What Would You Do? - Wyoming, MN

I would've so done the same thing as you! If their parents aren't caring enough to keep their children safe, I see it a positive thing to have a "nosey neighbor" keeping tabs on the kids. Thanks for being gutsy enough to call the police!

V.,
I'd call the cops everytime. Eventually the boys will end up getting some help - even if its involuntary. You can always follow up with the police on the matter.

That is TERRIBLE!!!! How can the parents not care?? I would have done exactly the same thing. If the parents won't do anything, call the police! It is illegal!

V.-

I applaud you!! You are not only a caring involved mother for you little boy, you care about other children you see. We should help other children. I believe in the idea that it takes a village to raise children and your example here fits that perfectly. It is unfortunate that the parents do not seem to be showing much concern for the behavior of the boys. What these teenagers choose to do does affect others around them. So it is even more appropriate that you stepped in as they could hurt others inadvertently and then be left to deal with that for the rest of their lives.

I got goose bumps reading your entry. Good job-

Kathy M.- Mother of 4 daughers.

I would have called the police. And if you see it again, I would suggest calling the police again! Besides obviously being illegal, this is DANGEROUS!

If the parents aren't going to do anything, somebody else has to.

Also, I will mention what my mother did with "troublesome kids" in our neighborhood- he invited them over for cookies! After one time of cookies with my mom, most of them made themselves scarce whenever they saw my mom, my sister or me, but, every so often, one of them would actually be polite and well-mannered instead of running for the hills :)

Either way, it worked. Kids stopped ripping up our yard with their bikes, the air was never let out of our tires again. She also drafted these kids into doing yard work after the cookies, and pumping the tires back up with bike tire pumps...

If you wanted to follow in my mom's footsteps, her solution would probably be to volunteer to be the adult passenger for these kids for a while, and have them over for dinner a couple of times! LOL!

A couple things come to mind....first it is possible that these boys are taking matters into their own hands. If your parent wasn't involved/interested in your life and you had reached this "milestone" wouldn't you want to be practicing. Is it possible that they are crying out for someone, anyone to notice them and maybe even offer to practice drive with them? Not that you have to do this but I might so I will suggest it. Is it possible that you could practice drive with them once in awhile? Are they responsible enough that one could play with your son for 30 minutes while you drive with another? And then the next time switch who drives and who child sits? This way they are learning a lesson in driving but also learning a lesson in caring for and being responsible for another (which it sounds like they are not getting or learning from their parents). Upon caring for another child it may occur to them how dangerous of an action it is to drive without supervision (you could help them to focus on safety while caring for your son. Of course, approach the parents with the idea first and do so in a loving way as if you want to help them, their kid and suggest that it would be a great learning experience for you too who will be doing this same thing with your son in a few short years. Just an idea!

Good for you...you did the right thing. What if they end up killing themselves or someone else??? You can have peace of mind that you did something.

I would have called the police. They could have seriously hurt themselves or someone else.

Dear V., you did the right thing. On the gravel road 1 1/2 miles from my house, there is a memorial in the ditch where a 15 year old neighbor died a few summers ago. He was letting his 12 year old friend drive his mother's SUV when they lost control. You did those kids a favor. K.

GOOD JOB!!!! I wish there were more parents out there like you. I would have called the cops too. I have 2 high school girls and 2 younger kids and there are A LOT of strange families out there. As your kids get older you run it to them more. It is sad that the parents don't care what the kids are up to. Hopefully, someone else can help watch out for these kids before it is too late for them. I would call the cops every time maybe even tell them that you have talked to the parents in the past and they don't seem to care. The cops may then go talk to the parents as well.

I'd have done the same thing you did and I hope the police came and caught them.
B. H

I think you did the right thing. I would have probably called the police also.

I would have done the same thing. There are reasons people have to have a license before they drive. Responsibility is one of them... and obviously these kids, and their parents, are not very responsible. If it happens again, I would definately contact the police... they shouldn't be driving without a license. You might not confront the boys or their parents directly if you feel you won't get a helpful response from the parents... it would probably just tip them off that you told the police, then you might risk issues with them. Do your best to stay out of the situation, with the exception of your contacting the police as necessary.

I would continue to call the police, and what would it hurt to tell the parents that their kids are doing something illegal. There are parents out there that don't care but I'm sure they will care when the kids get in a wreck, especially if some one is seriously injured or killed, that will fall back on to the parents. I would get to the point of being annoying about it. Because neither you or I want them on the streets, illegaly and unexperienced. Keep calling the police and their parents. If the parents get mad at you, so what, you're keeping people alive!!!

You did the right thing calling the police. If you hvae tried to talk to the parents and met with a deaf ear, the only way to handle this is to call the law enforcement when you see if happen again. Leave it up to them to deal with the parents of these kids. They can actually cancel the training permits by notifying the State for these kids until they are old enough to drive as adults.

