Never Visits Added More Info to My Question Can You Read and Offer Answers

Updated on April 06, 2013
M.A. asks from Arlington, MA
6 answers

asked about no visits from son in law and how my daughter has changed added more info as requested

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

M., the thing to do is to put your extra information into a NEW post with a clear title. You don't need to say "please read and offer answers" because that's what ALL posts are asking for. You don't want to ask people to go back through old posts to find yours. Forget the previous one, and start fresh with a specific title issue, and see if you get better responses. Whatever you added you can copy and paste into a new and clearly worded post.

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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

I just read your first question and mabey I'm not understanding right but it seems you only want them to come over so that they can help do chores? I would not want to come over either. I'm sure they have enough chores at their own house. I think you should write her a nice letter letting her know how much you love her and would like to spend more quality time with her and her hubby (no chores) and let her know how excited you are that the baby will be here soon.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

She is about to have a baby. She is your daughter, just offer to help her in whatever way she will accept right now. Invite her to your house if you can't go to her house. The son in law doesn't have to come along.

Just keep putting out love and support to your daughter.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You know what? You need to back off of your daughter and her husband, and ask them what you can do for them. Ask them what they need. If they ask for time and space, give it to them. Tell them you would like to repair the relationship and you're willing to do whatever it takes to do that. Tell her that you're ready to take a good, long, hard look at yourself and how you've contributed to damaging the relationship and would like to hear her side of things.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

If English is a second language I understand why I'm having difficulty understanding what it is you want answered. Your posts do sound like you're being judgmental/critical of your daughter and son-in-law. I suggest that you cannot win them over by criticizing them.

You can win them over with love. Instead of being upset that they don't visit you, try visiting them. Call and ask to come visit. Take cookies or some delicious food to give them. Take something for the baby. When you call to talk with your daughter say only positive things. Tell her how proud you are that she is having a baby. Ask her how you can help her.

It would help me to answer your question if you could describe what has caused this rift. I hear that you're unhappy because your daughter and son-in-law don't visit you. I hear that they are unhappy. Why?

And if English is your primary language, and even if it's not, I suggest that you take a class to learn how to express yourself in writing. I can see how communication would be difficult between you and your daughter and her husband.

So, first, change your attitude. Always be positive when talking with them.
And, second, learn how to use the English language to express those positive feelings.

M.O.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm not sure what you are looking for.

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