Need ideas of how to spend the Thanksgiving "alone" with my husband and kids. Long story short, after two years of working on his denial of the family's abusive behavior, he broke through as we saw it reach our children. For the past year we have tried to implement some "safe" boundaries, but it has not been successful as they continue to deny problems. My folks live way out of state, and my sister has agreed to "stop by" for an hour (she lives far and has young kids...she did her best to squeeze us in and is very supportive) to break up the lonliness, but what can we do all day so that my husband and kids aren't thinking about the lonliness?
We have accepted that we did our best to be fair, but need to put our children's safety first. I would welcome any ideas, suggestions, thoughts to keep everyone's spirits "thankful" and happy! Thanks mommas!!
Thank you all so much!! Thank you for caring, for the great ideas and suggestions. After reading all the posts I was re-energized with the holiday spirit and made some great plans! We are going to make ornaments, make Christmas- chocolate- dipped- pretzels, and take joy in the company of each other (instead of being on guard) by watching a fun movie!!
Also after reading the other posts about family issues and the holidays, it so made me remember why we are in this situation, to be thankful we took action early to lessen everyones pain, and to be grateful that we have our health, a home and each other!! Thank you all so much and I hope you all have happy and healthy holidays!
Holiday Craft Party!!!!!!! Woooo Hoooo! I did it every year it was just me and my family, we had a blast painting santas and making shirts and ornaments. Mostly to give to family members for Christmas! It was so fun!!!!
I like the jammies idea. Make your meal as a family, do a family craft (make a paper chain to count down the days to Xmas or make xmas decorations), play with playdoh, rent a movie or two, play board games and take lots of pictures. If they have quality time with mom and dad, they won't feel like they're missing anything. The kids are young enough that it won't bother them. You'll appreciate these memories later, when you realize how fast they've grown.
Good luck!
Hi Mom ES
I know what your going through only it's my parents that we recently had to cut ties with for similar reasons. My husband and I have very small families and the only family that lives nearby or that we have contact with is his parents so we do get to spend the Holidays with them but that's it and frankly were all ok with it. Ultimately you and your husbands family is now eachother and your kids. We always spend Christmas Eve with his folks but Christmas day is ours alone and I absolutely love it. We stay in our jammies all day, Mommy has mimosa's :) and everyone just enjoys having a fun lazy day together as a family.
There is no need to believe that you or your children are going to feel "lonely" because it will just be the 5 of you! In fact I would assume the 5 of you are eachother's favorite people to be with so really your very blessed to be spending the Holidays together. Many people don't even have one person to celebrate with much less 4!
Make it a festive day, start creating some family traditions that get you all thinking about why you truly should be so thankful for all that life has given you. You don't need a house full of people to do that. We created a new tradition where we have a beautiful jar and every thanksgiving we each write down what we are thankful for this year and what we hope next year will bring, place it in the jar and pack it away with the decorations. The following year we pull the jar out at Thanksgiving, read last years notes reflect on what we've done and what God has blessed us with and then replace them with the current year notes. It's really helped us to focus on what truly matters in life and well, every year, I look around my small table of 6 people and thank God that He blessed me with all that He has. Your children will follow you and your husband's lead. If your enjoying your time with your family and are enthusiastic about the Holiday, they will be too!
Just let past worries, regrets, sadness and disappointments go and live today with today in mind and look at your beautiful family and know it really can't get any better!
Happy Thanksgiving!
You have already received so many great thoughts. Dont know how old your children are but like someone said, get them involved with preparing the meal. After dinner my kids go into the livingroom with all the catologs I save and they make up there Christmas lists while my husband and I clean up the kitchen. Afterwards you can play a board game or watch a movie or rent some Thanksgiving cartoons if they are younger. We also do the tradition of everyone saying what they are thankful for. With the smell of turket baking in the oven, it can be such a soothing memorable holiday no matter how many people are there as long as you, Mom, are relaxed your family will follow.
N.
Mom of 3 awesome kids. Ryan 12, Troy 9, & Audrey 3. Wife to a great husband for the last 19 years.
You will not be 'alone' - you will have each other - it can be a wonderful way to spend the day. Our parents and extended families all live out of state, so we are used to spending holidays without them.
One thing I do is kind of spread the word that we have an 'open house' on both Thanksgiving and Christmas to our friends. Sometimes we don't stop to think of our friends who are either single, or without parents or family support facing the holidays truly alone - and they love to come over and be part of our family traditions.
But that being said, it's really better just having 'close family' - you can start your own traditions, like decorating for Christmas 'early', or just going around the table and saying what you are thankful for.
As mama's we direct the mood of our household during holidays, so do whatever you need to keep your spirit light and focus on the positives! Don't bring up family members who are not there - give them a call & wish them well and leave it at that.
best wishes,
W.
Hello,
Don't worry, you are never alone when you have kids! My advice to you would be to start your own family traditions, have your entire family help in preparing the entire Thanksgiving meal, give everyone a chore and have them help tweak a favorite dish to make it unique. If you feel very motivated you can call your local senior center and ask if your family could come visit with a resident who too may be alone for the holiday. My situation is that my daugher has no grandparents and I feel so sad for her that she will miss out, both my parents passed away and my in laws live out of the country so my 7 yr old daughter and I went to the assisted living center and met some nice older folks and it was a wonderful experience. You can rent special family movies and relax knowing you will never be lonely if you have eachother. Enjoy.
Mom--you have a really unique time to start your own family tradition. Kudos on doing what ws best for your kids. As your kids get older, you might find that that is an actual improvement over the big extended family gig. We always watch one of our favorite Christmas movies "Miracle on 34th Street" or "It's a Wonderful Life. We also have our dinner and then work on Christmas crafts, cards, or decorations. It is a lot of fun. As long as the kids have you, and you are having fun, they will too! Best of luck!
first of all, sorry that is tough. my first thought is to donate your time a amll part of your day to working at a soup kitchen homeless shelter. i see that your children are very small which may make this tough but maybe you can just stop by one of these places as a family and make a donation. seeing others less fortunate really puts things into perspective. then id spend the day cooking together find things the kids can help with, easy desserts they can help make, then after dinner board games, or start your own family tradition something you will continue to do year after year on thanksgiving.
