Night Time Madness

My son sometimes gives us a big production at bedtime too (he's 4 now). When we first switched to the bed I would put him back in the crib and just leave the room after 30-40 minutes of bedtime drama. After a few weeks he improved a lot because he wanted to sleep in his bed. You could try a gate on the door (my son would have climbed it). Some days I just sit next to the bed or at the door until he settles down, especially if he is overtired and hyper. Sometimes I read by book light. You can also adjust the naps. My son fought naps and mostly gave them up at 3 but sometimes still would be better off taking one. Usually he wants it just at dinner time and I tell him it is too late for a nap (and try to get him to bed early). It is a balancing act.

They sound wired. Do NOT wake them up from their nap, that alone can screw up their sleep patterns. Second, lay down with them. I lay down with both my boys in my bed. Massage their shoulders, necks, back, legs, whatever until they fall asleep - usually about 15 minutes. If they are not tired, we get up again. Tonight my husband came in and started playing with them because they did not fall asleep. It is not worth the stress to be so rigid in a routine. 15 minutes is much better than 2 hours, and after that I can get up and do what I want. My 2 year old sleeps better in our bed, so I often leave him, and sometimes my 5 year old too. Once they are out though and snoring loudly, you can usually move them to their own beds. Do whatever is easiest, and let them have some control in the routine. Routine is good, boring is bad. No one wants to relive the same day again and again. Your girls are no different. Enjoy snuggling them to sleep, it is a great opportunity to build a closeness you will value forever - and it will help you when they're teenagers - we listen to those we love.

In my experience, the longer they nap during the day, the better... for two reasons:

1. the more sleep they get, the more you can get (sleep when they sleep)
2. the more sleep they get, the less stressed out they are by the end of the day

You may also like to have a more active after-dinner thing... walking in the dark, after dinner park visits... burn up that late-day energy and then start the 'going to sleep things' ...

Also: do things while they're awake. There is no reason a small child can't witness dishes, laundry or dusting. Even vacuuming isn't necessarily traumatic.

I don't know if this is true, but many of the "experts" say that overtired children have a hard time going to sleep at night. This sounds slightly counter intuitive, but try letting them have as much sleep as they want at nap time, and see if that resets them. Often our bodies tell us what they need. And think of it this way - it can't make it worse!

my son has developmental delays and we see a specialist and she said if you dont want to medicate them go to the natural food store and get a spray its called meletonin you dont have to use it all the time like meds, your body makes meletonin to help you sleep and all this is doing is helping the process i have to use it occasionally on him he is just like yours but he dont take a nap, once he hits the floor in the mornin thats all she wrote you could try it and see if it help we spray it about 30 min before bedtime and by bed time he is about out anyways so it makes everything go easier, and if you need it you can use it to.i had to back down from 2 sprays at night to 1 cuz he is potty trained and would have accidents with 2 sprays but with the 1 spray it still gets the job done and he wakes up dry. give it a shot.

Hi. I too am a mom of twin girls, who are now 8, and we have a 13 year old daughter as well. I think, based on your description, that it might be time to take away the nap. I had a similar situation with my twins, and realized the nap had to be slowly taken away. They were just over 2 at the time. It was difficult to accept this, because my oldest napped until she was almost 3 1/2. Once the nap went away, and a routine established, my girls slept from 7:30 or 8:00 pm until 12 hours later. It was bliss because everyone was happy. Good luck!
J. B

I'm on the other side of the spectrum. I think you should gradually turn everything back a little bit. Awaken them a bit earlier, shorten the nap a bit, and slowly you should be able to change their sleeping pattern. This should help you get them to bed earlier, and give you a bit more evening time to yourself. And, like Theresa Q said, you have to be firm.

My son is 22 months and we went through something similar when we switched his crib into a toddler bed. After 2 months of the battle, we switched him to a twin bed and it solved the problem. He now goes to bed without a fight. On occasion he will get out of his bed, but he will stand in his doorway because he knows he's not allowed to come out of his room or else he's in trouble.

My son goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up btwn 7 and 7:30. He eats lunch at 11 and takes a nap at 11:30. I do not wake him from his nap. Somedays he only naps for 1 hour, other days he naps for up to 3 hours.

When children are over-tired, they tend to not get as good of sleep. Maybe you should let your girls nap longer and see if it helps.

I am not sure how you react to them getting out of their bed... do you talk, negotiate, yell, bribe?? The best thing to do is to keep place them directly back in bed each time they get out, do not talk or make eye contact... just keep doing it. It will take forever the first night or two, but then they will get the point and since they are not getting a reaction, they will give up. Keep up with the normal bedtime routine, but once lights are out that is it... BED TIME. I have to say, we just put my 2 year old son in a bed as he was climbing out of his crib for months... the first couple of times he did it at nap time, I used the put him back in with no talking routine and it took nearly 2 hours... and he was MAD! But, he knew I mean business and has been going down for naps and bedtime no problem since then. Stay strong and be consistant! Also, make sure their nap isn't too close to bed time and make sure they get plenty of physical activity in the afternoon.

Hi. It's clear that your kids are missing you in the day and that this is their way of 'craving' their mom's attention. Fighting it makes things worse. When it gets to bed time they are not done with you yet and is getting older and wiser now. Their age ...well bussy, bussy, bussy!There is no such thing as quality time only enough time. Mom's are suppose to be at home - that's our creation purpose but I realize that's not possible for all. Do you have a husband or close family that can help? Try working from home or contact me on my email ____@____.com for a suggestion to do so. You are special, blessed and born to manifestthe glory of the Father. C., Cape Town South Africa

Hi P., Oh dear it sounds like a circus! What was the reason to get them into toddler beds? I think once the newness wears off they will return to going to sleep. When is the nap if you come home at 6? where are they while you work? I guess the picture is not clear. Not easy to give advice :-( Grandma Mary

MY twins are 2y3m and we have sometimes trouble two. I found out two things that causes it most of the time. a) we did not go outside during the day b) the nap time did not work out. It is funny the shoter they nap in the afternoon the harder is bed time at night (you would think it is the other way round).
Anyway. I either just close the door and let them settle down my them selfs or I sit in front of the door insite and eventually they figure out it is night time and they go down. Just be persistent.

Hi P.,
I would try to have their nap time earlier than what they are doing right now.
I would get a gate and put it on the door. With my kids I would usually go sit by their beds until they fell asleep. If you don't have a night light, get one for now. They might not like the dark and want to come out. Once you have the gate in place, it will be more difficult for them to come out and run; and if they have a night light, they might stay in easier. If you can, (I would do this sometimes with my kids) take them to the park (weather permitting) and let them run and play for a good hour or so, and then go home and do your routine, bath, quiet play, milk, etc. they might go down easier. You can also try the rewards system. If they go to bed and stay in bed you'll get them something special. That something special could be anything, from going out for ice cream, to having playtime with a friend, to stickers, etc. whatever you know they like.
Just don't give up and get the gate, that will keep them confined to their room.
Best wishes.