Mom Seeking Help for 3 Month Old Having Hard Time Napping

Updated on June 22, 2008
D.T. asks from Smyrna, GA
22 answers

I have a 3 month old daughter (who I brestfeed exclusively) and is not a very good napper. I swaddle her (also tried not swaddling her) but she wakes up 30-45 min into her nap and needs to be soothed (picked up, rocked) to go back to sleep and sometimes she does not want to go back to sleep. I have tried getting her to sleep before she gets tired, by holding her until she is asleep (light sleep and deep sleep) and then putting her in her crib and also tried letting her cry it out for 5-10 min(just today). She also uses a pacifier so she has her sucking reflects met; I also have a noise machine to help her sleep.

She has slept better in the swing and a sling however with me having to go back to work and leaving her in daycare, I am trying to get her to nap regularly in her crib. I spent time trying to get her to go back to sleep that it ends up leading into her 2 nap time.

Any advise on what I can do to have her nap better? what should her typical sleep pattern/times be? and should I continue to rock, hold, and swaddle her every time she wakes up? I am not sure what else to do. Any tips? I am trying to let her cry it out for a while but not sure if this will work for a 3 month old. I have read babywise, baby whisperer, and tried all of the things I have heard of, but so far it is not working ... what do you all recommend and how long will it take to work?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Macon on

I have a lil boy myself and he does the same thing. If he doesnt want to go back to sleep he doesnt. I lay a blanket on the floor and let him play. Sometime i get down there with him but most of the time he has to go to sleep on my chest in order for him to go to sleep or under me. He 4 months and will be 5 months dis month. The order he gets seem to me like the less he sleep. He will sleep for his daddy cousin without a problem but he doesnt like for me to sleep or eat. Sometime i lay in the bed with him and act like im sleep and sometimes that works. Good luck!! I'm learn as i go.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? I can't remember if it is anything different than what you are doing only that my husband and I swear by it. Also, if the room is warm you may want to use a box fan for cooling and the white noise factor--that really helps us in the summer and spring.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.J.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi, Dia,

I found that my daughter sleeps better and longer with a full belly. Once I started feeding her cereal and solids, she was full and slept better and longer, and still sleeps better today at 14 months when she is full when she goes to sleep, and drinks some warm milk. Since you are still only breatsfeeding, just try to make sure she is full right before her nap.

Instead of always picking her up, I will sometimes rub her back and lean over her crib until she gets back to sleep. Music works sometimes too; I play the same CD so she is used to it (Baby Classics Mozart and Bethoven).

My husband plays with her until she is so tired all she can do is nap, and that helps. When she was that young, she liked to kick so he would play box with her feet with the palm of his hands while she kicked them. Now he lets her play and chases her while she tries to get away.

My daughter does not have any medical issues at all, so after the first month, I felt comfortable enough to let her sleep on her stomach where she was most comfortable (and she would sleep longer) and would just check on her very regularly to make sure her nose was not down or in anything where she couldn't breath freely. And I would gently rub her back to make sure she was breathing OK, but not enough to waker her up. I also pray over her daily that God would spare her life and continue to keep her healthy, among many other things; my prayers are always answered where she is concerned, and then some. I also use cover on her because I figure if I get a chill when I nap at times and want something at least over the bottom half of my body, that she may too. No one can sleep in an uncomfortable situation.

The best advice I can give anyone, is to follow your gut insticts and treat your child the way you would want to be treated. That is Your child so your first thought (God's whisper talking to you) lets you know what to do for her. If you are not comfortable doing something or not doing something, regardless to what someone else has to say, pray and follow God's voice in your gut. I have always done that with my daughter, even when I was pregnant, and it has worked out. For a lot of things I am thankful I followed my gut instead of doing what someone else thought was best or what they say "has always been done this way". Times change and every person is different. I know I don't sleep well when I'm hungry or cold or too hot or my feet are cold, so why should be any different just because she is a baby? She is still human. Try some things out that you know help you sleep better at night and see if it helps her as well.