I am a 54 old Grandmother of 11 ranging in age from 4 to 21.

I would have done exactly what you did. Way to go girl!

Too many people turn the other way because "it's none of my business"

Well guess what- It is.

Anytime I hear anyone talk about drinking and driving whether I know them or not- whether the are serious or not I flat out tell them--- "I have kids out on those roads- you have no right, and you better hope it isn't one of my loved ones you mess up when you wreck cuz you dont want me for an enemy.

V.,

You did the right thing. Call the police and let them handle it. If the parents don't care then let them face the consequences when the kids get in trouble. Fortunately, no one got hurt. These kids are dangerous on the roads without supervision. Good job on your part.

L. :)

I think you did the right thing. If you have tried approaching the parents in the past, you need to take the next step. This is a serious matter and not something that should be ignored.

I would have called the police as well! I think it was great that you did that. Maybe the parents will take their kids' behavior more seriously if the police come knocking on their door! I think your neighborhood is lucky to have you. Someone trying to protect their neighborhood and the people in it. Good for you! It's very sad to me that the parents don't know what their kids are up too! (Or don't care). Good luck to you.

Good for you on calling the police!! I know that you do not want to call the police all the time, but when there is really young kids out horsing around in a car, that is just serious danger waiting to hit!!!!!! I know all kids do stupid things wether they are very well supervised from there parents/guardians, or not. But there are way too many kids that have parents that just don't care, and let there kids do anything, or just are so blind that they just think "my angle would never do anything like that". If you have called there parents before and got nothing from them, the police were the way to go. Its not fair to you when you are trying to raise a 9 year old boy right, and then you have "bad boys" near you to real him in.. Don't worry I would have done the same thing!!!!

Document (pictures, camcorder, writting, witnesses, etc.) the stuff that is going on. And keep on calling the police. Show them the evidence (after you've gathered some). Good Luck.

As I was reading your post, I was thinking, call the police. Way to go! I hope these kids shape up before they hurt someone. What a shame that their parents won't take responsibility for their kids. At some point it may also be appropriate to call child protective services.... Good luck!

V.,

I agree with everyone else. You did the right thing by calling the police. If you've tried the parents and they refuse to do anything, you need to take the next step - the police.

I would do so the same.

L.

V.,
I would have called the police, too. Just as you did. Other than that I don't think there's more to do. Their parents seem worthless. Good luck.

I would have done the same thing. If the parents don't seem to care what their kids are doing, then I too would just call the police instead.
You did the right thing. What if they got in an accident and hurt someone?? Are these parents really that dense?!?!
If you see them doing it again, call the police again.......
Way to go V.!!

oh my goodness! I would keep calling those police every single time I saw them! I wouldn't hesitate. I wouldn't call anonymously either. I'd place the call and talk to the police so maybe they can come and talk to the kids in person and scare them a bit (or hopefully a lot). I don't know where you are from, but recently in Minneapolis there was a 15 year old boy who stole a car and got in a high speed chase with the police and killed a women. So it may start out as a harmless thing boys do, but you don't know how they will react in a difficult situation. I think it's great you are aware of this and can hopefully do something about it. Good luck!

You did the right thing V.! By calling the police, you might have saved a life. Good for you!

You did the right thing.

Now all you can do is wait and see if the police do anything.

If they do greattt as a Tiger said.

If not what with your coaching and scout ties you maybe able to approach the school to get involved and help.

It may be best to call the local social services office and license buruea also.

It may come back and haunt you and your family if they know it is you that tried to help them true.
But what if one of these pre teenagers hits and injures or kills a animal or human?

The parents do not care it sounds like enough if at all.
But you do it sounds like.

So please stay strong and stand up proudly for you truly are one who cares.

I would have done the same thing and called anonymously. Since they only have Learner's permits and do not have much experienc driving, this could be very dangerous to them or anyone on the road around them, not to mention the legality issue. With my main concern being safety, which I am sure is yours as well, I definitely would have done the same thing. Feel confident about your decision, it could save a life!

I would totally agree with you. I was thinking 'call the police' before i finished your post and saw that's exactly what you did! :) If it happens again, do the same thing. If the police catch them at it a time or two it'll wake up those parents.. (Hopefully!!!) And hopefully they'll see how out of control their kids are!

Keep standing your ground, you're doing the right thing!

I would call the parents just so you have peice of mind that you have done all that you can do. I am with you on calling the police. I am a newer Mom and now I look at these situations in a different light like what would happen if they lost control and would drive into my house. I am with you....keep on trying and notify the police everytime you see them.

