Neighbor Issue

Can you say that you have to plan the playdate with the neighbors mom, on a day when both calendars are free, but you think the other mom's calendar is really busy these days? Then plan out some other playdates, or activities, so eventually she forgets about the neighbor?

That other daughter parroted what her mom said, about being neighbors and not friends. It's probably the mom that doesn't want to foster a friendship...it's a little sad but I've seen this happen sometimes!

Some people arent neighborly, period. You just have to tell your daughter that. Of course she will tell the little girl next door "My mommy said you arent neighborly"... haha.

:0) I would NOT tell your daughter anything she could repeat. Kids talk.
It would seem that the parents are more not into you if the girls have fun when playing together. Most of our neighbors are not into us either which at first I was sad about. Then some of their personalities and issues became obvious and I feel glad we aren't involved with them. I wish all the kids could just play, but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

Distract your daughter. Have her invite other friends over, join a dance class or other activity like Girl Scouts. The more exposed she is to other kids, the more likely she'll make friends that she clicks with and will not pursue the neighbor girl. You cannot force the friendships just because of location; friendships have to happen naturally..

Hello,

I say, don't force the issue. Let it progress, or not, by itself. I know how difficult this can be. I see it with my own kids. It's also difficult for me as well because in our neighborhood, all of the kids are boys, so my 6 yo girl has to tag along or be by herself. All of her "best friends" live 10 mins away by car so we do the best we can. So long as your neighbor isn't denying your daughter permission to play over there and you know that she is safe, let her go. Both of you should always continue to be cordial.

Good luck and God bless.

D.

Just tell her what you told us. Sometimes people just don't "click," and there is no explanation as to why. It isn't personal, it isn't anything. It is just how it is sometimes, and while it might make us a bit sad, it's just the way things are.

My daughter is 7, there are two 8.5 year old girls down the street. Until this year they had nothing to do with my daughter, they felt she was too young. This year they use her as a pawn, when they are mad at each other they play with her, otherwise they don't. I've told my daughter that no matter how they treat her she should be a gracious friend, however if they hurt her feelings she doesn't have to play with them. She has figured out for herself what is going on and has accepted it amazingly well, she's happy to play with them when they want to and happy to play with others when they don't.

Encourage your daughter to be friendly. If she's happy with the lopsided friendship there's nothing wrong with that, learning to respond with kindness even when the other isn't kind is a wonderful skill to have. However if the friendship is hurting her feelings then tell her honestly that it seems like the friendship is one-sided and if she's not ok with that then your are ok with her not playing with the little girl anymore.

Remember that 7 year old girls are drama queens - they will love each other one day, hate each other the next, and be bff the day after that!

I have the same problem with my 6 year old son. Everyday coming home and wanting to play with the neighbor kid. It has nothing to do with us however, his mother always says no. She has major control issues.
This could be the same in your case or it could just simply be the fact that they are hiding something and maybe your daughter shoudnt be around..Keep inviting the girl over and to bday parties. I dont know how long you have lived next door to this family.
For me, I just explain to my son that it has nothing to do with him. I let him know that he is a great kid with a great big loving heart and he has alot of great friends at school that love to play with him and maybe we can have another child come over for a playdate. Alot of times parents just dont want to bother with other kids in the home..Hope I helped:)

Find a new friend for your daughter so she is not distracted by the neighbor's daughter who just wants to be neighbors and not friends. It's because your daughter has no other option, she feels obligated to play with the neighbor.

I think it is great that you all have tried, but it is what it is..
We can be nice to people, but we do not have to be friends with them.
There is nothing wrong with that. There must be other kids (boys) in her class that she is friendly to, but they are not her best friends and she would not invite them over to play.. It is the same thing with these neighbors it is nothing personal you all just do not have a lot in common.. .

A., I have to tell you that we have a neighbor that was not friendly for the 1st 8 years we lived here although we each had 4 children the same ages and went to school together. Then my youngest who has Asperger's decided he wanted to have them as friends(the parents) the kids were nice enough. Each day my son waited til he saw the father come home and greeted him the same with the mom. She was very friendly just really busy between work and parenthood. Finally after months the dad came over and asked " why? why is he so persistant? why doesn't he leave us alone-- the last people lived in the house for 15 years and we never spoke to them ."" Well the dad learned that with a Autistic child it is easier to just say hi now go home and he will smile and go away. 20 years later they have been the best of friends and the dad still endures that my son wants his friendship and now we have grandchildren on both sides of the fence that like to interact . So sometimes it takes the oddest thing to break the ice and high walls people build around themselvesto come down. Just know that you can only still be yourself and eventually something will happen like a favorite rose bush or inviting her over without the children for a tea party, or a entire block party where people get to know one another. I live in an area where I only know the people on each side and a little family across the street. There are 14 other houses and ones a minister!
Keep being nice and friendly and let time heal all things.** My son just remembered the day when our dad and the neighbor dad had to figure out parking for all the teens cars and someof thier friends. They spent the entire day talking and being kind and working things out for all 8 teens with cars. I promise you that time will come and change will happen. Just do not let yourself become to emeshed ininit. and mke othr friends but welcome her to all that you do,
Nana Glenda
God Bless,

I really can't figure out what the issue is here. You're not friends with your neighbors. As long as you are cordial and there are no problems, I don't see the issue. If your daughter wants to go over and play and the timing is right, I see no reason not to grant permission. If the other parent doesn't want her over, they can always tell her it's not a good time to visit right now or something along those lines. Just because you grant permission for her to go over there, doesn't mean that they have to let her in. I think you're trying to make a situation where one doesn't really exist. If you're that uncomfortable with giving permission to your daughter to go over and play, then don't give permission. Tell her this time it's so and so's turn to come over to your house and tell her she can invite the neighbor over to play with her. If the neighbor child doesn't want to come over but instead invites your daughter in, what's the harm? I just don't get what the problem is.

I feel you do not have to click with your neighbors for your daughter to want to play with their daughter. Let it be just that. If the girls have fun let them have fun. Some parents have their own rules and don't like getting involved with the children's parents. It is their lose not yours. Don't take it personal.

Hope this helps.

N. Marie