Good luck, and God bless. May you each have Perfect Peace and Sweet Sleep.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Savannah on

I wouldn't be too concerned at this point about her napping habits. My daughter has NEVER taken long naps (other than when she is sick). My daughter started sleeping through the night at about 2 1/2 months. By sleeping through the night, I mean 10 + hours at the time. Since she was sleeping so much at night she would only cat nap through the day. She would take numerous short naps. My daughter began going to daycare part-time when she was seven months old. At that time she began taking longer naps. Daycare will put her on a semi schedule. By that I mean, they have a schedule but they are also required to let children sleep when they want to. My daughter also learned to start taking naps in her crib when she started going to daycare. Prior to her starting daycare, I would let her nap wherever she wanted to (with me, in her swing, on the couch, etc.). The only time I made her sleep in her crib was at night. Now that she is mobile I'm certainly glad that the daycare began the routine of having her take naps in her crib. Getting back to your question, if your child is sleeping good at night I wouldn't be concerned about her naps. I also wouldn't be concerned about her routine before starting daycare. My daughter didn't have one. I tried to be a laid back mom and just let her sleep when she wanted to sleep. As she gets older she will probably fall into a schedule on her own. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and takes 2 good naps a day and for the most part (when she doesn't have an ear infection) sleeps through the night. As far as letting her cry it out, I began doing that at about 2 months and I only did it at night time. She only really cried (more like hollered) herself to sleep once. The best advice I can give you is relax, do whatever you enjoy when it comes to your baby (if you want to rock her to sleep then by all means rock her...they are only infants for a short period of time and you should love every moment), and don't worry whether she has a sleep pattern for daycare. They will help her fall into a pattern. I hope this helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi,

I become a Mom on 03/05/08 to a beautiful baby girl and we suffered thru this exact same thing. She has her good days and her bad days napwise that is. I find that as long as her paci is in her mouth and I put her down after she's been asleep for atleast 15 min...if she wakes back up then I just gently rock her back to sleep while turning on the music to her mobile. Due to acid reflux I had to hold her up for at least 20 min after each feeding anyway and she always falls asleep but at the daycare they couldn't so they put her in the swing and turn it on and she drifts away for hours at a time but the days that the batteries aren't charged she only slept for 45 min at a time at most.

I took her out of that daycare and if you'd like I can recommend you to the lady who keeps my baby for me now...she just started her own in home, she's one of the elderly ladies from my church...she lives off of Wade Green in Kennesaw.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Columbia on

My doctor has told me that day time sleep doesn't get "organized" until around 6 months. I was in the same boat as you and she told me there wasn't much I could do. Cat naps she said are typical for that age. My son is 5 months and sometimes only does a 30-45 minute nap. Hopefully as she matures they will get longer. My son's naps are lengthening at times the older he gets.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.

answers from Atlanta on

Just let her cry it out. My Ped. said it was ok to start "crying it out" at 2 months. I have done it with both kids and they are just fine and great sleepers. They will not remember you let them cry. My daughter was much toughter than my son. She would cry for 45 mins sometimes and it was hard for me, but it worked. She also took more than 3 days. My son was much faster and took to it easily.
My son is 3 days younger than your daughter. He takes 2 to 3 hour naps and sleeps 8 to 10 hours at night.
I know it is hard but just try it for 3 days and she should be set. Take a shower or empty the dishwasher or something to keep you busy while you do it.
Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey there - I hear your frustration and know exactly what you are going through. My daughter who is now 2 went through the same thing. It seems as she turned 2 months old all she would take is 30 min naps all day long. It drove me nuts and I too read all the books and went on all the forums. What I came to is that was just the way she was and just to roll with it. Basically I planned my life around these 30 minute naps. She did this until she was 6 months old and then they stretched out to 1-3 hour naps. At 4 months old I got her to sleep in her crib, I would rock and swaddle her until she got drowsy and put her in her crib. So you can try that. Just relax about it all and it will change - it always does :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter didn't have a problem napping at that age, but I have a friend who said it was a miracle when her son would sleep (he's 2 days older than my daughter). She said he'd only take 30-45 minute naps - ever and if he slept longer she thought something was wrong. She asked her pediatrician and he said, "Some babies just don't need the sleep and won't"
Perhaps your baby girl is, unfortunately for you, one of those babies who just doesn't sleep. I'd ask her Ped. and see what they have to say/offer as well.
Good Luck!
Amy

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't think you should worry so much about trying to get her on a nap schedule before she goes to daycare. My son went to daycare at almost 3 months and while he napped fairly well at home, at daycare any scheduling went right out the window. (Too noisy, too much going on, too many toys to play with, etc.)If your daycare has a quiet environment where she can sleep it may be different, but now my son catches short (usually 30-45 mins) naps when he can while at daycare, but I can usually get him to sleep longer when we are home on the weekend or not in daycare for some reason. In addition, from what I have read, some babies just do not nap that long during the day. If she is sleeping well at night then she might be getting all the rest she needs with her cat naps.

