Need Help with Potty Training - Medina,OH

I had the same thing happen with my daughter. She would actually come to me and say she needed a diaper because she needed to poop. She would go and put on a pull up and squat down and poop in a corner, then come back to me and tell me she was done and needed cleaned up. It was obvious she knew the signs, but just had a fear of the toilet. I talked to my doctor about it, she told me that pooping and pooping on the potty is VERY personal for children. Not to push it and not to punish her for not doing it. When she was ready she would move to the toilet. She told me "I promise, she won't be going to kindergarten with a diaper". She was right. About 3 1/2 my daughter just one day decided she was ready for the toilet and we never looked back!

Have you ever tried letting him run around the house wearing no pants or underwear? I did that with my daughter and she would automatically go to the toilet when she needed to poop. Well, at first she would say,"Put my pants on! I need to poop!" So I told her that instead of that, she needs to go poop in the toilet. Eventually she got the hang of it and got to the point where she was completely potty trained with clothes on.

My neice did the exact same thing she would come and ask for a diaper so she could poop in it and then tell you she needed changed. She was too afraid of pooping in the potty she said it wasn't comfortable to poop on the pot. We bribed her with rewards instead of punishments and she started going on the potty after about a month of tempting her with prizes. She didn't seem to care about punishments either. hope it all works out for you

I have three children and I found that positive reinforcement worked best with them. I allowed them to have a treat each time they tried the potty (maybe an M&M) and a handful if they were successful in using the potty. Eventually, they forgot to ask for the "reward" and they just did it themselves. Also, if your son has a birthday coming up, you can use that to your advantage. Say, "Four year olds use the potty when they go poopie...now that you are four, you can use the potty too." Finally, make sure your son is comfortable with the height of the potty and the size of the seat. He may want a toddler chair at first so he is comfortable. Hope this helps!

The age is different, but to help my 2 1/2 year old get over her fear of pooping in the toilet, I bribed her with chocolate. She had done it before but was scared for some reason. So I sat her on the toilet, hugged and soothed her while she screamed she was scared. I read her a story to distract her and reminded her of the chocolate and she got through it just fine. The next time she was scared but only needed half the coaxing, and even less the time after that. Now she'll sit there with a stack of books and call me when she's done. And I reward her with a piece of chocolate (haven't phased it out yet, this has all happened recently and she's still not fully trained). And one piece is enough, or like 3 choclate chips. She's just happy and proud of herself.

Does he sit or stand to pee? I'm sure you've probably already tried this, but it worked for us after my son had a surgery down there and was afraid of the evil toilet at the hospital. We used the old potty training toilet...it looked different enough for him until he was able to go a few times and see that it wasn't the toilet.

I've heard of other kids being afraid of the toilet altogether and those fitted seats that make the hole smaller helping.

Honestly, the bigger a deal you make out of it, the worse it will get. The whole "scared" to poop thing is perfectly normal and many, many kids experience this. He will do it on his own. It's better to give incentives than disciplining when it comes to potty training. Make a "star chart" or sticker chart (let him put them on) and when he poops in the potty he gets to put one on and then after he goes for "X" amount of times then he gets something (very little type thing). A special trip to store with mommy or daddy trip, special ice cream treat, etc. Hope this helps.

What worked for my daughter was that she had a "potty mentor"! She is an only child, but very close to her cousin that is a year older. When it was time for my daughter to potty train, we would let her go in the bathroom with her cousin. Her cousin would potty first & we would praise her. Then I would say to my daughter "don't you want to be a big girl too?". She responded very well to that. I also figured out that the sound of the flush was very scarey to my daughter. So, for a while I waited until my daughter would leave the bathroom, then I would flush it.

My neice was "scared" to poop in the potty until I told her that there was a $1 bill on the back of her potty but she could not take it until she poops in the potty then I would take her to the dollar store and she could get her something she wanted.