You know you did the right thing. I would continue doing anon. police calls if necessary, only because you don't want to be 'that meddling snitch neighbor" or whatever the kids or parents would call you (thus shifting the blame onto you). You want to be the neighbor that the kids can go to when mom and dad have drank too much or care too little. Consider looking into Al-Anon on their behalf and give them the information when they need it. As always, call CPS if the situation seems really serious, but be careful, sometimes the outcome to a CPS call can be worse than the situation that prompted it. Wow, good luck

You did the right thing. As a police officer nothing scares us more than an unlicensed juvenile driving the local streets ( and we all know they will get bolder and drive farther). And you can tell the dispatcher you would like to stay anonymous. Telling dispatch the plate or the exact address the vehicle came from will help a police officer do a follow-up. If you don’t get detailed with dispatch it is hard for police to do a follow-up.

I would have done the same thing. I would feel just awful if these kids had an accident and killed someone else or themselves. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!

There is no question--you did absolutely the right thing. In fact, you would be doing something horrible by not calling the police after witnessing what you saw.

I would have also made a phone call to child protective services and the school principal for each and every child involved in the incident.

When you report unlawful activity such as this you need to remember to keep yourself and your family safe. People are able to find out who called the cops on them. The way to best ensure this is to preface any and all discussions with officials with, "I do not allow you to release my name to the offenders"...and in the event the police don't care about you remaining anonymous, make sure you use a payphone (unless it is an emergency which is a no-brainer: use your cell phone). Chances are, what they are allowing their children to do outside of the home is probably not as bad as it gets inside their home.

Good for you, V.! I would have done the exact same thing! I wish more adults would stand up when they see kids who need correcting. Thanks for helping keep our community safe!

You did the right thing!!! KEEP IT UP! My son was in his driver's ed class a few years ago, and after the very last class the instructor followed some kids out to their cars and found they had been driving themselves there - with only a permit. They were arrested and now unable to get their real license until they're 18. Sounds like you'll have your hands full with these kids in your neigborhood. Keep your doors locked!
M.

You didn't say whether the cops caught them. That would take care of any need to bring it up, right?
If not, then I would definitely tell the parents AS WELL AS call the police. Just approach the parents out of concern for the boys' safety. I also wouldn't wait for another incident. It may or may not stop another joy ride, but I think you have a moral obligation to let the parents act on this or not. They can't do anything without knowledge of the activity. You are choosing for them by not letting them know.

You absolutely did the right thing! Their parents are being lazy, and may be alcoholics. Somebody needs to watch out for those kids before they hurt themselves or somebody else.

Kudos to you for not ignoring this type of behavior!!!! I fully believe that it takes a village to raise a child, especially when the child in question is being raised by the village idiots who ignore inappropriate behavior (and are then surprised when something bad happens and try to put all the blame elsewhere). I would have (and have) done the very same thing you did. If more people got involved and spoke up when they see things happening instead of brushing them aside or thinking "not my kid, not my problem" all of our kids (and our safety and our community) would be better off.

Hi V. -- I would have called the police too, but not anonymously. If you tell them not to tell your neighbor who called they won't. If you give your name the police are more likely to take you seriously. If you tell the police about other incidents they will know you are in a position to know what's going on. Kids have to learn that actions have consequences and parents have to learn that inaction has consequences too.

Hi V.,

You did the right thing. If those children would hurt someone accidentally or got hurt themselves you would've never forgiven yourself.

Don't go second guessing yourself.

If your neighbors can't be grown ups and parent their children and give them structure, it's a good thing they have you. And ya know, they might not appreciate what you did now, but they will later in life.

It's one thing if the parents know about the situation. Some children are mature enough to drive at 15. A lot of children growing up in our community drove at young ages, because they live on farms and they drive tractors in the fields.

But if you have irresponsible children with irresponsible parents, it only leads to trouble.

Many Blessings to you!

J.

You did the right thing! I am a cop's wife and I thank you!

I would have done the same thing you did. What they have done is against the law and the police should be notified. Each contact with law enforcement will bring the family under scrutiny and if needed, eventually will be in the Juvenile Courts. There, the parents will be evaluated and perhaps get some parenting classes. At the very least the children (and the other children's parents) will have an opprotunity for change and education they would not otherwise be exposed to.

The danger these kids are putting everyone else in is unacceptable. You have a duty to protect yourself,your child and others. By doing what you can to get them out from behind the wheel, you are helping to create a safety zone that if you had done nothing, would be a danger zone. Not to mention the potential for property damage...

The only thing I would have done differently is I would have given my name. Working in the legal arena I know that having a thrid party witness can either make or break their case. Good luck!

I'm in agreement and would have done the same - call the police!

