abilities sometimes...am I giving the right advice, should I let my daughter do that? How do I help my son get through this? Yes, I yell too much, there are days I don't want to be around my kids, my house is NEVER clean enough, the laundry is always piled up, we have cookies in the cupboard and pop in the fridge.

And guess what? My kids are good students, responsible people, caring, empathetic, and loving kids who are not overweight and seem pretty normal!! LOL! I think it's ME who might need help sometimes! Like my grandma once told me, we all do the best we can with what we have and can't worry about the rest! So, hang in there...take the good w/ the bad, don't stress about all the imperfect...one day you will look back and realize, it wasn't so bad and you will wish you had spent less time worrying and more playing! I sure wish I could have a redo! Hang in there...I hope your week gets better!!!! :)

Sounds normal to me, according to myself and most mothers I know!! So long as it doesn't have you lying in bed depressed and unable to do anything... if that is the case than you may need a little help.

Watch this short little video about mothers, it will make you feel much better!

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages?la...

I think good moms are the ones who second guess, worry that they're not doing a good job, reevaluate their day and what they'd like to do better tomorrow... and then do that all over again then reevaluate again the next day. I go through this really tough time at least once p/ month usually corresponding with my cycle.

And I when you need help, you need help. If this has been going on for too long, help is the best thing you can do for your kids. Sometimes just being with other mamas who are trying to do their best too (and not always succeeding) helps tremendously.

I feel this way all the time. After speaking with my friends who are moms...I have determined we all feel this one at one time or another.

I have also asked myself...are they smiling? or crying?...if they are smiling then something has been done right...if they're crying (and not in trouble) then we have a problem.

But mostly they are smiling!

Added: I joke a lot saying "well with that mess up, I won't be mother of the year"...and my oldest (6) says "mom you're Rockstar".

I feel like that a LOT!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's normal because we love them so much.

Getting help is up to you but I can tell you right now that you're not alone. I feel like this constantly! I hate it when my house isn't clean, I hate it that I have to work all of the time, I hate feeling guilty about not spending enough time with my little girl, I hate hate HATE falling behind at work and at home because we have SO much going on all of the time, and I HATE it that I can go from being super patient to mega rage when my little girl screams for something meaningless - like a spoon, high up on a kitchen counter... UGH and really, I hate it when I pick my kid up and she whines and wiggles from my arms like I'm torturing her when I say "it's time to go home now miss!" Like I really need that feeling at the end of the day....

BUT then I have to stop myself and think about all the fun stuff that my mother must've been going through with all 4 of us kids. How it must've been just as hard, if not harder. I have to force myself to remember the days when I thought she was so mean for making me eat all of my dinner or for insisting that instead of an hour more of TV, I had to go to bed. Now 30 years later, I love her more for putting up with me.

I think we'd like to be perfect because other moms seem like they have it all figured out. I think sometimes we wish that if we only had "----fill in the blank----" that we'd be better off. Truth is, this is life. We can't be perfect every day. We have to realize that some days will SUCK big time but we can make them up by being super mom on another day. You have to find a way to let the stress out - whether it's jumping on a treadmill or a walk around the block. We don't need to add more pressure to our lives, the world provides enough for us already.

I'm on board, Totally Normal!

I have many days like that. My kiddos love me, or most of the time I think they do. Some people make it look much easier than others... For the most part, I think my kids are happy and healthy. I don't do it right all the time, but I do try and I know I have bad days too, so do they. I know when my older two were younger, and I was younger, it was harder and I know with time I've grown and become a better mother.

Hugs going out to you Molly!

Be kind to yourself! Women feel like they have to be Wonder Woman. Responsibility is scary and it is okay to take a few moments from reality..take a bath ..read a book...just breathe...Sounds like you are overwhelmed. You play with your kids...awesome..alot of people dont... I see people that tell their kids to go away and worse. You need downtime for yourself to regroup. Take a bath ...read a book,,,just breathe.You will be a "better" mom for it. Smile..it sounds like you are doing a great job! Tell doubt it has no place in your life.

The only help you need is someone else to do all the work. I know exactly how you feel. The days are not long enough--nights either for that matter. I have a 3 months old that I have been feeling lately like I don't have a close connection with except as the restaurant and food bar. I work full time and there is ALWAYS something else that has to get done. No matter how much I clean, it keeps getting dirty. And lately, it doesn't seem to matter how often I tell my older kids what needs to be done, they do the least amount. Lord help me when they are full blown teens (next month!).

If you need help...so do I.

I feel like this often enough...always thought it was part of being a parent.

Think of the alternative...you could be someone that worries about none of this...then what kind of parent would you be.

I think the key is to set yourself some goals and take one day at a time. Let some things go and try not to worry about everything being perfect. I think that's what we need to do or strive to do.

I don't know if it's normal but I can say I've felt this way before. It's the hardest job in the world .

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You are doing the best you can, don't stress! Every mom has taken shortcuts at times to get through the day. So my son had cookies for breakfast today, because it was the ONLY thing he would actually eat. Not the greatest, but at least he had something in his belly. It's not everyday after all.

Here's a thought... What can you do to help yourself feel more like yourself? Could you join a book club or a mother's group in your area? I think if you can get to the point where you are a little happier you will find that the rest will fall into place. Then, look for small opportunities to add something new to your routine - storytimes, playgrounds, or special events at your library/community center.

I think it's beyond normal for moms to doubt themselves, but if you find these feelings to be overwhelming it might help to talk to your doctor about it. Perhaps anxiety issues are to blame and you could be helped immensely by relaxation strategies, talk therapy, or even a low dose anti-anxiety medication.

I wish the best for you, and I hope you feel better soon!

Yep I get to feeling like this. I work fulltime with three small kids and sometimes I just get so overwhelmed. Do you make time for yourself? Make sure you are. Gives you the opportunity to recalibrate. How about date nights. I am pretty realistic. Any woman who says they do it all really can't. But there is some truth to things running a bit smoothly if we're organzied. Be realistic and even if you just take it one day at a time. Plan the 1-2 things each day you want to accomplish and go with it.

Normal! Do one thing to improve things, like clean all the mirrors or plan a fun day for the kids. You will feel better, you'll get out of your rut...because thats what is always to blame when this happens to me, and rest assured we ALL feel this way at one point or another.

I think every woman feels like this at some time during early childhood. I know I did. My kids at the time were 3.5 and infant and we lived out of the country.

What I did was create a chart that I put on the frig of daily duties. I broke it down by am and pm and by the day of the week. What this did is give me a structure on what to do and when. This was really great when daughter was about 6 months old and crawling around on the floor. You could literally eat off the floors (they were washed twice a day).

The schedule worked so well that I had time to do things I wanted to do and to get the kids outside and to the park every afternoon (weather permitting). When it was time for dad to come home from work, he would swing by the park and pick us up and take us home. Dinner was usually in the oven cooking while we were out.

Walking to the park about a mile away was the way we got exercise and fresh air and had fun. It was a break from the inside of the house and they could slide and swing and have fun. Of course I had to help my daughter for a bit as she was younger. One day she climbed the ladder to the slide before I knew it and I just had to catch her when she slid down (at about 2). I didn't say anything because I didn't want her to get scared and fall off or anything.

The cleaning chart helped with washing diapers 3x a week, cleaning bath, bedrooms and regular laundry. Some nights after dinner I was able to wash a load of clothes and hang them on the line and let them dry. Ah the fresh smell of laundry.

So know that you are not alone and that it will get better.

The other S.