Bedtime Battle with 2.5 Year Old

Updated on April 10, 2012
L.K. asks from Lafayette, IN
8 answers

My 2.5 year old has always struggled since birth with bedtime... We have tried everything to teach him to stay in his room at bedtime but it is still a strong battle with him and not going to sleep before ten pm... we are at such a challenge with this? Any suggestions?

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K.C.

answers from New York on

Does he get up late in the AM? If he is getting up after 8:30 am, he might not be tired until 10 pm.
Does he take a long nap? If so, does he wake up after 3pm?
That might be too late.
Physical excercise is important, too. Take him on walks, etc...
A bedtime routine is so important. No tv around bedtime.
Maybe he needs "white noise" to fall asleep.

My oldest daughter always had a difficult time settling down for a nap and bedtime. There were a few other issues I saw that the pediatrician missed. Occupational theraphy was what she needed.

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M.P.

answers from Green Bay on

Well, since I don't know very many details - what is making bedtime a battle? And since it has been a struggle since birth, I will recommend what I recommend to all on here who question their child's sleep habits. Get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD and follow his tips consistently. I consider this book my parenting bible!! :-)

In regards to getting him to stay in his room, it is simply creating consistency. If he gets up, the first time, you say "It is time for bed." take him by the hand and walk him back to bed. Every time he gets up after that, you pay as little attention as you can, take him by the hand, and walk him back to bed. Or sit in his room with him. If he gets out of bed, get up and put him back in bed. Don't pay any attention to him (no looking, no eye contact, no talking, etc.) other than to put him back where he is supposed to be. It is HARD...but eventually he will get the picture and will learn that bedtime means bedtime! The more attention you give his getting up, the more he will continue to do it.

Make sure you have a calming routine before bed...whether that is a bath, and books, but make sure there is no rough play or stimulating TV after a certain point in the evening.

The book I mentioned gives some good information regarding the importance of sleep and some common misconceptions regarding sleep - like if a child is really tired, they will sleep longer...in fact, the opposite is true. The more overtired a child is, the more difficult it can be to get them to sleep. So making sure your child has enough sleep, enough naps, is important to them being able to sleep at night! I HIGHLY recommend it!!! Good luck!!

4 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

do your bedtime routine. at 2.5 he is old enough to grasp the concept of bedtime. have supper, bath, story, bed. if he gets up take him back one time nicely. if he gets up again then it is sternly put back, 3rd time the door gets closed or a gate gets put up. let him yell and scream. he won't do it for long if he learns it doesn't work. mine used to yell and scream and a couple times I found him asleep at the gate to his room. but he was fine and after a couple days he didn't even get up anymore.

1 mom found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Megan gave some stellar advice!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

For all of mine we did the nice day routine, enough exercise, no sugary food, etc. Stories, nice bedtime, comfy snuggly beds. Once they got out of the crib and moved to beds (around two) they got ONE ATTEMPT at getting out of bed, then put back nicely ONCE with a clear warning that they would get a pop on the butt if they came out again. Two of them never needed the pop and just stayed in bed, and one needed one pop and didn't push it again. Sounds harsh, but there was no anger or drama involved, and they were used to consistency for immovable "rules", and since we were always going to need them to go to bed, we treated it as an immovable rule. It wasn't too difficult actually because they sensed our resolve. They always knew bed time was bed time and that was it. They've always been great at going to bed and great sleepers. We didn't want to use gates etc, we knew they could do it. We would have done the same for trying any fits so they didn't try it. Just treat it like a pleasant daily routine that is enforced in no uncertain terms and don't allow the drama. Sounds like he's succeeding at engaging you into his refusal to stay in bed. Don't engage. If you are consistently in charge most of the time, bed time will be no different.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I like what Megan said. I'll add:

-make sure the time you are trying to put him to bed isn't too early
-does he still nap? If so, make sure bedtime isn't that close to when he
woke up
-make sure he exerts physical energy during the day
-I've had to adjust my son's bedtime several times
-since I'm a SAHM, I am not uber strict on the actual time
-have a routine
-try to wind down in the evening
-don't put him to bed too early
-make sure he has a night light
-stay in his room w/him but don't talk after giving him love & saying good night

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