It is so hard to maintain sanity when all your love is sent back in violent spasms. My significant other was like this as a child, but his mom and dad did not put him on medication - he was not dangerously violent, just broke a lot of things. Somehow they got through it, and he grew up. Now, we know that ADHD comes with "accessories" a lot of the time. One of these is autism, and if he is speaking, there is a degree of autism that is lesser that is called Asberger's Syndrome. The reason I am saying this is that the pushing away of the loved ones is a classic symptom. These children are often very brilliant, and their social just does not work like others. One thing you might try that is inexpensive is magnesium suppliments. You can put it in his foods and see if it does not help with the degree of these spells. The best one is magnesium taurate, and you can get it at the Vitamin Shop as well as on line. It is not really cheap, but it is cheaper than years of Drs and therapy for sure. You do not need a prescription, and it cannot hurt him. Magnesium is a natural ingredient for mental health. It has been shown to be deficient in those with depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and other more serious mental illnesses. Some people use up more of this than others, and just need more. Our diets are not as balanced as they used to be, and we just need more of some things. I found out about this after my daughter developed depression as a result of her diabetes. It took 3 years, but diabetes depletes magnesium from the system. She takes magnesium glycinate, and it does better for diabetics. It will even prevent type II diabetes (usually in older people) and heart disease. If you ever do get insurance that covers testing, there are Drs that treat people through diet as well as medicine here in the DFW area. Check out ACAM.org for one near you. My SO had so many important hormones and enzymes out of whack, but now he is doing much better. It has taken us over 5 years of peeling the layers off of his problems and symptoms one at a time to find that his personality disorder and diet were the root cause. So, try the magnesium, but do not just buy anything. Some kinds are actually bad for you, and the stuff in multivitamins usually ends up in pill form in the toilet (not absorbed). Make sure you do not give it with milk or dairy, because that can cause kidney stones. I take mg at night, and have my milk/yogurt in the morning.
All you can do is accept him and love him. His siblings also need to know that it is not about them, and that he is ill. In time, he may learn to fit in better socially and even show appreciation for affection from you all more. It is not anger, it is a failure in his brain to understand the social things we all take for granted. ADHD kids get attention from acting out, so time outs in older kids help - but not too long. Hug therapy (hugging for a certain time even against their will) helps too. Keeping their minds stimulated enough is almost impossible, but computers and video games help in a lot of people.
Keep learning - it will keep you sane for the rest of your family too!
D.
PS My kids and I are also ADHD, but the SO is way farther out there than we are - we are all very successful with life, maybe even more so than if we did not have this personality type!! Keep the Faith!!
http://george-eby-research.com/html/dep.html
http://search.msn.com/results.aspx?q=highly+functioning+a...