Worked!!! She has poop in the potty ever since. (She does not expect the $1 bill to be there either.

rewards are a wonderful thing with potty training. If you discourage it or punish him he will not want to try to do it. this is where the feeling of being "scared" comes from.

good luck!

I would suggest you make him wash them out by hand in the toilet. This has worked for many kids. They don't like getting their hands dirty.

We paid our daughter to potty train. Every time she went in the potty she got some coins of which she saved in her piggy bank. When it was full I took her to the bank to exchange them for dollars and she shopped for anything SHE wanted. It took four days to potty train her at age 2 1/2. It was immediate and instant gratification for a job well done, plus it was teaching some banking and money management skills, of which she still uses two years later.
I would be very careful of using punishment or force for potty training. I've seen friends who have done this, and it took them nearly a year to potty train because their child became resentful of the whole process.
Another friend just went through the EXACT same situation as you, peeing was no issue but the whole poo thing was a problem. After a couple of months it finally one day just clicked. Do you have a slightly older child who can demonstrate? My daughter actually helped some by showing their son that making poo on the potty is fun.
Another friend has put some Cheerios in the potty to try and aim for. We used to wave and say "Bye" as it goes down and continue to use the Kandoo wipes with that cute little frog, anything to make it silly and fun!

Keep trying!! He'll get it eventually!! :-)

Hi J.,
Maybe you could use one of the small child size potty training toilets that you could sit in the bathroom and let him use this one until he gets used to going on it and it doesn't seem so scary?
A friend of mine said her oldest boy went through the same thing and he went a year with going potty on the toilet but for the year would go poop in his underwear and never in the toilet. She said she went through a-lot of underwear that year :)
I'm not sure what else to tell you, sorry!
Good luck!!!
T.

Hi J.,
You didn't indicate what you mean by "potty"...is he using the regular sized toilet, or are you using a child sized potty? If using a regular toilet, then I recommend you switch to the small sized potty as the toilet can be a little frightening because of its size, to children this age. Also, does your son stand to go pee or is he sitting down on a potty? One of our three sons felt better sitting backwards on the toilet to pee and poop, vs. using the child sized potty. Another son was frightened to poop anywhere but in his pants. So I searched the bookstores and library for childrens books that contained stories about going potty...not on potty training, but books for the little ones to understand. Sometimes by viewing pictures and hearing stories is reassuring to kids. Also, I don't recommend depriving him of his special toys because he poops in his pants, nor do I recommend reprimanding him. It's better to talk with him about how much better it is to have his poop be in the potty instead of it making a mess of his bottom. When we take away privileges over pooping in pants, then it can often lead to them holding it in and becoming afraid to poop for fear of punishment. Try the library, have patience, and realize it takes some children longer than others to get over their fears of pooping in the potty. Continue to encourage him and be repetitive in your statements.

Have you tried taking him to the bathroom when you poop and then making a "big deal" afterwards and letting him believe it's a great thing. My husband used to tell me when we were potty training, "How many 18 year olds do you see running around with diapers on? They'll get it." This, however, did not make me feel better. I hope this doesn't sound weird but I used to take pictures of my young ones and would really play it up like it was the best thing in the world to poop in the potty. I also would watch for certain facial expressions and could tell when they were ready to go and just kinda make them sit until they went. Mother nature will take her course. I'm 37 with 3 kids. 13,9,3.

Hi J.. We are going through the same with our 3 year old. A good friend of mine who has a child the same age said the same. She said to try putting the potty chair where he would go to do his business, I wasn't to keen on the idea since it is in his playroom. Well I decided what could it hurt to try. So the first morning I put nothing on but a t shirt and told him when he needs to go poopy that his chair is in there. Well the first day he pooped and has been going since. I kept the chair in his playroom for about 5 days then moved it to our bathroom and he did just fine. That lasted about 2 weeks and he has finally starting using the big potty!! I hope this helps!
Good Luck!
M.

