Neighbor Kids Coming Over

I think the best thing you can do for this child is to be a positive influence on him whenever you have the opportunity to. Show him kindness and what a loving family is like. It's really sad that he was even still up at 9:30pm. The fact that the parents are (maybe) young doesn't mean anything though, just be aware of that. I know some young parents who are amazing, as I know some who are older and are no so great/nice. If this boy is 5, then he probably will start school in September, and hopefully things will get better then. Good luck!

The personalities are really not a consideration. If a 5 yo came to my door, I would tell him that my kids are in bed and he probably should be in bed soon too. I would then walk him home and knock on the door and tell his parents he was at your house (did he sneak out? Did they even know he was out?). If he was MY kid, I'd want the parents to bring him back and tell me where he was.
If the children are at your house at appropriate times playing with your kids, I would show kindness, let them know they can trust you, feed them a snack, whatever you can manage, etc.
IF (and that's a big IF) you are feeling it is an abusive home, you've gotta call Child Protective services right away.

I am so sorry you have to go through this it is a terrible place to be! What did you do when the little boy came over? You mentioned the father do you see or talk to the mother?

We had a situation somewhat like yours. The little girl would come over at all times during the day one time the mother asked could the daughter come over after 9:00 a night she had to go out. Our children were in bed and they were a few years younger than her. It was very sad. It was a family in crisis but I knew they were getting some help. Our children went to school together.

My only thought is if you can make a confidential referral to a social agency. Confidential because you said the father can be mean and you have to live in close proximity.

I know it is not overly helpful but wanted to reach out to you.

I would call the non emergency # for your local police dept. Report all this anonamously (sp?) leave out the specific -came to your house at 9:30 -if that will identify you. They police should do a welfare check.

I understand your position. It is very difficult to watch things like this happen and not step in. Do step in - do the right thing. Treat these children like they are your own. Feed them, love them, teach them that not everybody has to turn our like the parents they have been biologically connected with. You could be the one person who touches these children to become the next teacher, pastor, governor, or even just how to be a good parent. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Let your light shine and allow this child to become a better person.

If a 5 year old is knocking on your door at 9:30pm at night in a neighborhood that sounds unsafe (though what neighborhood is safe at 9:30pm at night for a 5 year old, all alone without parental supervision?)..it seems you should call child services and have a social worker go out to the house. Make sure it is anonymous so that you do not put yourself or your children at risk for revenge from your neighbor (the father, in particular, if you think he's in a gang.). This little boy could have been snatched by a stranger if he's out at that hour without his parents even paying any attention. Also, if he's 5 he should be in school, not at home all day with his parents. And it goes without saying that he should be fed regularly, also by his parents. There are plenty of food programs that are very easy to get onto for a parent who has little or no income, and food stamps, WIC coupons (WIC stands for WOMEN INFANTS CHILDREN and it's a state run program for women with children who need help getting food for their kids.)...there is NO EXCUSE for this child not getting food.

Call social services. You could save a life.

We had a similar situation happen to us shortly after we moved in to our home. we were in our early 20's with no kids at the time and when we were moving a brother and sister form down the street walked right into our house(door was open to move things in) they left after a few mins but returned almost daily sometimes after dark. Both my husband and i were concerned. we asked the kids (6 and 9) if their parents knew where they were. they said they told them they were out playing with friends (we were the friends) often the kids just wanted to talk after we got a puppy they wanted to play with it. After a few visits we walked the children home and met their parents. The parents seemed to not mind that the kids came to our house. We tried to keep the kids form coming inside to avoid problems later and if they wanted to play we would go sit outside and talk with them or play remote control cars. they started coming around less and less when we told them they had to call their parents every time they showed up. When the kids show up at your house tell them they can play for a certain amount of time and then tell them your children have chores or something to do and that way they aren't left to play at your house all day

the last thing a wanna be gangsta is the police or alot of attention. just bring the child back to his parents and tactfully mention its late or children are asleep already.

Walk him back to his own house, knock on the door ceremoniously, and as dramatically as possible say :Oh My Gosh!!! You must have been so worried! I found little David, at my house! I bet you thought he was in bed???!!! I would just die if anything happened to him!!!

Be bold and be very worked up! Do not be shy about the gesture!!!!
It is likely that they will "get it" and understand that he can't be out at any time on his own...but not especially after dark.
it is not time to call childrens services until they let it happen again. He is not your kid, you don't know what his parents actually "get", and everyone deserves one mistake.
His folks might actually think that everyone does this.
I hope for his sake that his parents get it together quickly.

very difficult. i dont know, but i dont know that i would send him right home if he came to you like that. what is he running from? maybe he is just bored, but maybe not. see if you can talk to him a little. i dont know how involved you want to be, its such a difficult situation, esp since dad sounds kind of scary and your priority is always your own children. do you think he is hungry? i think that lots of school districts have pre-k meal programs to provide for those who need it. again, its the touchy problem of getting involved, i just dont know. however....you might not be able to feed him, but a hug and some gentle reassurance that you are there if he needs you might mean a lot more to him. just something to keep in mind, you might be all he has. good luck.

WOW! You sound like you have a very big heart and its being tugged pretty hard. Mine would be too!! You do have to protect your family first and you and yours are put in any danger by having the child over than, well you know the answer. With a youngster coming over alone at that time and everything else you've said , you might consider contacting the school, your church or child protective services. Sounds like he's crying out for help!

God Bless you for caring!

Under normal circumstances, I would want to report this to CPS since a 5-year old should not be waundering around at night unsupervised. But with the dad being a questionable sort, I would be afraid of him being vidictive. I'm not sure if there is a lot you can do other than send the children home when they come knocking on your door so late at night or when they are looking for a meal. And you may want to have a goal of moving someplace with better neighbors when finances allow.

Good luck to you. I know that it is a tough situation to be in.