Need Help with My Daycare Provider

First I'd like to play devil's advocate on one comment that I read: one person said surgery is not an emergency and can be planned for. That's not necessarily true. My mom went to the doctor's office for something "simple" and they wouldn't let her out at all; they transferred her straight to the hospital. I was called out of my highschool class and had to go home and get her gown and some bits---she was having surgery within the hour. That happens sometimes.
On the other hand, I was an in-home care provider and I never took paid vacations. We gave the parents several month's notice when we took family vacation (as soon as we knew the dates, ourselves) but I didn't think to charge for it because they'd have to pay someone else. However, I'd be more upset with the fact she left children with her husband or anyone else and told you AFTER the fact instead of clearing it with you beforehand. Do you know him? A doctor's appointment, she knew about ahead of time and could have made arrangements or asked if you were ok with the husband watching the children. Especially if he's just had surgery and may be too weak to do anything? That makes no sense. When my son had a pediatric appointment, I would get a "next appointment card" filled out for the parents, too.....so they had time to be ok with me taking him to the doctors with us, or to make arrangements that would be more suitable to them.
Not all in-home childcare is "bad" or a pain. I would say I was MUCH more flexible and worked with the parents more than daycare! But there are issues that come up, and that is one. I got very sick over the weekend once, had a 103 fever Monday morning, and was shaking incontrollably. My husband got a sitter for our own son, and I had to call the parents and tell them I couldn't watch children that day. I felt terrible about it, but I had to go to the doctor for shots and rest. If inhome childcare doesn't have a helper, it will probably happen eventually. But it only happened once with me, and I didn't charge since it was my fault not theirs. (I DID charge if was their choice not to come though).

If I were you, I would find another daycare provider. I'm sure she knew about the surgery at least a week in advance; these things don't just happen from one night to the next. And I wouldn't pay her if she doesn't give you advance notice. I understand emergencies come up, but surgery and dr's appts are not emergencies, they can be planned for in advance. Also, I would be upset if she left my child with another person without asking my permission first. If she didn't tell you about that in advance, she may think it's ok to leave your child with anyone she thinks is acceptable without ever telling you. She may have done it a few times already and you wouldn't know. That's not a secure situtation and if it were me, I would find someone else. It's too much stress to think about time issues and who is really watching your child.

I had almost a similar situation happen to me. My son went to an in home child care provider, and everything was going great for a while. Then all of the sudden she called me one day at work, and told me that I needed to come pick up my son because her dog is deathly ill, and that if they don't get him into surgery today, that the dog will die. Well I panicked and didn't want her leaving my kid, wherever (which I don't think she would have, but still). Long story short, after that incident she kept saying things like oh I may have to close tomorrow. Or I would drop him off and she would say I almost thought about closing today. So needless to say, before I lost my job I put him in a regular daycare. In home childcare provider's are more difficult to deal with. My suggestion is have a good solid back up in case of emergencies. Or take your daughter out and find another place for her to go, that is more stable and reliable.
Good LUck!

Jessica what neighborhood are you in. I will be opening a in-home child care mid march as soon as everything is final and I would be happy to take care of you child. I am seeking children ages 3-5. I have a smoke-free home in a christian atmosphere. If you are intrested, call me ###-###-####

My son has been with an in-home provider for 18 mo. and if my son is sick or I make the choice for him not to go, I pay her. However, if she takes a vacation, holiday, etc. I do not pay her and it has never been a problem. If I were you I would not be happy with the situation at all. Daycare providers should not get "vacation days" and expect you to pay them for it. However, if this is her policy she will probably not budge and you will probably have to grin and bear it or look for new childcare. I am actually about to put my son in preschool to avoid some of the things I have had to deal with with my in-home provider.