Need Psychologist or Psychiatrist ASAP...Mom of 3 Depressed, and a Little Lost

I too have had my moments with depression and a husband that doesn't quite understand it. I gave up trying to get him to understand and focused on what i needed. I would say a psychologist because you might not need medication ( psychiatrist). Also have you tried exercise? I have 2 kids 6 and 4, boys, im in boynton if you need to talk or get together.

Your PCP should be able to give you some recommendations.
Why not schedule an appointment & discuss?
Good luck to you!

My goodness, you have your hands full and so busy. I understand what you mean about being so tired to go out and make friends and also with all the moves, that's tough. Do you think you guys might move again?
Right before I gave birth, we ended up moving a new house. We were still living out of boxes when our child was born a week later. It's so hard to feel "home" and comfortable when there's so much going on.
I did have depression. I actually did talk to my OB-GYN and the PCP about referrals for some help. I ended up seeing both a therapist (LCSW) for "talk therapy" and also a psychiatrist who does both. I ended up taking antidepressants, which did help me, along with the therapist. With your healthcare insurance, Blue Cross should have listing of mental health providers that are covered. That's very helpful.
I am hoping that you can talk to your husband about what you need to do to take care of yourself - because an unhappy and depressed Mom makes it difficult to be fully there for the kids and also for him.
After seeing my healthcare providers regularly, my husband and I also went into couples therapy. It's important that both are on board for a healthy relationship and healthy you, especially if you're feeling resentful.
While he's on the corporate ladder, being home with children is more than a full-time job in my mind. It's a forever job and perhaps, you might be able to schedule some "me" time, even if it's for an hour or two - just to do something you want on your own or with your husband.
Do know that you are definitely not alone in this journey. There's Mamas from far away like me who are thinking of you and hoping you can get through this with some help.
I wish you well.

I won't recommend which type of doctor or therapist to see, but you should see someone. I will just share something I just heard on the news - there is a link between depression and high sugar consumption. One thing that definitely won't hurt is a healthy diet and exercise regimen. But maybe you do this already.

Hugs.

Yep! Its totally that bad. Smile.

As in what I want you to practice saying.

While making goofy faces in the mirror.
While tickling your little ones
While pooping

At least 10 times a day, until you can say to HIM

"Yep! Its totally that bad." Smile

And be okay, instead of collapsing inward with self doubt and uncertainty.

Which... In and of itself (husband questions you, and you crumble) IS that bad.

It may be "nothing". Which means it will sort out quickly. It may be "that bad" and need a few months, or meds, or longer and no meds, or or or or. But the point being... When you don't even know your own mind anymore (when a single question or argument reduces you to flatline, even if lovingly asked ANC meant with the best intentions)... You NEED to get that awesome sense of security & joy of knowing your own mind BACK.

First of all, no wonder you are feeling stressed an anxious. You have been through more changes (bodily and emotinoally and physically) in the last six years than some people go through in a lifetime.

I'd say your PCP is a good place to start for a referral. I'd say talking with a therapist and possibly a marriage counselor is good since your feelings involve your relationship with your hubby.

Good luck!

Sending hugs your way, Mama. Sigh... yes. It really is that bad and you need to see someone asap.

I have had good luck with a Marriage and Family Therapist, and have come a long way from where I once was. I got really lucky by finding someone that I clicked with right away and she's been a complete blessing in my life, but it isn't always that easy to find a good therapist form what I've been told.

I never thought it was "that bad" either, but I never knew any different. You don't have to live the way you are. Call your insurance and find out what kind of behavioral health benefits you have. They should have a list of people for you to call, and a good one will get you in asap because you're in crisis.

You aren't alone and there is help for you, B.. Good luck to you~

You are a human being with the need for social interaction and interpersonal connections! Shocking!

While a counselor can help, ultimately all you may really need is a good friend or two. You need to meet some of your social / emotional needs outside of your kids and husband. Your husband is having this great sense of accomplishment at work as he continues up the ladder while you wither away as his moving coordinator, nanny and sexual partner. It seems your husband is not truly aware of how lonely you are and how you're just tired of making new friends that you'll have to say god bye to one day.

My suggestions:

1 - Have a talk with your husband. Tell him you're not sure "it's really that bad" - that you probably don't have a bio-based mentah health issue but you're just lonely and tired of losing friends with each move. Ask how he'd feel if he was at home with three little kids kind of isolated every day. Ask him to think on that. Suggest that you two spend more time together whether out on family "dates" (saturday morning at the park, going for a walk with strollers, grabbing breakfsat or lunch to eat on the park bench while the kids play on the playground) find a church you can go to together (most southern churches have nursery and sunday school for the kids so you can relax, maybe even hold hands), go as a family to a Pixar movie together (the kids and adults can enjoy them) and get a baby sitter and the two of you go out and do what you want to do.