You did exactly the right thing, but depending on your neighborhood, you may need to give your name the next time. Being a neighbor means your presonal property and well-being are at stake, and the police may take the call more seriously. If you call the family directly first, you can then tell the police that you have tried to communicate with your neighbors, but to no avail. We should all be proactive about illegal activities in our communities, even seemingly minor ones. When we each think in terms of our families being the potential targets, we're more motivated to be proactive. In our neighborhood the police encourage us to call-in even little things, because they try and keep track of trends in different areas of town and direct squad cars there.

SAHM of seven

You did a good thing by calling the police and reporting this. If they did catch these kids, they would have taken them to the station and would have had the car towed, then they would have called the parents to have them picked up. What a surprise they parents would have gotten when they went to get their car only to find it gone. Towing cost: $150.00 (min), Court cost: $75.00 +, Lawyers fees: $75.00 (per/hr), The knowledge of doing something right: Priceless.

L.

I know this will be tough, but in my opinion you should tell the parents. If it continues, tell the police non-anonymously. These kids could hurt themselves or someone else. Someone needs to look out for these kids since the parents aren't.

I would have done the same thing..don't feel guilty about it. If you keep seeing them driving around, keep calling the police. If the police haven't talked to the parents yet, after a few calls they're guaranteed to. If you dont' want to make it seem like you're trying to get the kids in trouble, remember that if they are not liscensed then they are putting the lives of everyone else at risk by driving around. I once called the police because my husband and I were out at a bar and it was like 11:30 at night at there was a woman there with a little girl, couldn't have been more than three years old. They asked me if the woman was drinking and I said she was drinking something out of a cup, but I wasn't sure what it was. The point was that there was a 3 year old (same age as my daughter at that time) in a smokey bar at almost midnight. I felt much better after I called the police because I knew that the situation was going to be addressed, and no matter if the woman was drinking or not it was totally unacceptable for the little girl to be there. Look at your situation the same way...the situation will be addressed by the police and the behavior of these kids is totally unaceptable because of their age, time of night, and having no liscenses. Give yourself a pat on the back :)

Probably nothing new here, but would have done the exact same thing. Let the authorities handle it... you're still getting involved, but not doing so directly. If you knew the parents better or knew that they cared what their kids were up to or were responsible parents, I might have brought it to their attention, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. Unfortunately, you never know these days how people will react to your getting involved... if the kids knew you spoke with your parents, would they vandalize your property, etc? I think you found the perfect solution...

I would keep notifying the police like you did before--this is a wreck waiting to happen--if the police keep showing up--I would think that would open up the parents eyes--good job--we all have to look out for each other!!
I applaud you---
Blessings----S.

Since they are endangering other lives I would have called the police as well!

You did a great thing, for the community, for those boys and for yourself. I would have done the same thing, and I would do it in the future too. Some parents just don't get it and make our job (as parents) twice as hard. Thank you and good luck. Take care

You did the right thing. I would do it every time and let the police know that you know who the boys are. The police can still keep your identity out of it, but these boys are risking way more than the wrath of mom and dad. They are risking life and limb. Maybe even yours.

If the parents didn't seem to care I would have done the same. Those children were not only putting their lives at risk but the lives of others as well. Driving can be dangerous (especially at night) when you have had 20 years experience let alone just having your learners permit. I say that you did the right thing.

Most definitely you did the right thing. It's a matter of time before they crash, or hurt someone. The parents will hopefully be met by someone in uniform at their door too, before anything bad happens. ct

Hi V.,
I would have done the same thing as you did. I would feel horrible if I heard that 3 boys were joy riding and killed or injury someone. So now the parents will have to become responsible for their own kids. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!!!!
L.

You did the right thing, I would have do the exact same thing. If their parents are not going to take responsibility for them the rest of us & our children do not need to be put in danger. Inexperienced drivers account for most of car accidents.
Brekka

I would have called the police too - you are protecting them from harm and also others so you did the right thing. My sister took my Dad's car out for a joy ride when she was 14 or so. Her and her friend crashed it but managed to come home, park the car and pretend it got stolen. Not only did she get caught when a neighbor saw her but she was in pretty deep trouble with my parents. Kids that age don't realize the harm in taking a car and going for a ride. Many are killed every year and I am glad you took it upon yourself to do something about it before it was too late.

V.,
I think you did the right thing. It seems clear that the parents aren't paying enough attention to what's going on and that someone needs to step in. Hopefully the police caught them and the parents got a bit of a wake up call.
J.

V.,

Kudos to you because I would have done the exact same thing. Shame on their parent's to let it get to the point where their own kids think/know they "can" do stuff like that, and it not be a big deal. Even though they are teens, it is still a form of neglect. And the fact they you have made an effort to try and contact them about behavior issues.....makes me made when parents don't give a rat's a$$.

B.