Need Help Discipling 3 Yr Old

Brekka,

I feel for you dear. I only have a son and he is 6. I believe the term I always heard was strong willed child. That is good book, by Dr Dobson-I think my son helped him write it. I find that giving him choices works the best for me now. It doesn't work all the time, but it has made a difference. Time out, spanking, taking toys or priveledges away has never worked for more than a few days or maybe weeks- then was ineffective. You may try making a star chart, that worked pretty well when he was that age. Focus on the positive though- praise praise praise for the good. And try to get special mommy time in with her if you can. Good luck

i think that you should look at your one on one relationship with your daughter. i had the same proble you had when my little girl was two with her younger brother. my doc told me that i react diffrent when i talk about the two. i found that my daughter felt over looked and pushed aside because her brother has special needs and was so young. all she needed and wanted was to spend time with mom with out interferance from her brother. may be your daughter feels the same way. i hope i helped.

Hi Brekka, your daughter sounds a lot like mine just without the brother. One book I have recently read and started to enforce is the Parenting With Love and Logic. I'm sure you have heard of it and it is amazing! I was desperate as well and I had heard so many good things about that book so I thought I would give it a try. It's all about giving your children choices that you can live with that will help them to become responsible, caring, adults. It works wonders at helping to control your sanity. They also make a Love and Logic book for ages Birth-6 years. I loved the first one so much and I really want to get that one as well. It really helps me to feel as if I have more control without my daughter really knowing I have control. Good luck! I definitely understand your pain!

i have a 3 1/2 boy and an almost 3 year old girl. i used to stop him all the time and just be on top of his every mover when it came to him around her(she was 3 mo premature and i worry about her..lol).. but... once i just let thing play out and his taunting her or trying to stop her from play with something, ,if i just let it play out and not intervene, things usually worked out. as long as there wasnt' any physical hurting going on..
i had to let them try to figure out ways to work things out together. i used to be so on him..telling him to stop so much.. but theni realized and read some where.. to discipline both if they can't share or get along not just one. so then i started telling both of them if they can't play nice together , and that they needed to stop fighting over toys i was gonna put the toy up and no one was gonna get to play with it. so you guys need to share. it works most the time. if something like being sick or tired isn't also a factor. i have found myself saying 'cooper what are you doing to bella?'.. just when i hear her screaming about something. but then i figured out i was on him too much and realized she was just screaming for no reason. not sure if i'm of much help.
there is a book i liked called no cry/whine discipline..if you can't find it email me and i'll look at the book and get you the author.
sounds like time outs have been used too much for too much and they have become ineffective now. imo when discipline is used too often for too many little infractions that could be solved or talked thru by other means, then it doesn't work any longer. like they say about spanking. if you use it all the time then the kids could care less.. lol

i ways also reading recently that helped me.. that sometimes us parents make things worst by how we react or act to a situation. i know my temper and anger and such was making things worst. i'll have to find that book too.. not saying you have anger stuff like i do at times..but frustration is hard. :-(

good luck.. email anytime.. it's not easy with them so close. there is also a group that is just for closing aged siblings if you want it..
T.

Brekka~
HOW TO TRAIN UP A CHILD, BY DEBI PEARL, AND HER HUSBAND That is an excellent book, so completely eye opening, and really gets to the root issues in raising kiddos!
It has been an invaluable resource for me and my hubby, as I am a SAHM, working around my 2 girls from home,(3 1/2 and almost 2yrs.) so getting on the phone, setting appts, I need cooaperative kids, or else...well lets just say it could be chaos! haha
Blessigns, Brekka,
M.
____@____.com

I've also heard that red, blue and purple dye in foods can REALLY effect their behavior. We just started limiting our younger son's intake of these dyes 2 days ago, so it's too soon for us to tell if it's going to help. You really have to watch though because there's alot of kids' foods that have these dyes in them: candy, fruit snacks, drinks, etc. But you might try that and see if it helps her behavior =)