I don't think punishing him is going to help in this situation, maybe if he had been poop trained but was just being lazy it would. In this situation you can try to "positively reinforce" his pooping on the potty. Rather than force the issue you could just ask him to let you know when he has to poop and you can offer him a diaper to wear while he poops, but also offer the potty and a reward (my kids responded well to m&ms or hershey kisses - the beauty is, just one will do). At least it's making him aware of his need to poop and take steps (and you won't have the extra laundry). I wouldn't just let him wear the diaper around, make him request it when he feels the need to go and take it off immediately after. I would also dump the deposit into the toilet and flush it to help reinforce that that is where the poop needs to go. Making it a battle will only strengthen his resolve and punishing him will just make him have more negative associations with the whole thing. It's frustrating, but not unusual for a small child to fear pooping on the potty. Be happy that he's got the number 1 thing down and be patient - he'll come around when he's ready.

I am a grandmother of five children. The oldest, now 19, would hide behind a chair and do the same thing for some time.
Little ones sometimes fear pooping in the potty because they fear they are losing part of their body. I am not a child psychologist, but I do know that this is a very real fear in some children. I would suggest you not punish him but try to explain how the body works to eliminate food or waste from food that it does not need. I realize this may not be an easy task with such a young child. He needs patience and understanding. You may want to consult a psychologist or read about this problem to find a way to help him.

I feel your pain! Something that worked for us with our son (who we potty trained at the same age) was this: We told him he could have any toy he wanted (within reason) if he had no accidents for a week. We also religiously read a book called "Everybody Poops" for weeks preparing him for the big event. So when we were ready and felt he was ready, we had him name the toy (a toy tractor, where he got this from we still have no idea) and that week he trained to poop in the potty. I have other friends who have had this same issue, they gave their daughter a diaper to poo in when she told them she had to go (refused the potty until 3 1/2 to poo. At least it kept her clothes clean. Is he afraid of falling in? the Flush? I am assuming he stands to pee and you are using a regular potty. We never used a potty chair so he would go in public restrooms without issue if he needed to. You can also try a kids potty seat which fits over an adult sized seat, but makes the hole smaller and it has handles on the side for him to hold onto. You can get it at babies r us. Hope this helps!

hi my little brother was sorta like this he used to sit on the toliet like a frog- he said he didint like the water splashing on his behind-of course we made fun of him and now i that were older i feel bad because he had a fear of this and couldnt help it-do you think this might be something to ask him? or ask if its something else that he fears-maybe try a little potty-its better than his pants-goodluck-C.

I was just talking to my friend about this...when her son was about that age she had the same problem. By chance his grandma bought him underwear with his favorite cartoon character on the butt and he stopped pooping his pants. Why? Because he didn't want to poop on Elmo!! That is what he told his mom. I don't think this is a researched potty training strategy :) But you might give it a try.

It is very unusual for a 3 year old to start pooping on the pot right after they are potty trained. I do think it will get worse if you use negative consequences and make a big deal. By worse I mean he could stop pooping and then you will have a bigger problem on your hands. A child who is blocked up due to constipation or withholding is terribly painful. Give him some time then try it again only this time with some positive reinforcement so he can be in control.
Good luck and enjoy the positives on being three

We had the same problem with our second son. I can tell you from experience that taking toys (things) away from him will not work. You just need to keep a positive attitude about the idea that poop goes in the potty and strive for an award when he does. We did get him to go poop in the potty when we let up and make him incharge of his body. This isn't an easy road and I wish you the best of luck.

We had the same problem with my son (now 13). I chose to let him poop in a diaper. He had to tell me when he had to poop, then I would put on his diaper, he'd poop, and I'd clean it up and put him back in underwear. Eventually, he just started pooping on the potty by himself.

Hi, J.. My daughter (who recently turned 3) used to do the same thing. I think all toddlers go through this stage! She would poop in her pants, even though she knew she should have sat on her potty. We're finally transitioning her to use the real toilet instead of her own little potty. Have you tried giving your son his own little potty for poop only? Maybe that will help him feel better about it? Is there a certain time of day when you know he has to poop? We also tried just putting our daughter on her potty in the living room while she was watching tv. She would just sit until she did her thing. Maybe tell your son that he can pick new underwear if he starts to poop in the potty? Or, start a sticker chart and when he gets to a certain number then he gets a new toy? Good luck!

Our 3 year old daughter wouldnt poop on the potty either and we had had enough. We asked around and several of our friends/family swear by this method:

Buy Miralax at the store. It's just a flavorless powder laxative that you can add to any beverage. Put it in his juice several times a day, preferablly in several back-to-back doses. Then leave his underpants on and refuse to put a diaper on. Bring your son, yourself and tons of toys and books into the bathroom and just hang out there. It's hard, but REFUSE to give him a diaper. He will indicate when he has to go and you may actually have to hold him on the potty (it sounds mean, but it works). We did this the first time and our daughter kept saying "diaper mommy," and I did have to hold her down on the potty. That was all it took. As soon as she was done, we cheered, gave her candy and told her "see that wasn't so bad now, was it?" She was pooping on the potty from that day on. I know several families that have done this method and it works!!!

Also, that weekend, we had a "poopy party" at Chuck E Cheese with pizza, friends, a cake and her grandparents. I'd start talking to him about something he may really want to do and tell him you'll go there and have a poopy party when he goes poop on the potty "all the time."

Good Luck!

Have you tried using a childs seat on your toilet? Worked great for my niece.

Sounds like he has some anxieties with using the potty to go poopy, I would talk to your Pediatrician and see if this is something they have delt with before, maybe they could give you more guidence.

My sister's experience worked like a charm for my 4 yr old nephew. She devoted an entire day to him and potty training. They went to the library got potty videos and books, and came home talking and reading and watching and talking about the potty.
Then she pulled out a baby doll she'd bought. It went potty. She asked Evan if he could teach the baby to go potty. HE did, and the baby got a present (something cheap from the dollar store). This continued and Evan could see the rewards this baby was getting, and the baby had really cool CARS underwear.
My sister says--Evan do you want to wear cars underwear?
yes--okay puts that on and then she sayss--do you want to go on the potty and see if you get a present?
yes--he does
This goes on for an entire day--so buy plenty of treats from the store.
Then she says, Evan, if you make poop in the potty, maybe there's a really big present--do you want to see?
yes, (she has been filling him with fruit all day) so he tries and after a little while he makes one small poop. Angela has the phone ring it's a friends husband, tells Evan Great Job, this is Lightning McQueen! I f you can make a big poop in that potty today you can get a really big present.
We all og over for a party to celebrate cake and everything, he makes his big poop and gets a bike!
And that's it--never again does he have an accident!

Oh, I wish I could help! I can only offer support as my 3.5 year old son is having the same problem. He is sure that pooping in the toilet will hurt. He does not poop in his pants, but rather asks for a diaper. The problem is that he "holds" his poop sometime for days. This causes constipation that really does hurt. We give him a lot of prune juice and fruit, hoping to make it less painful. We do LOTS of coaching around how the poop needs to come out, how holding it is was makes it hurt, etc.
My own thinking about this is that, these things just do pass. I never thought he'd sleep through the night and he does. He won't go to college in diapers, etc.
Also, I don't want to get into a battle of wills over his body. I keep thinking that peer pressure and others' examples will set in and do the work for me...we'll see! But I'm right there with you!

My son did this as well and I will tell you it lasted for about 8 months. I tried everything. What finally worked was him literally crying on the tiolet and us spanking his leg if he tried to get down (did I mention we were desperate) I would set the timer and he had to sit there for 3 minutes. He would go 9 times out of 10 b/c he had to go so bad. But eventually he just started going and I realized one day that he was going on his own. I was so thankful. His other problem was he was straining to go even in his pants. It literally hurt him. He was having hard bowel movements. So I told the Dr. and they put him on Milk of Magnesia and he was on that about a year. It took about 1 week for that to kick in but that made a difference to b/c he couldn't hold it when he got on the potty. Good luck.