Need Some Advice - Las Vegas, NV

Eight months is to young to take a baby shopping. A day at the park seems more ideal(less work and fun for baby) But being that ur sister in law is 19 I can see she'd rather be at the mall. I'm sure she loves her lil niece to pieces, but it kinda sounds uncomfortable even to myself that she would want to take her SHOPPING! It takes alot of work, and a 19 year old may not realize it. Just tell her shopping isnt a good idea but she could watch her for a couple of hours for u and ur boyfriend can go to lunch. It makes sence if you feel uncomfortable the ages of both of them are young.

Hi A., why does she want to take an 8 month old shopping? are you truly uncomfortable because of her driving skills say no, Honestly when my kids were babies, I wouldn't have let anyone take, them she's still young, I would just be honest and tell your boyfriends sister, you are not ready for tht yet, she can be in the babies life without takinging her in a car. I say go with your heart. J.

Hi A.:
I believe,most of us mothers have experienced these feelings one time or another. It may have been the first time someone other than yourself,picked up your baby.I can recall watching intently,as my own mother craddled my son, wondering if she would remember,to craddle his tiny head in her hand.Its A mothers instinct,to want to protect her baby.They are so tiny and inocent,and precious to us,and we know,that they need us to be vigilent,when it comes to their well being,and care.First,I wouldn't take my 8 month old out shopping for the day,so I certainly wouldn't allow someone else to.It just isn't worth dragging a stroller, messing up the babies schedule, skipping her naps and having to deal with looks from customers,when she begins to cry,all this,because I couldn't wait? I would much prefer my shopping,be a pleasant experience and either have my hubby watch the baby for a little while, or my sitter.I would have a talk with your sister-inlaw. I would first tell her, that because the baby is still very young,that you are concerned about her going places without you.Tell her,that it would concern you,if anyone took your baby without you,but that your imediate concerns are that you noticed she drove a little fast. and that it worries you,not just for the baby but for her.You might suggest,that if she wants to take the baby to the store,She must first promise to drive slower while the baby is with her.Then I'd tell her she can take a short trip.Like 20-30 minutes. You don't want her gone any length of time,as you have worked hard to get her on a schedule for naps and feedings.Your sister inlaw should be old enough to understand,that You are protective of your baby and You worry about her when she is not with you.Tell her,she will understand better when she becomes a mother.The best of luck to you and your darlin daughter.

What does your boyfriend think? You don't want to start a family fued. If you don't want to cause trouble, tell her you want it to be a girls day out. Suggest lunch and shopping so the three of you can "bond."
My sister is a fast driver. The last time my daughter and I drove with her (5 years ago now) she got a ticket and my daughter hasn't ridden with her since.
If you're not a mom, you just don't get it, you know. They swear they are careful and the best at this or that, but no one watches like you do.

I agree that you should trust your instincts. If you don't want to hurt sil's feelings or keep the baby from her, you might suggest that the 2 of you go shopping together (you drive) and take the baby with you. I do not agree with those who have said 8 months is too early to take a baby to the mall. That is often how I would soothe our girls and get a little exercise too by pushing them in a stroller around the mall.

you know thats really up to you if you dont feel comfortable with letting your baby go alone offer to go with. if you do decide to allow your sil to take the baby please stress that she drives a bit more carefully. also call every so often just to see how the baby is doing and if your sil in handling it well. you can also say if she takes her shopping she needs to be back at a certain time so your baby gets at least one nap at home. your sister in law reminds me of myself at that age always wanting to take everyones baby shopping with me because it got me a little attention (im not trying to say she is but thats how i was) and now that i have my daughter i love showing her off. but really if something is telling you know maybe just say i would rather go with then let her go alone. good luck!

go with your instinct, don't jeopardize your baby's life b/c you feel bad. They will get over it. Just be honest and explain that you aren't ready yet. They need to respect that if they respect you.

If his sister makes you nervous with your daughter then don't do it. My husbands family didn't take our oldest away when she was young either and it's nothing personal even though she is family, you just know what makes you feel good and what doesn't and if she isn't a careful driver then you have a right to feel the way that you do because God forbid something happens to the baby then what will the family have to say? Im sorry doesn't cut it especially when you knew that you didn't have a good feeling about it.

I would just politely tell her that you don't want the baby to be out of the house without you, put it all on yourself, you don't even have to mention that you are worried about how her babysitting skills are. Just tell her that you don't like being apart from the baby and she can buy the baby stuff and bring it back to her. It's that simple but I have been there and I've let my husbands little sister watch the baby but while I was around, never by herself. She is a kid and I just didn't trust it myself.

NO. I would not allow this.

She does not seem responsible enough.
Your baby is only 8 months old... a baby is not a "toy or doll" to take out shopping just for fun.

What would she do if the baby poops and she needs a diaper change, or is crying, or is fussy, etc.

No. don't do it.
Take Care,
~Susan

Hey A.,
You are perfectly normal lol. I had the same problem except the girl who wanted to take my daughter out (who was only about 4 mths at the time, 6 mths now) was my friend who was gone to Iraq so she couldnt see the birth. She is 21. She is an awesome friend, but a not-so-careful driver and plus, how would my daughter feel gone, the whole day seeing all brand new people and how is she supposed to feel comfortable with staying with someone she just met a few minutes prior to their outing? Don't feel bad, and its not worth worrying the whole day. Maybe tell your bfs sis to come over and hang with the baby? Don't mean to sound harsh if it did, its just its not worth the worry.

You're not a paranoid freak, you are a good mom! I wouldn't say yes to this either. No one should take your baby out and about at this age except you and your husband. And no other family members should take the child out ever until they have spent time one on one with her just at the house first (you have to build up to this stuff). I am sure the sis-in-law has no idea what an outing to the mall with an 8 mo old actually entails. Suggest the three of you go together. Or she can come spend some quality time at home with her. Just tell them you are not ready for that stuff yet, any moms on your man's side of the family should be understanding of that.

Trust your gut. You're a first time mom and it's totally acceptable to be a paranoid freak (lol). I'd let the sister go ahead and take her, but you go with. If you don't feel comfortable with her driving - you drive. Let the sister feel like she's in charge (kind of) so that you get to see how she is with your daughter. Do this a couple times or 20 times until you're comfortable with her being on her own with your baby. Your first job is to protect your girl. I agree with the other post - put it all on yourself so that she doesn't feel like you don't trust her. Good luck!

I don't think it sounds silly - my two kids ages 3 and 4 have yet to drive in the car with their aunts/uncles/grandparents to go on outings w/them alone. I just don't feel comfortable and that is my choice. This is your choice, don't compromise what you feel comfortable with!!