I currently am not willing to try any "let them cry" techniques for sleep. My 4 month old actually sleeps fairly well (anywhere from 5-8 hours in one stretch, then nurses, and sleeps for another 3 hours). He used to go to bed sometime between 7-8pm but now has extended out to between 9-10pm (all on his own, nothing that I have done). This has resulted in him only waking 1x a night, on occasion 2, around 4/5am. This is nice for me as I can actually sleep a good stretch before he wakes up. My concern is that we currently have to rock him or nurse him to sleep. While I find this time to be a great bonding time, I am concerned about when I return to the workforce when he is around 6/7 months and having to go to daycare. I have always just read his signs about being tired and hungry and have never forced any sort of schedule on him. Naps are hard as he takes short 30-45 minute naps 2 hours after waking up from the last one (4-5 naps a day) and he sleeps best in my arms or next to me in bed. He has napped in his bassinet/crib, but these naps are usually very short (15 minutes max) before he wakes up crying. I want to try to help him sleep in his crib for naps and not rely on mama to get him to sleep for naps or for bed time so going to daycare won't be so traumatic. Does anyone have advice for a no cry sleep technique they have used and have found works? Any advice about transitioning to daycare and napping?
Does he sleep on his back or on his tummy? My girls both started sleep on their tummies around 4 months. Basically when they were old enough to lift their heads and roll over. My second one would wake herself up trying to get to her tummy if I put her on her back. Once I let them sleep on their tummies, they slept a lot better by themselves.
I think every new parent should read this book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth (See http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...)
This book explains the physiological stages infants go through and what sleep patterns you can expect at each. It's not promoting a philosophical agenda (like Dr. Sears!) but actually giving parents facts and practical knowledge about how babies sleep. Please read it!
There's nothing wrong with a bedtime routine that includes some rocking and cuddling -- but if he is falling asleep in your arms and waking up 45 minutes later, that could be a problem. You should put him down while he is still awake and let him fall asleep in the crib or whatever on his own.
The bottom line is that your child must learn to go to sleep on his own and it MIGHT take some crying, or it might just take a few minutes of fussing or "talking" to himself. But if you pick him up when he the second he makes a noise, you will train him to wake up at that early interval every time and before you know it, you'll have a screaming 2-yr old who makes bedtime a nightmare for you EVERY NIGHT. No one likes to hear their child cry. It's torture. But if he starts waking up every couple of hours at night, this will be your only choice. Believe me, I suffered for a year -- scoffing at everyone who told me to let him cry -- before I figured this out.
By allowing him to wake up too early/often, you are actually harming him because he is not learning to sleep. Help him learn to sleep for the sake of his own health and happiness. Best of luck!
My best advice is to enjoy this bonding time while you have it--it's so precious and will be gone before you know it. They change so much from week to week that by the time you're ready to go back to work, he may already have adjusted on his own. Unfortunately, though, I don't know of a way to get him to go to sleep on his own without letting him cry it out for a little while. Maybe if you gradually did it--letting him go to sleep on his own (even if he cries) for a nap, and then once he got used to it worked up to all naps and bedtime it would be easier on you. You might also check with your daycare--I used to work at a preschool, and we always rocked the babies to sleep at nap time, so that may be something they already do that you won't necessarily have to give up. Enjoy this time as long as it lasts, he'll be a teenager before you know it! (My baby boy is 15 years old, lol.)
Good luck!
If you want to change it, try the baby whisperer: http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/ You'll help him fall asleep on his own without leaving him in his room alone to cry. HTH. :-)
I second the recommendation on The Baby Whisperer. And I would also read The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems. This will give you all the information you need on getting your 4 month old to sleep. It is not a cry it out approach at all. Gives lots and lots of great information on all different ages and situations.
I will say that what said about "enjoy it while it lasts" is not true. Yes your baby will be older and bigger soon but you will still be rocking, walking, singing, swinging him to sleep. You have to teach them to put themselves to sleep (not necessarily by crying) or else they will depend on you to do it. These little guys NEED sleep to grow and heal themselves when they are sick. A 30-40 minute nap is not enough. He is waking up at the end of a sleep cycle and since he does not know how to put himself to sleep he cries. Once you start working on him (after you read that book) you will see that he will start sleeping about 2 hours at each nap.
Anyway, good luck. Just some advice from a mother of 3 boys. 4.5, 2.5 & 10 months.
I don't think crying traumatizes a baby and unfortunately he will be doing more crying in daycare than at home. He'll be a normal well adjusted kid, it doesn't hurt them. Good luck!
A., I totally understand your frustration regarding the short naps. My almost 12 month old son did that too when he was your sons age. He needed longer naps just had a hard time taking them. I would really encourage you to get "Good Night, Sleep Tight". I got it from the library and loved it so much I went out and bought it. It was the best sleep solution I found and actually worked for us. There is a little crying involved but with you there the whole time constantly soothing and reassuring.
The other thing I would encourage you to do if your son doesn't have one is give him a transitional object/lovey toy that will help him learn to self soothe. The book I recommended gives you very sound ways to transition your baby onto a schedule. Babies thrive on routine and if you introduce your son to one now then he is more likely to have a much easier transition to a daycare. I found getting my baby on a schedule easier than I thought because until I did that I did what you are doing and just followed his lead. Having him on a schedule allowed me to lead him into better naps and also give the sitter a better understanding of his tired cues, etc.
Definitely check this book out. Naps were especially hard for my son and this book helped a lot. Good luck.
Even after 6 kids, I have still not mastered the sleep delimma!! I rocked most of mine to sleep at night for the first 6 or 7 months, then they seemed to gradually grow out of it. I would not worry about day-care. You may find that when you are gone, he will quickly adapt to what ever program they have. This has been my experience anyway. For example, when I was trying to wean my now 5 year old daughter from a bottle around 14 months, she would go 8 or 9 hours a day at the sitters without a bottle no problem. But as soon as we got home, the battle for the bottle was on. Babies and Kids are funny that way. It's amazing how fast they learn. Good Luck!!