2 - Find a MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. They usually meet at churches and they are moms like you who are spending way too much time alone with little kids and need some adult conversation. I know moms who met life-long best adult friends at MOPS. Expect that there will be a couple of cliques of moms who are already BFFs - but there will be many like you who are desperate to meet others and forge friendships. Here's a link to MOPS groups in DelRay Beach area:

http://www1.mops.org/web/web_group_search.php

Pray and ask God to bring you a best friend. That's how I found 3 close friends and one best, best friend. We all have kids, one has older kids while the others have kids in the same range as mine.

3 - As for counselors - a talk counselor is either a certified social worker (CSW), a nurse practioner (MSN or PMHNP), or a psychologist (PhD). Of these, only the nurse practitioner can prescribe medication and only if she's working with a MD. You may or may not need medication - but maybe jsut someone to talk to. Any one of these would be appropriate and would be able to give you an idea of whether or not medication would be a good fit for you. Often medication for a short time is what's needed to just help you get out of a rut. Once you're out of it the medication often isn't needed.
The best way to find someone in your plan is to go to the plan's website (address is probably on the ID card). If you register as a member (need ID number from ID card) the website will direct you to your plan coverage and network. (By doing so you don't have to worry that you'll end up with a provider that's in another netowrk but not yours.) You're looking for "behavioral health" or "mental health" providers. Some insurance companies have a separate directory that you'll have to click on - or a phone number to call. Your PCP may be able to refer you to a counselor but he or she may not be in your directory. If that matters go tot he webiste - if not take your docs referral (maybe he/she ends up in your plan's network).

4 - Another good option is to see if your husband's employer has an EAP - Employee Assistance Program. Most larger employers (100+ employees) have one (often connected to the life or disability insurance company) and it's available for spouses / dependents. Its completely confidential and no one at the company can ever know the names of people who call (it's against the law). It would be in your plan booklet or on the company's benefits website. (You can call the company's HR department and ask if they have a website for employee benefits - most do these days) The EAP always provides at the very minimum 1 - 3 phone counseling sessions. Some also offer 1 - 5 in-person counseling sessions. By calling the EAP you can find out some basic information about what a mental health professional thinks about your personal situation and they will also provide referrals for counselors in the area. It's a good starting point.

5 - Psychiatrists. They are medical doctors with a specialty in mental health. They are best suited to write a presciption for antidepressants. While most primary-care docs will write a Rx for antidepressants, they are not usually up to speed on the latest medications and how they work best. For example, some meds tend you make you gain weight and impact your ability to enjoy sex. Others may tend to make you lose weight - or at least not gain weight - and one or two may actually heighten your sexual appetite. These are the things a psychiatrist is able to help with.

6 - Male or female - I've met with a lot of mental health professionals over the last few years with my daughter. From waht I've seen most women are most comfortable with other woman. They can talk about husbands, sex, kids, etc. feeling that the counselor can relate. However, from my personal experience - which is anecdotal and not statistically based - I find men to be better at listening and being more helpful. Women mental health providers want to be everyone's best friend but don't seem to bel able to cut to the chase and tell you what you need to know, even if it's tough to hear. But that's just based on the 8 mental health providers we've worked with over the last 4 years.

Good luck mamma - you have had a rough road with all the moves while being a supportive wife and mother of 3 little ones. You need a few good girlfriends to laugh and talk with! Better to have had good friends who you can keep intouch with on facebook when you move than to be lonely and depressed...

Last thing - have a heart-to-heart with your husband about his future plans for ladder climging. While it's great to achieve financial security (if that's even possible these days) what's the use of a comfortable retirement if your kids are strangers (to him). There's not a soul on earth who, on his deathbed, wished he had spent more time at the office. Moves aren't too tough on kids while they are young like yours - but, before you know it they'll be teens and moves are VERY rough on teens and from what I've seen over the years result in huge emotional issues for them.

Read Proverbs 31 about "a woman of God" and I think you'll see that you qualify in many of those areas. If it helps to know, many of the people God chose to do amazing things were people who struggled with personal sadness and depression (David, Moses, Paul) so there is great hope! Good luck mama - you are doing the right thing by taking this baby step to climb out of this! you go girl.

Your doctor should be able to provide a few recommendations. Even if your doctor can't fit in an appointment to discuss, he/she may be able to provide recommendations by phone.

I agree, ask your doctor for a referral. For me, the solution to anxiety and depression was a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy with a counselor, and antidepressants prescribed by my PCP.