Good luck going back to work. It was very difficult for me that first week, but my son really seems to enjoy daycare and his caregivers, and it is working for us.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I am not sure, but have you tried feeding her again. Could the be a growth spurt? I have a new baby so I do not know first hand, but things I have read have told this may happen at different growth spurts in their life so I am thinking if this happens to me I would offer the baby more food.
I hope you baby gets so sleep soon.
Oh, and if you have a baby that needs to be soothed and nothing seems to work try the five S's. Swaddle the baby, put her in your arms on her side, give her a pacifer to suck, swing her back and forth while giving a gentle shake to the rock. It will calm her and most likely put her back to sleep. I read that in "happiest baby on the block"
good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I know you are worried because you are going back to work. She's still really little. My guess is that within the next month or so, she will settle into a rhythm that works for her and for her day care provider. If you are interested, pick up a book called, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It's the absolute best guide I have ever read and it worked for both of my kids. They are 6 and 4 now and still wonderful sleepers, although we've had some challenges. This book helped me address any problems in a good way and we relied on it a lot!

Basically, the book says to try to get her to nap for an hour. After an hour, give up and wait for the next nap time/sleepy phase. Timing is everything. You have to watch for the first signs of sleepiness from her. If you miss it, she probably won't be able to fall asleep.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.H.

answers from Atlanta on

a book called baby wise really helps with naps, sleep and feeding. but dont worry the daycare will handle it. i see some babies just knocked out in the cribs while others doze in a swing. ask time what their thoughts are but i bet they will handle it. by the way if you feed your baby to sleep - that is the problem. she wants all the comforts and when she doesnt get them she wakes up. just read the book it will help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I remember having the same issue with my son. I think at that age, it takes about 45 minutes to go through a complete cycle of all the stages of sleep. So she's probably waking up after the cycle completes during that light sleep stage when the rest of us roll over and go back to sleep on our own. Don't stress about it. It will get better with time and she'll learn to put herself back to sleep without your help. I'm not a fan of letting them "cry it out", but I would recommend comforting her with as little intervention as possible. If she'll be soothed simply by you patting her while she's in bed or even just singing to her than that's less disruptive than removing her from bed. Also, even if she's clearly awake...try keeping her calm and quiet in her dark room with the sound machine going for a while longer just to send the message that its still "quiet time". Also, as The Baby Whisperer recommends, bedtime routines are a fabulous thing. I did my routine (and still do w/ my now 2 year old!) at bedtime and naptime and he loves the predictability of knowing what's next and that its time to sleep. And backing up a step, I don't know if this was the best thing to do, but as soon as I heard my son rousing, I would go in and pop the pacie back in his mouth and try to soothe him back to sleep before he got more riled up or even before he completely woke up. In my mind, I felt like I was "reprogramming" him to stay calm/asleep and that waking up after 45 min. when he really needed more sleep wasn't necessary. Sorry this is getting long, but I keep thinking of more things...I also remember nixing one of his naps fairly early in favor of one or 2 longer naps. I don't remember how old he was, but I remember a few days of keeping him up when he'd usually be sleeping and waiting until after his next feeding to put him down for a nap. He was then sleepier and slept a bit longer. You'll get it figured out and it will be smooth sailing...until something else comes up and it always does! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I wouldn't let her cry it out. She is crying for a reason and she needs to know that you will be there for her.

