Need Parenting ADHD Support Group off Tollway

Updated on January 17, 2006
M. asks from Dallas, TX
8 answers

I need help on how to parent a 4 yr old boy that a nuero-psychiatrist says has adhd, dev delay, speech problems. His little 2 1/2 yr old sister is copying him and making it very difficult for me to parent either one. I have lost my sense of humor, how to have fun and laugh with them, and now my patience is gone. Not to mention how bad my self esteem is and how consumed my thoughts are that I am a terrible mother and my kids hate me, or that I have ruined them and their happiness. What do I do? Where can I go for help? I can not afford anymore therapies or people, because we private pay all his medical.(3 therapies/wk) Please email me if you have any ideas.

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M.

answers from Dallas on

M.,

You must be so exausted. I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you. It is hard to give advice because I am sure wat I say will be fruwstrating because I am sure that you feel that you have tried everything!

I used to be a teacher and I worked especially well with children just like your son, in fact they put every child on medication in my class most years! Now I am a stay at home mom with two of my very own to teach me more than I ever thought I could have known about children! What I have learned works well with children who have ADHD is:

1. Try not to get into battles with them (give two choices)If you put them in a box, they will just become defiant or shut down. Always give them a way out so that they can keep theri integrity. I will give examples later if you want!

2. Remain calm (the louder your voice is or more irritable you appear, the less control you have over the child) Take a deep breath if you have to!

3. Positive reinforcement works well with EVERY CHILD and even adult! Try to find at least one thing your child is doing right! Even if it is sitting quietly! Especially when he does something after you ask him to. If this is not your usual approach, it may seem awkward the first time you try it, but you will be AMAZED by the results! As parents, we just feel that kids should do what we say when we say it. We just expect it and often times don't acknowledge or appreciate all of the time that they do listen to us!

I hope that I was able to help at least a little! Hang in there. You will get through this! I highly suggest the book, Parenting with Love and Logic.

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C.

answers from Dallas on

you could see a therapist who offers services on a sliding scale. I saw a therapist for about 9 mos. when my son was just over a year old, and I didn't have nearly the issues with him that you describe with your child (children). it sounds like you're living for your kids (understandable and normal!) and you need to see someone for yourself to help yourself right now. their sliding scale may slide all the way down to free, I don't know. I contacted my church and got help there (they have a counseling center).

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V.H.

answers from Dallas on

I work for an ADHD Clinic in Dallas and understand the expense. I would suggest Attention Deficit Disorder Association in Houston, TX they have a Dallas office but will be able to direct you to a local support group. Also, you may look at www.chadd.org for referrals. I have a son with ADHD/Aspergers Syndrome and believe me I know how hard it can get. Have to be a complete saint to always have patience:)

Hope this helps you.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

wow, that's a lot to handle.

I would definitely try to get her in a playgroup so she can see what her peers are going.

IN fact I'd try to join a playgroup that both kids can play at, so both kids can see more often how other kids behave.

~~ i wish you the best

L.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Check out an outreach group (support group) called Twice Blessed. It is worth a try for you.

www.twiceblessed.net should give you the basic info. They have monthly meetings with childcare.

hang in there.
Susan

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

You sound like me 2 1/2 years ago.
I run a support group for parents in Plano for ADHD. I've been really active in learning about ADHD and related disorders. Went to the national conference this year. I am actually working with someone on developing a parent training course.
I think I have some good resources for you. There are some counseling clinics that give free sessions.
I am an open book and would love to talk to you or meet with you.
AD/HD is a disability. If he is diagnosed with it, you can get FREE services from the public school system. here in Plano, the PreK services are great.
PLEASE E-MAIL ME!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried contacting Early Childhood Intervention? They offer assistance for children to age three....but might could point you in the right direction for finding a support group. You do have a 2 1/2 year old. They sometimes send therapists to the home to teach the parent how to cope.

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M..
I lived with what you have described. My heart goes out to you. I have been through many,many,many doctors to assist me with my travels to get my son the help he needs. There is so much I could write about to assist you. I have finally found a doctor who is listening to me and evaluating my son, not the ADHD. My son is now 9 and its been a long time coming. If you would like to call me to discuss, talk or vent, my door is open. We moms need someone to lean on to stay strong for our little ones. My sons are 4 years apart and yes, the younger one follows suit of the eldest for sure. My home number is ###-###-#### and my cell is ###-###-####. If you'd prefer to email me for some specifics, I understand. My email is ____@____.com strong, you are a good mom. You are reaching out for help, you recognize this is beyond just putting in place structure or rules. I truley believe the strength it takes to care and parent a child w/ADHD goes beyond what other parents encounter. Stay strong, Stay strong, Stay strong. Just hang on and keep reaching for advise and information for you to continue making the right decisions for your family. Looking forward to speaking with you soon. Respectfully and in full understanding,
Doreen

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