"No" Means "Yes"

My 21 month old is doing this....very funny. We use a little bit of sign language and so if I think that she means yes, I reiterate that yes in sign language is like you are knocking on a door. So if she does mean yes - she will very quickly start moving her hand as so....

I also try and stay away from the word NO and use Not right now or Yes, in a little bit or Yes, after the toys are picked up etc...

Good luck!!

My two year old did the same thing. I could tell when he meant yes and when he meant no. When I knew he meant yes, I would give it to him and say YES. He now says yes and no appropriately.....it just takes a little time reinforcing the correct response. Enjoy the little "please" while you can....they do grow up so quickly! I am also the mother of a 3.5 yo, 10 yo, & 15 yo....plus the above mentioned 2 yo.

dont give her yes and no questions state them as do you want this or that. i wanted to avoid that with my son, now four by not using the no word, that made a game out of it and he has a wonderful vocabulary

Dear T.,
I have a two year old Grandaughter, We went through the same thing with her,as she would say "no" we would say "yes" after we only did this for a couple week's,and she caught on quickly.When she say's no say yes emediatly after, and she should catch on.
Hope it work's.
DENISE HECKATHORN
PORT WASHINGTON,OHIO

LOL! This is such a cute age! I think you're on the right track with waiting until she says yes, and then repeating it to her to confirm. You might try (when you know that she really means yes)to vocalize "yes, please" even before she says it. And when she repeats "yes, please" to you... smile and praise her. She'll catch on real quick. =)

It reminds me when my twins were just about two, one of their nick-names was Jo-Jo(for Jordan) and the other J-J (for Jeremy). Jordan would go chasing after Jeremy calling "Jo-Jo!" Yet, Jordan still answered to Jo-Jo as well. I was afraid they were going to be so confused as to what their names were! LOL! They figured it out soon enough, just as your daughter will get her yes's and no's down pat before ya know it!

Good luck and enjoy!

I vaguely recall something similar when my now 4 year old was that age - it was relatively short-lived. Anyways, I think you have taken the right approach. Just stay consistent and remind her that she really means yes (as long as does).

I have nothing off the top of my head, but maybe there are toddler books/dvds that concentrate on opposites such as "no" and "yes" - that may help. Good luck!

T.,

Take a looke at some books on early childhood development (there are tons of good ones out there) This is very common for this stage of language development and nothing to make a big deal out of. Enjoy the fact that she is not being oppositional in her behavior, because that day is coming...

Hey T.,

My daughter went through the same thing! It was just a phase and passed on it's own without my husband or I doing anything. When we knew she meant "yes" we reacted that way - sometimes we had to ask more than once to figure out which it was. We didn't make a big deal about it and she eventually caught on herself. I think "no" is just easier for them to say - not to mention the fact it's probably the one word they hear the most. I think your telling her yes when you know that's what she means is a great idea - she'll get to hear the correct word more. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it - she'll outgrow it on her own!

I think you are on the right track. I have a 2 1/2 year old that most of the time when we ask him if he wants something he will react quickly and say no, but then we say okay and put it away and then he says, I mean yes! He's also very independent, sometimes he says no because he wants to get it himself. Good Luck!

Well let me know what you figure out. My 21 month old daughter is doing the same thing!! My son never did that. Weird.

This is a phase that all my kids went through and I'm sure my baby will, too, when she's older. It's pretty common and thankfully doesn't last too long. I think you're handling it fine. What we did also was just ask the child "are you sure you mean no?" and they usually changed and said yes. It's basically that they are in a very independent stage and that often means the 'no' stage as well... saying 'no' is more like a automatic reaction to every situation.

This is a really cute problem! But I'm sure it is very confusing for you. Until she figures it out (which will probably be tomorrow!) try not to ask "yes or no" questions. Instead of saying "Do you want milk?" ask her "Do you want your milk in the red cup or the blue cup?"

i think your doing exactly what you should. my daughter got hot and cold mixed up for a very long time. Good luck

You bring back some of my fondest memories of my 32-year-old daughter. They learn the correct words very quickly; you are proceeding just right. Another one I'll always remember was that Jennifer was always going "downdairs," whether it was up to the 2nd floor or down to the basement. It was so cute, I wanted it to last as long as possible; but as fate would have it, she quickly learned to talk like the rest of us. Enjoy these times!

I think the word no is easier to say than yes is, but it
could be she just likes to say the word no. She'll start using
the yes word when she is ready, in the mean time maybe to
keep it enforced, everytime she wants something and she says no when you give it to her tell her the word is yes. I'm
having a hard time putting into words what I want to say, so
I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. Anyway
I don't know if I helped or not, but things will work out, you'll see.

K.

My two year old does the exact same thing. I think he knows what he is saying, but wants to show that he can do what he wants. He is testing his boundries. As if he is saying yes, I want my sippy cup, but not if you want me to have it. So I will say no and then reach for it when I am ready. He is showing he is doing whatever on his own terms and not mine. If he tells me no that he doesn't want his cup. I put it down and then say that he can have it when he is ready for it, but I am not going to stand here with him all day. Then he will normally pick it up or tell me yes.

Hi T.!

My son turned two at the end of February, and went through something very similar around then. I read in a psychology parenting book that saying yes to your child whenever you can will help them be cooperative in the future. I read this when he was months old. So I implemented this once he started understanding and talking more. I acknowledged his feelings a lot, like saying "Yes, I know you're upset and sad, but..."

He went through a short phase of saying no all the time, but I just kept reinforcing yes. I also would say, "Oh, you don't want your milk? I'm going to put it away then". When he would get upset, I would say "You told me no. I will ask you again, do you want your milk?" He caught on very quickly.

Good luck!