My girl was the only one that didn't sleep well...it was new to me. She is now 2yo. Anyway, she slept well in our bed, not in her crib. Just a suggestion...but only if you feel good about doing that. I would actually lay down with her until she fell asleep and somehow she felt that I was still there. There was something about our bed. Probably being more comfortable than those crib mattresses.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Charleston on

you should read the responses to the woman a few requests down from yours regarding her 2 month old not napping. There was some good advice in those reponses. Please do not allow a 3 month old to cry it out--she is too young to understand. I'm a big fan of that method though after 4 months old.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hang in there. Some babies (like mine too) are not good nappers at that age. Consistency is best though, even if she only sleeps 30-45 minutes at a time. That is all she probably needs right now. Just enjoy the time she does sleep. I do think she is a little young to cry it out. My son didn't start taking naps (at least one good one a day) until he was about 5 months old. He also didn't start sleeping through the night until about 6 months old. He was also breast fed exclusively. Also, they tend to sleep better for their daycare providers than their parents. My daycare provider could get him to take 2 2 hour naps everyday!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Boy, does your story ever sound familiar! I reached that point at 8 weeks and introduced the "Baby Wise" methodology. It's a great book, but the summary is that you want her to wake up, eat, play/be awake, sleep. This avoids nursing her to sleep and the need to hold her until she gets into a deep sleep (which I was doing with my little girl!) and instead teaches her to put herself to sleep. So you're on the right track with the crying-it-out philosophy. It took my little one about 3 days to get used to it and then she'd just fuss for a minute and then zonk out. At 3 mos she would wake up and eat, stay awake for about an hour or 1.5 hrs, then take a 1.5 hr nap, then repeat. So 3-4 naps a day, depending upon how long she slept at night which has consistently been 8.5 - 9.5 hrs a night. As she's gotten older (7 mos now) her awake times have lengthened to about 2.5 hrs and she's down to 2, 2 hr naps + her last wakeful period in the evening before bed is now about 4 hrs. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Atlanta on

Cry it out doesn't work. It basically works on older babies by teaching them that they can scream and cry for their mommies and the mommies won't come so they give up. They cry to exhaustion each time and over time they learn that noone is coming. It is so sad. There is A reason it makes you feel sick to listen to. It goes against your instincts!try reading books by Dr sears. It will explain to you that you need to follow your instincts as A mom. Babies need love, to be held, rocked, etc. Nothing is more important. A 3 month old can't understand that you will not come, she will just cry until she falls asleep every time. If you have ever cried yourself to sleep, you know this is awful. Certainly not something I would want for my baby. My suggestion is stop worrying about a schedule and focus on making your baby have a happy healthy great start. Seriously if you need assistance, Dr sears has many books and they will all make sence as to why you should run not walk from people who tell you to go against your instincts and let your baby cry to sleep. .

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Y.W.

answers from Athens on

If your daughter falls asleep while she is in your arms and you put her down, the difference in the temperture of your body and her mattress will wake her up. This is an old trick. Get a hot water bottle and fill it with warm water and let it warm up her spot before you lay her down. Then tuck it next to her as she sleeps. She will think it is you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.A.

answers from Atlanta on

I remember with my second I put him down about 2 hours after his morning feeding then about 2 hours after his mid day feeding. I bet her naps will get longer as she gets older, but for now try to pick a way and stick to it. Crying it out does work for many, not all. But you will probably need to do it for longer than 5-10 minutes. As she gets older set a time limit. At first I said 20 minutes, as he got older it was 30 minutes. With my first, we waited until he was a year to cry it out and that was a mistake, he was never really on a schedule. If you are against the cry it out...another book to add to your list is the No Cry Sleep Solution. Other than that, just remember, "this too shall pass". At least she is sleeping some a couple times a day. You didn't say if she sleeps well at night or not, but if she is be thankful for that.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Charleston on

I agree with Tammy here on the CIO method. Babies have one form of communication, if a 5 year old woke up crying and verbalized to me what was going on I wouldn't ignore her, so I won't ignore my baby simply because she doesn't have the verbal skills to tell me what is wrong.

That said, I know it's scary having to put your baby girl in daycare, mine went in at 8 months. I often found her at the end of the day asleep in one of the swings. To try and get a better understanding of babies sleep pattern I highly recommend Pantley's NO Cry Sleep Solution. It has a wealth of knowledge regarding sleep.

Also, recent research shows that CIO is bad for babies:
http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

There is also growing research that the Babywise schedule is bad for a lot of babies and can lead to weight loss or malnutrition. Not all babies thrive on Babywise and many parents have chronicled their experiences at www.ezzo.info

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches