Child Not Pooping in Toillet

T. try this when one of the parents poop in the toilet tell them to be excited about it & befor they fluch it share it with him, like come look what I did I pooped in the toilit wow, if he knows its safe he may start pooping in the toilit to sometimes we need to show that we do it so its ok for them to even thought its a private matter we some times have to show them we do it to & the private part of it can come latter try it it may work. Mom & Granma J..

The only advice I can give is DON'T push the issue! My son ended up with serious problems pooping (still has problems, and he's 7) because of holding his poop in when he was younger. Let him poop in a diaper until he is ready.

Without more info, I'm not sure if he's totally afraid, has always had issues with holding poo, or if he has a little potty of his own, so sorry if some of my ideas aren't applicable.

First, many kids are afraid of full-sized toilets (our daughter was and still prefers her potty most of the time). If that is the case, I would recommend a small potty (we LOVE our baby bjorn ones).

Second, has she tried an incentive for him? Early on we had a potty chart and also dum-dums for a poop. Later, when pee training was done, we had a poop chart that our daughter could add stickers to. Our friend gave a hot wheels car for the first poop ever on the potty and now just gives lollypops for each poop. Another way is to combine those ideas, a sticker per poop, once 5-10 stickers, then a prize. Etc....

Third, it's very unhealthy for him to hold it that long so I would do anything to make him have to poo more. Our little girl has gotten constipated on occasion since she was a baby, and a little prune juice works wonders. :-) It doesn't take much. We keep the 6-packs of the small (less than 6 oz.) cans of Sunsweet prune juice on hand. That way, when we need it, we give our daughter half a can and store the rest for the next day. Usually within 15-30 minutes, she has a big poop. Don't give more then that, however; because he could get the runs.

Finally, tell your friend to make sure she relaxes about it. He'll figure it all out sooner if she doesn't make a big deal out of it. There are very few things toddlers have control over: sleeping, eating and pooping; so he might just feel like he isn't allowed to progress at his own pace. She doesn't want to make it a negative experience - instead focus positively on the goal.

Hope some or all of this helps. It will happen, I promise. :-D Oh, and when they're ready, it usually all happens so quickly that you can't believe it was as easy as it was to potty train them.

My suggestion would be to let him go where he wants, and if he wants a diaper on then to put one on. My daughter will not use a diaper but hates going in the toilet too (just poop). She will pee in any toilet but I think she really hates the way it feels to poop in the toilet. She is almost 3 and this has been going on for almost a year.

I feed her as much high fiber food as I can so she can't hold it for too many days. She has slowly gotten better but it is very frustrating for us adults to deal with. I have read her a few books about poop, like Everyone Poops. I don't know how much that helps but I suppose it can't hurt.

I think not making a big deal about it is important and if he only wants to go in his pants that's ok as long as she can take it.

Boys take longer than girls. Be glad he is at least going pee on the potty. If there is any truth to Psychology, children at this age are going through a developmental stage where they are learning that they have some control over how they interact with the world. Choosing to use the potty or go in his pants is just his way of having control over his world.

He will go in the potty when he is ready. My nephew wouldn't go poop until he was almost 5. My son is 3 1/2 and prefers to go in a diaper or pull up in his quiet room. I am choosing to not make an issue of it because I don't want to associate using the potty with arguing or being an upsetting experience.

Him holding it may be of concern, my son also holds it, I have had many talks with him and his doctor...we have not been able to come up with a solution yet.

I have the EXACT same problem. My 2 1/2 year old had the pee in the potty thing down instantly, it was great. He pooped in the potty once, but hasn't since. He hides when he does it in his pants and he says he's sad when he poops his pants. I don't make it a big deal, just clean it up. I figure he'll get it in his own time. In the meantime, if I see him start I try and get him to go on the potty. I think they might not have as much control over going #2 as they do going #1, so it's a little scary for them?

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Try a training potty. If he can handle that then move back to the real toilet after some time. He's only 2 1/2 years old. That's on the early side for boys to potty train anyway so she needs to have a little more patience. One thing to remember is that they will do all this when THEY are ready. The more we try to force it the more they will regress. Hang in there and he will get it eventually.

It took my son a LOT longer to start pooping in the potty.....even after he was peeing in it all the time. I think it just takes different timing for everyone. He's really doing great at it now, and things are continuing to progress nicely. He's 3 and a half, so much older than your friend's son.

He is probably afraid of falling into the toilet, or loosing part of himself into the toilet. The toilet seems big to a two year old. So I recommend that you get one of those small toilets that sit on the floor. He will feel more secure there.

Just a suggestion.

My child went through the same thing. One day when she was playing not truly focused on me I asked her why she was afraid of the potty.

And she actually told me....that alligators lived in there and whe was afraid she was going to get bit! When I said that alligators were too big she actually argued and said that baby alligators were small enough.

We went to the library and learned all about where they lived, etc. But I think the thing that finally fully trained her was being allowed to call her aunties, grandmas and grandpas to tell them she went on the potty (they were all pre-warned about the alligators and all mentioned they they lived in Florida with their mommies).

So I guess my point is...sometimes we forget to just ask rather than lecture. Sadly ASKING her was my last resort too!

My daughter did this same thing she would hold it for up to a week then she would finally go in her pants then one day i caught her trying to poo her pants and decided to put her potty chair in her room which is usually where she hid to poop. and she decided yo poop in her potty she did that twice and never pooped her pants again. so i gueuss my advice would be to find a private comfortableplace and put a potty chair there and hopefully it will be as easy for you as it was for me.
GOOG LUCK

This is very common with many children. Have his parents talk to him and see if he can express what is wrong. Typically this happens because they are either afraid of "losing" a part of themselves. They do not know it's waste and not needed. So if that is explained to him, he may be more willing to let it go. If he goes in his pants, take him to the potty and dump the solids int he toilet and maybe have him flush the toilet and very excitedly say, "Bye Bye poo poo!" They realize it's okay and see mom or dad smiling and feel better about it.

If he's afraid of falling int he toilet, then he may need a little potty chair to go poo in.

Another issue is if he had a painful bowel movement. He may have associate sitting on the toilet with the pain and is afraid. I would try to catch him when he is trying to poo in hiding and get him on a little potty seat. When he's done praise him, offer him a little reward, give him stickers to stick on a potty chart or something else that works for him to reinforce that it is a positive thing.

Sincerely,
A.
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As you can see by the responses, this is completely normal. Don't rush his readiness. Let him do it in his own time. Most kids aren't fully potty trained at 2 1/5 anyhow. This is an important stage when he explores his own independence and starts learning about control (and relinquishing it). Enjoy his discovery and just let him use his diapers for #2 if that is what he wants. Of course reward him when he makes the choice you prefer (the potty), but don't push it. He will chose to do it on the potty soon enough.

Try having him clean out his poopy pants - with direct supervision. When I tried this with my son he didn't think it was so great to poop in his pants. He only did it once more after the first time I made him clean up the mess.

Hello T.,

Dont worry, your daughter will get through it. My son did the same thing and of course I worried. He would only potty in the toilet but then would poop in his pull up. I used to get so paranoid that he would never do it and then my mother-in-law would just say when he is ready he will do it and he did when he was 3, and we havent had one problem since. We were so excited that day, we cheered and clapped and made a big fuss about it so maybe all that praise helped too!

T.,

Let him squat on the toilet seat. My son is almost 5 1/2 and has only been potty trained for a year. When we were training him I found out that there were monsters in out toilet that were trying to get him/his poop. Like your friend's son my guy would poop his pants and not tell anyone. I showed my son how to get up on the toilet to squat on the seat, and the problem vanished.

Good luck for you all,
Melissa

I would ask that child if he wants to poop in a diaper. Pooping in a diaper is better than holding it in and getting constipated. My son is almost 4 and he still wants to poop in a diaper, but is completely potty trained otherwise. There are lots of sections in potty training books about this subject so there is lots of advice available in books and what not.
Take care,
T.

It might hurt him to have a bowel movement if he is constipated. Are there stool softeners for children in a tasty form? There used to be.I am a grandma now. One mother told me she wasn't able to poop train her son until he had a bout of diarrhea. Seems it came so easy and often he got the hang of it.
M.