Nine Year Old and Mouthy

I also have a 10 year old that started last year she became another person. It is just hormones kicking in. My friends have all gone thru it all. I just have told my daughter that if she is going to yell, she can do it in her room away from everyone else. It is starting to get alittle better because she now knows she may be going thru her changes and she more award of her mood swings. Good luck!

D.,

I am so proud of you that you are not embarrassed to discuss your daughter's 'attitude problem!' As a mother of an older child, been there, done it, wrote the book!!!

Do everything possible you can do to stop her thinking that it is perfectly ok to disrespect everyone in the home. If you don't you will have about 9 more years of craziness to deal with.

It is important to be consistent with her and set boundaries. If she continues to speak to you are her siblings disrespectfully, she will no longer enjoy all of the gadgets (cell phone, computer, phone, etc.) until she learns how to speak kindly and do as she is told.

Don't freak out and worry that she won't like you. They love us to death, but they just have to see how far they can push. If you allow them to push, you end up losing! You will be spending day and night dealing with her until she leaves for college.

I now hear from my child, that even though I was a great mom, I let to much go by and that's why he hurt me the way he did, because he could!!!

Stay strong and lose the guilt of being a single mom. There are a lot of us that were and still are single moms. You can do this just be direct and non emmotional! Yeah right!!! A non emmotional mother...

Good Luck!

L. Hein
Author
THE BOOK "I'm Doing The Best I Can!" (They won't always be cute and adorable)
www.lisarhein.com

My grandaughter and my daughter both went through this stage. MY grandaughter is 10 now and still in it. With consistant disapline and no tolorance for arguing she will hopefully out grow it. There are many ways to try and curb this bad behavior. If she gets an allowance for chores,charge her a certain amount each time she argues or smarts off and put it in a jar, take away a priviledge, put on restriction or there is always the old fashioned way of putting soap in her mouth as my mother did and I did to my daughter. It is only a temperary fix as are all options. It is usually just an age phase that will pass a few years down the road. Good luck.

Hi D.,
I noticed that, too, with my daughter (now 14 and still pretty full of attitude, although she's a great girl mostly). Don't really know what to do, but I think it's pretty normal and is a way of striving for independence. My son is 10 and has started questioning a tiny bit. (He's always been more docile and sweet.) But I noticed with all 3 of my kids when the older one turned 8, they started arguing with the younger one. (Mine are each about 4 years apart.) It was like the younger one became annoying when they hit 4 years old. (no longer quite the cute baby, you know?)
good luck!!
L.

It sounds to me like your daughter is looking for attention, and generally when children don't get positive atttention, they will look to get negative attention, which is what she is doing, especially if she is good in school. You might not even realize it but I'm sure the younger children must take up a good portion of your time, and her being the oldest you expect her to understand. Being a former child care provider for over 15 years, and now owner of Kidz Kraze in New Tampa, it is important for parents to set aside quality time for their children, and right now, for you and her alone. Being a single parent, I know how hard that juggling can be, but if you don't I'm sure she will become more mouthy, as she becomes more angry in the future. If I can help you further in anyway, let me know....S. C
www.kidzkraze.com

I have been through this twice and actually dealing with it now ,my third time with my 11 year old, one thing I noticed is some of her friends talk this way to there parents and do not get reprimanded for it so then my daughter thinks it is o.k. I have sat her down and and explained how rude and disrespectful she is being and asked her how it makes her feel when others talk to her that way,I also explained to her it is much better for people to think of you as the nice polite girl than the mean girl, this seemed to hit home with all of my girls because they all have know girls who were considered mean and they do not want to be that way! I have also tried to be attentive of how I talk to my children and my husband I noticed in the past especially during times of stress that I my self can be very mouthy, so I try very hard to use respect when I am punishing etc...! also I do not buy into the hormone thing yes they are changing but as girls the hormone thing only gets worst and there is never and excuse for being rude, I explained to my girls I know sometime they may feel out of control but I ask them to just say I fell grumpy today, once again this does not always work and we all have bad days! Hope this helps, it also a phase and if you keep on it they usually grow out of it! I also try to to stress to all five of my kids it is better to get positive attention than negative, just know there is no perfect solution but I find it nice to hear that a mom is listening and paying attention to what her children are doing and saying I see so many parents tune everything out and wonder why there kid is always in trouble ! Keep firm and consistent and you will all make it to her 18th birthday!!!

I have a daughter who just turned 10 a week and a half ago. She has been quite mouthy for the past 8 months or so. I also have an 11 year old son. They are constantly going at it. I think (hope!) it is just a phase. They are both straight A students with wonderful behavior at school. I think they are trying to see how far they can push me. I've talked to some other moms at school, and most of them are having the same problems. Just know that you aren't alone. I am a single mom, too. Hang in there! :)

My daughter was the same way. I asked the doctor, at a well visit, if there was a possibility that she was in the process of starting her menstrual cycle. The doctor said that a girl's body starts about two years before she actually gets her period. If you track her behavior, you might notice it becoming worse at a certain time of the month. Let her know why. This helped my daughter -- and me!

A great book that I have read and used is called, "Parenting is Heart Work," by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. As the title suggests, it gets to the heart of a child to change the behavior.

Is it possible she maybe approaching puberty early in life? I hear all the time how girls are starting their period earlier. 10 and 11 year olds! So maybe that is it. Is she close to 10? Or it just could be she doesn't feel so important. She is the oldest to 2 younger siblings which probably take up most of your time. Is there a way you could spend extra time with her after the little ones go down for the night? Don't know how you do it?!! 3 kids by yourself,wow! God Bless you!