Needing to Vent and Advice!!!

First of all - congrats to you for doing all of this alone!!

My first question would be about your brother and sister. If your dad cannot afford to take care of them, I'm sure you could 'foster' them and then you would get money each month - that may help so you could get a bigger place - maybe one more bedroom so each sibling could have their own room and your two small children could share. Just a thought.

As far as teaching you sister about things and being a motherly role - you said she was raised wtihout a mother. Were you around her while she was growing up? I would be open and honeest with both your brother and sister about what you expect from them. They are old enough to help around the house and respect you and your children. I would not put too much on them in regards to watching / taking care of your kids.

You say you and your children's father cannot afford to live together. Are you together? If so, it would be cheaper to have 1 place for rent/utilities/groceries than two each month. If you two are not together, he should be paying you child support. I do not suggest trying to live together if you aren't together as a couple.

As far as being stressed - it's understandable. Make time for yourself each day - even if it's a bath or a 10 minute walk after the kids are in bed. For your kids - it sounds like there has been a lot of changes (aunt/uncle moving in) so I wouldn't worry so much about teaching them to respect, but I would teach them by modeling. How do you treat your brother and sister? Their father? Your father? ETC. Kids learn by seeing what others do. Reward for good behavior - make them think/feel like you WANT them to succeed and do well (instead of always pushing them for what they are doing bad).

As far as your siblings yelling at them - you need a clear and concise line in the sand as far as what the rules are. Your kids are confused as to who is the authority figure. If you don't want brother and sister yelling at them or punishing them, tell them that.

Good luck! You sound like you have a lot on your plate!

Your siblings shouldn't be yelling at your kids at all, they are children themselves, they aren't their parents. And your kids' father should be there with them, I don't understand the "we can't afford to live together" bit. If you're doing it all on your own anyway, how can you afford NOT to live together? Your kids deserve a stable family unit. Your siblings need to know their place.

First of all, you are doing an amazing thing taking care of your brother and sister. It's really incredible, and I think you deserve some kudos for that.
Second of all, I was wondering if you have taken your brother and sister into your home "officially" or not? Are you considered their guardians? In the state of Ohio, this is called Kinship Care. The phone number for Preble County's Children's services is ###-###-#### . Ask for ext. 155 for more info on getting help with caring for family members. They can get you financial assistance, counciling for the kids, help with medical care, etc.
As for having issues with your siblings interfering with how you discipline your own kids, I would probably sit down with the two of them. Maybe take them out for dinner or something if you can. Explain to them how much you care for them and are so thankful for their help with the kids. Let them know that even though they are great with the kids, the actual parenting needs to come from you. It will take some unneeded pressure off of them too!
Good luck, and keep doing what you are doing!

First off, let me say: Kudos and a great BIG 'Good Job' to you for taking on your siblings!

I think what you have described is a perfect example of needing a 'Family Meeting'...just call one and get everyone together and express your feelings. Make sure you allow everyone a time to speak and express their feelings and clear the air. Don't be afraid to let them all know what you need from each of them.

We had these when I was growing up (I had a similar living situation only it was my cousin taking care of me, not a sibling) and they were the perfect way to get everyone back on the same page!

You can do this woman!

I am first struck by the "we can't afford to live together" statement. What does that mean?

And second really glad you took on this role, but you need to stap back and re evaluate whether this is right for you and your weeones.

Thirdly, parenting classes, counseling, all good ideas the other mama's have suggested and I concur. You can't do this alone so look for other resources. They're out there.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Counseling and parenting classes. But I would bet a million bucks that if you're hurting financially that you qualify for Federal Aid. Your daughter having an auditory sensory problem qualifies as a disability and with that come certain services that your daughter would be entitled to.

You should contact the Department of Social Services ASAP and set up a meeting with them to see what you qualify for, especially because of your daughter AND because you took in your siblings. If you're now their legal guardian and claiming them on your taxes, or you plan to, that could help as well. It could help with medical insurance, cash assistance, SNAP aka food stamps, and other types of assistance such as counseling and parenting classes without having to go through CPS.

Standing ovation for ya! your hands are full. You have to make your voice heard in your home. Your brother & sister's voice can not be louder and stronger than yours no matter what help they offer you. They are still teenagers and learning life's lessons so you are the mother figure for them 100% of the time IMHO.

When you are dealing with your children for something they did your siblings need to be silent at that moment seriously! your children need to hear your voice of discipline only. You do not want a lot of confusion in the household so make sure your silblings have rules as well as the children.